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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that 40s is not 'middle aged'

231 replies

Beancounter1 · 15/12/2022 19:25

Here is how my scheme goes:

0-10 childhood
10-19 older childhood and teens
20-29 young adult
30 to 49 - two decades of 'prime' adulthood
50-59 middle aged
60-69 getting older
70-79 old
80+ bonus time

Do you disagree?

OP posts:
FlorettaB · 15/12/2022 21:16

18-25 Young Adult
26-39 Adult
40-55 middle aged
55-70 old
70+ elderly

Scotty12 · 15/12/2022 21:19

SheWoreYellow · 15/12/2022 19:38

I’d say

20-45 young
45-65 middle aged
65-79 older
80+ elderly

How can 45-65 be middle aged? If this age is the middle of your life, most people would live until they are 90 to 130.

FTY765 · 15/12/2022 21:22

if the average life expectancy is around 81 (averaged for males and females), then surely late around 36-44 is middle aged!

MumUndone · 15/12/2022 21:22

Beancounter1 · 15/12/2022 19:25

Here is how my scheme goes:

0-10 childhood
10-19 older childhood and teens
20-29 young adult
30 to 49 - two decades of 'prime' adulthood
50-59 middle aged
60-69 getting older
70-79 old
80+ bonus time

Do you disagree?

I like your scheme.

Original poster
Beancounter1 · 15/12/2022 21:22

FlorettaB · 15/12/2022 21:16

18-25 Young Adult
26-39 Adult
40-55 middle aged
55-70 old
70+ elderly

I cannot agree that you are 'old' at age 55. This 55 to 70 band needs to be split in two.

OP posts:
Vallmo47 · 15/12/2022 21:22

I don’t understand the need for these definitions really - it’s all relative. I thought my mum was Middle aged in her 40’s but she died shortly after her 60th birthday. Some people don’t even get that far. 😢 I found out I can go lane swimming with the seniors the day after I turn 50- that kind of shocked me. I wish everyone would stop with the labels and just put a lower and upper age limit (if necessary). For me a senior is of retirement age- I’d love that to be 50 but it’s clearly not!

Subtlety1985 · 15/12/2022 21:24

Beancounter1 · 15/12/2022 19:25

Here is how my scheme goes:

0-10 childhood
10-19 older childhood and teens
20-29 young adult
30 to 49 - two decades of 'prime' adulthood
50-59 middle aged
60-69 getting older
70-79 old
80+ bonus time

Do you disagree?

Totally wrong, sorry OP 😆

40’s is definitely middle aged, in my opinion.

Choobyscoopy · 15/12/2022 21:24

If 50-59 is your middle age, how long you plan to live for? 100-118 😅

TiaraBoo · 15/12/2022 21:24

18-21 young adult
22-40 adult prime time
40-50 middle age prime time
50-60 mature fine wine @lurchermummy
60-70 still maturing
70-80 can you over mature?
80-100 hanging in there to prove you weren’t middle aged at 40!

Crunched · 15/12/2022 21:27

FlorettaB do you really think J K Rowling (57) or David Guetta (55) are old?
I just don't, and I have just asked a 20 year old their opinion which was 'Not that old'.
Mmmmm, maybe that means they agree with me!

Choobyscoopy · 15/12/2022 21:28

Oh, and im in my 40s. Totally middle-aged

user1490399186 · 15/12/2022 21:28

Remember, regardless of age, one can die at anytime. Just look after yourself and live life to the full

Whatifthegrassisblue · 15/12/2022 21:29

I'm 42 in Feb. I feel OLD. Definitely downhill after 40!

FTY765 · 15/12/2022 21:30

Octo5 · 15/12/2022 21:00

It’s mad to think that middle aged used to be about 15.

I don't think it did.
The life expectancy in times past was massively skewed by infant, child and maternal mortality, as well as things like war.

FlorettaB · 15/12/2022 21:30

I feel pretty old now at 44! It’s not a judgement it’s a fact. By 55 our bodies are old. It’s the time that, for those of use who have been lucky enough to enjoy good health, age related conditions start to appear.

I enjoy being older. I don’t find it a negative experience so far. I like myself more and worry less about pleasing others.

Namechangeforthe · 15/12/2022 21:30

<40 - whippersnappers
40-60 prime middle aged
60-70 Mature
70-80 Wise ones
80+ Ancient wise ones

honeylulu · 15/12/2022 21:32

I'm afraid it is. Middle aged by its very definition is the mid point of your life. So if you expect to live to mid 80s middle age is early 40s at the latest.

I tried to deny this. I've always felt young for my age but my tactless teenage son spelt out the above. I gave in on my 45th birthday and posted a (bikini) pic entitled "half way to 90, whoop!"

Scooopsahoy · 15/12/2022 21:32

The issue seems to be that some people are perfectly happy to use ‘middle age’ as a purely descriptive term. I’m one of them - I’m early forties and as female life expectancy is around 80 I’m halfway through that. Therefore I’m middle aged. It’s not rocket science.

But there seem to be other people who see ‘middle aged’ as a subjective term, with negative connotations. And who always try to argue that middle age begins at their current age plus 5 years or similar!

Peakypolly · 15/12/2022 21:32

This 55 to 70 band needs to be split in two
I also think this splitting should apply to the Baby Boomer generation, 58 to 76 years. The experience of women particularly aged 76 is very different to that of a woman of 58.

Original poster
Beancounter1 · 15/12/2022 21:35

TiaraBoo · 15/12/2022 21:24

18-21 young adult
22-40 adult prime time
40-50 middle age prime time
50-60 mature fine wine @lurchermummy
60-70 still maturing
70-80 can you over mature?
80-100 hanging in there to prove you weren’t middle aged at 40!

😂😂😂

But a 22 year old is definitely not in the same bracket as a 40 year old. I would split this category at 30.

22-29 not yet fully fermented
30-40 great for everyday, not old enough for special treatment

OP posts:
anythinginapinch · 15/12/2022 21:36

I'm late 50s and, finally, feel middle aged

angharadsgoat · 15/12/2022 21:36

Scooopsahoy · 15/12/2022 21:32

The issue seems to be that some people are perfectly happy to use ‘middle age’ as a purely descriptive term. I’m one of them - I’m early forties and as female life expectancy is around 80 I’m halfway through that. Therefore I’m middle aged. It’s not rocket science.

But there seem to be other people who see ‘middle aged’ as a subjective term, with negative connotations. And who always try to argue that middle age begins at their current age plus 5 years or similar!

Yes, that's how I feel, that it is a descriptive term and a label I wouldn't particularly mind.

Though to some, as your second paragraph, and I touched upon with my own post, the term has negative connotations.

Original poster
Beancounter1 · 15/12/2022 21:37

Crunched · 15/12/2022 21:27

FlorettaB do you really think J K Rowling (57) or David Guetta (55) are old?
I just don't, and I have just asked a 20 year old their opinion which was 'Not that old'.
Mmmmm, maybe that means they agree with me!

Yes! 'Not that old' - the perfect description for the 55 -69 band.

OP posts:
Stravaig · 15/12/2022 21:43

I'd say 14 to 18 (with possible extension to 21) counts as young adulthood, a sort of training wheel phase. Some parents fail to prepare this cohort, and are still babying them well into their 20's.🤷‍♀️

After 18 (or 21) you're just a plain old grown up, with all the rights and responsibilities that go with it.

Middle age starts at 40. Unless you're in denial ofc.

People start noticeably dying from their 50's onwards.

Luckyducker · 15/12/2022 21:48

Nobody in my family has ever made it anywhere close to 80 or even 70 so imo 40s is definitely middle aged.

People don't tend to make it to their 100s as a rule so you have to be middle aged before your 50s.