My boyfriend quit his job ...im paying for everything aibu?

[navywallstays]

My boyfriend who I live with quit his job over a month ago,he was having issues with higher management.
Over a month later and no sniff of a job.
He has zero money and I mean not even 50p
I pay the rent -the bills -food etc
His dad lives 5 hours away and is going home for two nights for a funeral.
He refuses to ask his dad for money (his dad has a lot of money ).
He is going home for his aunts funeral and said it's inappropriate.
I have told him I'm struggling with all the rent /bills etc
He has no car now as he can't afford to get it fixed.
It's my birthday Christmas Eve and he's already told me he doesn't have a car.
I have him the money to buy my Christmas present and he has said he will give me it back when he gets a job.
Surely he should ask his dad for some money?
I bought his coach tickets home too

I will get nothing for my birthday /no meal out or even a Christmas drink

Aibu ?

Does he have a plan? Or is the plan just to sponge off you? Dump now! Don't waste time with this loser

How old is he, if he has zero savings and quits a job.

I would suggest he stays with his parents if he refuses to claim benefits. Would you be entitled to benefits if he is not with you?

Change the locks whilst he’s away

you have yourself a cocklodger

Get rid of him.

Parasite.

Get rid. He doesn't respect you. Tell him to take his things when he goes back for the funeral.

Totally.

I've been there - wouldn't do it again. Get rid.

He’s a cocklodger. Tell him not to come back from the funeral and get rid of him. Think of it as his Christmas present to you.

I posted before about him
He had his own flat
He wanted to move in I wasn't ready
He stopped paying rent and got evicted and moved in -said he couldn't afford rent
Then he bought two cats and I'm now feeding them
I bought his ticket home not his dad

If he'd been made redundant then that's one thing. But he quit without something lined up.

Did he discuss it with you first? Did you say you'd support him (but not imagine it would actually happen)?

If he just quit then told you, or you told him to get lined something up first, then I'm sorry but at the least you need "to take a break". Totally not on.

No he just quit and said he would find something new

He needs to get a temp job - supermarkets and hospitality is crying out for staff this time of year.

He needs to sign on for UC and get an advance.

He needs to phone his dad and explain that he has zero cash and is ther any chance off a loan.

He should not ask for money during a funeral family gathering.

He needs to make you a birthday present or go to the wood and pick plants to make you a nice xmas wreath or give you a one hr foot rub / head massage or do something.

He needs to go back and time and be man enough to not quit one job until he’s got another one lined up. What did he think he was doing?! We’ve all had shit jobs, we didn’t all storm out of them.

Is he having a mental health breakdown?

Good god, Just dump him. He is taking the piss because he knows he can.

Did you want the cats?

Nope I didn't want any pets at first but now I do love them.
I'm also now paying pet insurance for them too

He's only going to get worse cause you allow it. This guy will take and take

OP you were WARNED about him on your previous thread - I remember it. Sadly he is proving everyone right.
Get him out and he can take the cats too if you didn't want them.

You can still stop this - don't let him back in and dump his arse - he is a user FGS bin him

I feel sorry for you. I can't stand men like that. If he can't afford to buy you a birthday card then he could make you a card. I'm sure he can find a pen and paper around the house. You lending him money to buy you a gift is ridiculous. It will make him feel better about himself, pretending in his head that his bought you something but ultimately you've bought it for yourself. You would of been better off keeping your money.
i think you need to get rid of him or give him a deadline for him to find a job.

It is extremely weird that he bought cats he can’t afford to feed, that says to me he’s trying to make it emotionally harder for you to chuck him out. Emotional blackmail :( red flags all over this.

Would you consider ending it with him OP? Seem to me that:

• he wanted to live with you (intending for you to pay for everything), but you said no
• he quit his job on purpose so he would have an excuse to move in with you.
• he hasn’t been evicted, it takes like a year to formally evict someone for none payment of rent and there is a huge backlog in the courts, so I think he’s lying to you
• his refusal to claim benefits makes no sense and I’m not sure I believe him

This is all very concerning, I don’t see you groing happily old with him, the only question is: how much money will he get out of you before you end it?

I’d suggest you break up and tell him he has to move in with his parents.

you seem to be living in a fantasy world.
what can we say.
it's obvious to everyone, except you, that you should not have allowed him to move in.
it's equally obvious that you should not accept him back. let him stay with his rich father.
or whatever.
but you seem to prefer to have something to complain about, dwelling on irrelevant details, rather than simply take decisive action to remedy the situation.
i know it might sound harsh, but what's the point of asking the same things, getting the same answers, and carrying on the same way.

God you must be absolutely desparate for a man.

Consider this a huge lesson learned to follow your gut and push back harder when the signs came earlier. On the positive side, he is just a boyfriend and not a husband or heaven forbid a father to your baby and you’re forever connected to this cocklodger. He must think you’re a huge pushover who is going to look after him. You must feel more like his mother than a partner with his behaviour and lack of responsibility.

Is he actually on the lease? Change the locks and tell him he no longer lives there. He can pick up things later. Or send them on. You were right you weren’t ready for him to move in. You deserve so much better.

What do you expect people to say?

You were told last time that he was a loser and you should get rid.

You didn’t, and now you’re in an even worse situation.

You’re a martyr because you’re putting up with this when it’s a very, very easy situation to get out of.

You were warned

Is he away now ?

just text him and say he is not welcome and needs to stay with his parents.

he will never be an equal partner and will be a cocklodger forever.

keepthe cats, ditch the man

OP you know this is a form of financial abuse? I’ve just left a man like him. I’m thousands of pounds in debt, legally bankrupt and absolutely skint. I’ve sold my possessions, pawned just about everything I could. Don’t be a me. Get rid x