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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that 40s is not 'middle aged'

231 replies

Beancounter1 · 15/12/2022 19:25

Here is how my scheme goes:

0-10 childhood
10-19 older childhood and teens
20-29 young adult
30 to 49 - two decades of 'prime' adulthood
50-59 middle aged
60-69 getting older
70-79 old
80+ bonus time

Do you disagree?

OP posts:
OriginalUsername2 · 15/12/2022 22:34

Doesn’t middle age refer to a demographic rather than a certain number? People who are in the middle bit of life between their adult children leaving home and getting old themselves?

Getoff · 15/12/2022 22:37

Beancounter1 · 15/12/2022 22:19

Using your same logic about surfing and playing in bands <30 is 'young', not yet in the full throes of prime adulthood.
30 to 50 is prime adulthood.
I agree 50 (or perhaps 45) is a turning point, but it is the turn into middle age, not out of middle age into 'older'.

You have invented "prime adulthood" as a concept so you can postpone middle-age. Middle-age is prime adult-hood. It's when you do your child-rasing, it's the bulk/middle of your career.

KaleToChristmas · 15/12/2022 22:40

I am 42 and like the idea of being middle-aged. Not in the sense of what we tend to mean by 'middle age', with all its negative connotations, but being old enough to have experience under my belt and young enough to feel there is plenty of time to pursue new opportunities and grow. I remember about 5 years ago starting to feel simultaneously young and old, instead of just young like I always had. Makes me feel like I have more to offer than I used to.

Getoff · 15/12/2022 22:41

The are three major aqges, young, middle and old.

Young: 0 - 30
Middle: 30-50
Old: 50+

Of course these have lots of subdivisions, 5 is not the same as 25, 55 is not the same as 85. My point is merely that linguistially, middle means between young and old.

louderthan · 15/12/2022 22:42

I'm 41. I definitely don't feel middle aged. I feel great.

Apollonia1 · 15/12/2022 22:44

I'd describe middle aged as those between about 50-65.

shinynewapple22 · 15/12/2022 22:45

@PurpleButterflyWings 'older adults' is actually a term used by a local community NHS service . They have an Older Adults Team letter heading .

fantasmasgoria1 · 15/12/2022 22:48

I think it is not just about your actual age but a number of other factors. How old you feel mentally, how you outwardly present etc

SheWoreYellow · 15/12/2022 22:48

PurpleButterflyWings · 15/12/2022 21:01

45 -YOUNG? And 65 - middle aged?! 😂

And 65-79 is 'older' WTF is 'older?' Confused

Excuse me? No need for the WTF.

There was an ‘older lady’. That’s not hard.

And ‘young’ being up to 45 - compared to 45-80+ then early 40s is still young. For an adult.

It’s all just opinions though, that’s the whole conversation.

pompei8309 · 15/12/2022 22:52

Beancounter1 · 15/12/2022 19:25

Here is how my scheme goes:

0-10 childhood
10-19 older childhood and teens
20-29 young adult
30 to 49 - two decades of 'prime' adulthood
50-59 middle aged
60-69 getting older
70-79 old
80+ bonus time

Do you disagree?

Considering the average life expectancy in uk is around 82, 40 is kind of in the middle

704703hey · 15/12/2022 22:55

It's young middle aged.

shinynewapple22 · 15/12/2022 22:56

@Itsoktogiveup very few people look the best they ever will at age 17.

Scooopsahoy · 15/12/2022 22:57

louderthan · 15/12/2022 22:42

I'm 41. I definitely don't feel middle aged. I feel great.

But they aren’t mutually exclusive. You can be 41. You can feel great. You can be middle aged. All at the same time!

Why in your mind is in not possible to be both middle aged and to feel great?

makingarunforit · 15/12/2022 22:58

I'm not sure 80+ is bonus time.

Do you know many people of that age?

Beancounter1 · 15/12/2022 22:59

Getoff · 15/12/2022 22:37

You have invented "prime adulthood" as a concept so you can postpone middle-age. Middle-age is prime adult-hood. It's when you do your child-rasing, it's the bulk/middle of your career.

Have you not heard the phrase 'in the prime of your life'? I am sure it is not the same thing as middle aged.

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 15/12/2022 23:04

Im 60 with a kid still in school so I'd say I'm still middle age. Of course if you are technical about it 4-44 is the actual middle age. I'd say 45-65 is middle now.

5128gap · 15/12/2022 23:13

0-18: new
18-30: contemporary
30-50: Retro
50+: Vintage
100+: Antique

angharadsgoat · 15/12/2022 23:17

5128gap · 15/12/2022 23:13

0-18: new
18-30: contemporary
30-50: Retro
50+: Vintage
100+: Antique

Love this!

Getoff · 15/12/2022 23:19

Beancounter1 · 15/12/2022 22:59

Have you not heard the phrase 'in the prime of your life'? I am sure it is not the same thing as middle aged.

What Prime means is irrelevant, it's not one of the basic age descriptors. The most basic are "young" and "old", and if you want to have three, you put "middle" between them. Somone who is not "young" or "old" is middle-aged.

Cas112 · 15/12/2022 23:21

I think it's middle aged. Most people only live to 70s, 80s at about. 40s are definitely in the middle 😂

PurpleButterflyWings · 15/12/2022 23:25

mondaytosunday · 15/12/2022 23:04

Im 60 with a kid still in school so I'd say I'm still middle age. Of course if you are technical about it 4-44 is the actual middle age. I'd say 45-65 is middle now.

WTAF have I just read? 😂 How the F is 4 middle aged? Maybe for a rabbit! 😂

Still 'having a kid in school at 60' doesn't make you any less 60. And you're 10 years past middle age. AGAIN, what is wrong with this? Why such stark denial?

Ageing is natural, it is nothing to be ashamed of, and it's a privilege denied to many. So why are people so uptight about ageing, and admitting what they are? Confused

I am in my mid 50s and am quite happy to call myself a senior. Because that's what I am.

kingtamponthefurred · 15/12/2022 23:33

You can fool yourself if you like, but it won't buy you a single extra day of life.

pimlicoanna · 15/12/2022 23:45

Haha the clue is in the name! Of course it is middle aged Smile

TrickorTreacle · 15/12/2022 23:54

@Beancounter1 I disagree with you, but I liked your opening post with the different age ranges, including 80+ as being bonus time!

I would go as follows:

0-12 childhood
13-19 teenager and adolescent
20-39 young adult
40-64 middle aged
65+ older adults

In NHS / clinical settings and letters that we send out to patients, we refer to anyone aged 20-39 as young adults, 65+ as older adults, so the bit in the middle (40-64) would be middle aged. So that is my reasoning in these age ranges.

PurpleButterflyWings · 16/12/2022 00:02

How on EARTH can 64 be middle aged? Confused No-one lives to 128! It makes no sense!!! 60 isn't either and neither is 55. Someone of 50 COULD just about get away with saying they are middle aged. But only for a year or two, and then they're a senior.