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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naked charity calendar - AIBU

157 replies

Curtaincall1 · 18/12/2022 15:00

I recently purchased a naked charity calendar from a local sports club as a lighthearted way of helping a good cause and a little bit of fun. However I have told my partner and he has completely overreacted and wants me to get rid of it comparing it to pornography.
what’s more is my son overheard us arguing about the calendar and he’s not happy either and wants it binned.

AIBU

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 18/12/2022 16:32

I mean I wouldn’t be happy if DH brought home a naked women calendar and hung it in our bedroom. I’d be a bit annoyed tbh.

girlmom21 · 18/12/2022 16:40

Are these all naked men who you personally know?

Octo5 · 18/12/2022 16:42

My sisters DH buys her a naked calendar every year!

They have no issue with it.
I wouldn’t have an issue with it.
Lots of people I know wouldn’t have an issue with it.

However, your partner does have an issue with it and therefore you need to respect their boundaries and take it down.

QueefQueen80s · 18/12/2022 16:42

Grim if women or men.

Original poster
Curtaincall1 · 18/12/2022 16:45

girlmom21 · 18/12/2022 16:40

Are these all naked men who you personally know?

I don’t know them personally but given the population of where we live I’ll likely have some mutual friends or friends of friends.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 18/12/2022 16:45

The naked calendar is bad enough but the fact they're people in your area makes it completely inappropriate.

Soddingchristmas · 18/12/2022 16:46

Yeah I probably wouldn’t hang it in the bedroom!

My DP and I have a very jokey relationship and he would find it hilarious if I bought a naked calendar - though quite honestly I’m more attracted to dad bodded, bearded hairy men - as my DP happens to be! I’d buy him a naked calendar of his fave actress Margot Robbie if he wanted one!

On this occasion though if it’s really causing so much upset, I’d apologise for the fact that you didn’t mean it to cause upset and bin it. Is it really worth an argument?

Maverickess · 18/12/2022 16:50

I wouldn't have an issue with it, a body is just a body to me and as long as it wasn't coerced or something like that, then I wouldn't be paying it any more heed than if it had cats on it tbh, but I do understand that some people don't understand that about me so if someone I cared about had this reaction I'd not put it up.

pigsDOfly · 18/12/2022 16:53

Why is his objection seen as OTT or in one pp 'controlling'.

It's his home/bedroom as well, why should he have to look at picture of naked men for the next 12 months.

You've stuck it up in your bedroom. Would you be happy to have pictures of naked women stuck up in your bedroom?

If a poster was complaining that someone at work had brought a calendar of naked people into their workplace and wanted to display it above their desk or workbench, I'm pretty certain most people would be telling them to report it to HR.

SnapHappily · 18/12/2022 16:58

Wow so you likely know these men or worse, know their mothers if they are the student age I presume given the calendar.

These calendars and their association with university students is eternally creepy. You say it’s a laugh but would you buy it if they were overweight and middle aged? I don’t think so.

it’s pretty horrible knowing these men had to take their clothes off and be pictured for money and the recipients will be able to see their naked pictures for a small donation to which they’ll likely feel good about.

Have you thought about the mothers of these men? They don’t know which of their friends, coworkers, acquintances or whoever has these pictures and what they’ll think of them. The whole thing is weird when you scratch the surface.

Would you be ok with your adult son doing this?

QueefQueen80s · 18/12/2022 16:59

Soddingchristmas · 18/12/2022 16:46

Yeah I probably wouldn’t hang it in the bedroom!

My DP and I have a very jokey relationship and he would find it hilarious if I bought a naked calendar - though quite honestly I’m more attracted to dad bodded, bearded hairy men - as my DP happens to be! I’d buy him a naked calendar of his fave actress Margot Robbie if he wanted one!

On this occasion though if it’s really causing so much upset, I’d apologise for the fact that you didn’t mean it to cause upset and bin it. Is it really worth an argument?

So you're attracted to dad bod beardy normal men and he fancies an impossibly beautiful actress?

MrsMitford3 · 18/12/2022 17:00

My DS did one with his Uni rowing club to fundraise for a brain injury charity when one of their teammates was hit by a car on his way to practice.

They raised a lot of money and had a laugh. Strategic use of blades etc preserved their modesty...

I didn't have a problem with it and did buy one but admittedly did not put it out on display

Original poster
Curtaincall1 · 18/12/2022 17:13

I’m just going to get rid of it, it’s not worth the hassle and apparently it’s not as normal as I’d believed

OP posts:
Original poster
Curtaincall1 · 18/12/2022 17:15

SnapHappily · 18/12/2022 16:58

Wow so you likely know these men or worse, know their mothers if they are the student age I presume given the calendar.

These calendars and their association with university students is eternally creepy. You say it’s a laugh but would you buy it if they were overweight and middle aged? I don’t think so.

it’s pretty horrible knowing these men had to take their clothes off and be pictured for money and the recipients will be able to see their naked pictures for a small donation to which they’ll likely feel good about.

Have you thought about the mothers of these men? They don’t know which of their friends, coworkers, acquintances or whoever has these pictures and what they’ll think of them. The whole thing is weird when you scratch the surface.

Would you be ok with your adult son doing this?

I wouldn’t object to my son doing it no

OP posts:
FelixDoublyDelicious · 18/12/2022 17:16

MN Pearl clutchers at their finest

Swissnotswiss · 18/12/2022 17:20

It seems a bit of an OTT reaction. And no, it's not porn. 🙄😂

Needmorelego · 18/12/2022 17:20

I wonder how many on here saying it's degrading blah blah blah would turn down the Australian Firefighters with Kittens Calendar ?
😂

ThePear · 18/12/2022 17:25

You thought your boyfriend would like having naked photos of men in his community on the bedroom wall?😄

ThePear · 18/12/2022 17:29

(I mean, fair enough if he’s bisexual)

Nancydrawn · 18/12/2022 17:33

It's very odd that your son thinks he can tell you what to do. Why does he have a voice in this?

Onnabugeisha · 18/12/2022 17:35

Yuck. I’d have donated the money and refused the calendar to make the point that these naked charity calendars are tacky, outdated and objectify men or women.

Id rather they make a charity calendar using the Rugby players’ pets tbh. Or action shots from games.

BeanieTeen · 18/12/2022 17:38

I wonder how many on here saying it's degrading blah blah blah would turn down the Australian Firefighters with Kittens Calendar ?
😂

I would. Stereo-typing massively here I’m sure, but I’m just going to go ahead… I can see my two very camp gay friend loving this image, my heterosexual female friends less so. Straight male friends, maybe as a joke. But none of them would have it on their bedroom wall for sure. Do grown ups hang calendars in their bedrooms?

Travis1 · 18/12/2022 17:42

Absolutely buckled at the outrage from
some. Jesus unclench 😂

Crazykatie · 18/12/2022 17:43

OH brought a naked charity calendar home last year, it was a group of middle aged ladies that had recovered from cancer, it was lovely and done with good taste.

rwalker · 18/12/2022 17:43

Curtaincall1 · 18/12/2022 15:08

Regarding the calendar it’s cheeky but not full nudity, it’s all attractive men but it’s not full nudity. I thought it wouldn’t be an issue but apparently not.

Please please go with other suggestion of drawing shorts on them