There is a book and also a set of cards for the system called Fair Play, this is where couples can see what tasks there are to run a house and you divide up the tasks fairly between you What you decide is fair is up to the both of you. There are 60 cards for couples, 40 additional cards if you have children. There are several videos on YouTube of people reviewing it. I am fortunate that my MIL raised an incredible son (not FIL, he was a typical I work therefore that is my entire contribution, never changed a nappy and proud of it type of chap, which is why I say MIL) so Dh has always cooked, cleaned, shopped and been full hands on with the children, now mid-late teens.
However, weaponised incompetence is a thing and it isn't just related to house stuff. It extends to children, ie you can't possibly have an evening out because he won't stick to the bedtime routine, you worry that he can't put a nappy on effectively, you have to leave a list of times to feed his child etc etc.
There was a great instagram story where a woman had bought tiny middle finger hands ie a fuck you hand and every time she saw something in the house where her partner had left his dirty clothes on the bedroom floor, she left a little hand, or his plate on the work top instead of in the unpacked dishwasher, another little fuck you hand. No nagging just demonstrating he lack of care toward his partner. Nagging occurs because our expectations are not met. We expect to have an equal partner, we want them to share in the domestic crap. We nag because we don't want overflowing bins etc.
I am going to bet my house that your husband isn't incompetent at work. Doesn't need a list of tasks from his boss telling him what he should be doing on a day to day basis, does everything expected of him? Never has to have disciplinary meetings over incomplete work. Funny how it only happens when he is at home isn't it?