Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BFs farting

138 replies

trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 05:21

AIBU to be so out of BF because of his farting?

We've been together 6 years and have 2 toddlers. I love him in every other way but his constant farting literally makes my stomach twist in a knot with rage.

He knows I hate it but he doesn't seem to care or try to do anything to stop. I've suggested he goes to the GP incase he's lactose intolerant or something but never does.

Last night I ended up coming out to sleep on the sofa because he kept farting real wet ones and wouldn't stop despite me asking.

It really turns me off him.

OP posts:
starrynight21 · 15/12/2022 05:24

Has he been doing this for 6 years ?

Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 05:28

On and off really. I found it gross but didn't get too worked up about it but now i just cant stand it.

OP posts:
MummyShah369 · 15/12/2022 05:39

Some one needs to clear the wind what a smelly problem to have

Blowyourowntrumpet · 15/12/2022 05:43

Buy him some charcoal tablets. I got some from Amazon for my DH. Problem solved

NessieMcNessface · 15/12/2022 05:43

i just couldn’t live with this; it’s so disrespectful. If he had a genuine medical issue it might be different but even then, it wouldn’t excuse his totally uncaring attitude towards you. If he loved you he would try to modify his behaviour but that doesn’t seem to be a likely scenario. He knows he upsetting you but isn’t bothered about it which indicates he’s exercising power play and control. You’ve asked him to modify his gross behaviour and he is deliberately continuing to do it, showing you who’s boss and putting you in your place. Therefore it would be ultimatum time for me. I take it he doesn’t do this at work, or in front of other people; it’s a behaviour he keeps just for you.

Whatifthegrassisblue · 15/12/2022 05:49

NessieMcNessface · 15/12/2022 05:43

i just couldn’t live with this; it’s so disrespectful. If he had a genuine medical issue it might be different but even then, it wouldn’t excuse his totally uncaring attitude towards you. If he loved you he would try to modify his behaviour but that doesn’t seem to be a likely scenario. He knows he upsetting you but isn’t bothered about it which indicates he’s exercising power play and control. You’ve asked him to modify his gross behaviour and he is deliberately continuing to do it, showing you who’s boss and putting you in your place. Therefore it would be ultimatum time for me. I take it he doesn’t do this at work, or in front of other people; it’s a behaviour he keeps just for you.

Totally this

EricNorthmanYesPlease · 15/12/2022 05:54

I used to have this problem with an ex. It boiled my blood.
It didn't happen for the first 2 years, but then became regular. I HATED it.
We also have a downstairs toilet, and like clockwork every morning he would go in for a morning shit, but leave the door open afterwards. The smell was so vile.

Hence why hes an ex

Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 05:55

NessieMcNessface · 15/12/2022 05:43

i just couldn’t live with this; it’s so disrespectful. If he had a genuine medical issue it might be different but even then, it wouldn’t excuse his totally uncaring attitude towards you. If he loved you he would try to modify his behaviour but that doesn’t seem to be a likely scenario. He knows he upsetting you but isn’t bothered about it which indicates he’s exercising power play and control. You’ve asked him to modify his gross behaviour and he is deliberately continuing to do it, showing you who’s boss and putting you in your place. Therefore it would be ultimatum time for me. I take it he doesn’t do this at work, or in front of other people; it’s a behaviour he keeps just for you.

It's exactly this!

We've been having difficulties anyway as we have 2 young kids with no help from family etc so it's just us. It's really taken a toll as we've had no quality time together, we're exhausted and it's just one thing after the other at the moment.

We had a good chat and aired our frustrations and moved on and agreed we need to treat each-other better than we had been recently.

I just think if he actually cared he'd at least try and stop, he won't even rule out if it's medical. He will stop for a week or so then it's back to this until I lose my shiit.

OP posts:
Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 05:56

Blowyourowntrumpet · 15/12/2022 05:43

Buy him some charcoal tablets. I got some from Amazon for my DH. Problem solved

Will try this, thank you 🙏

OP posts:
My2pence2day · 15/12/2022 05:59

YANBU. I don't know how you'd be able to have set with or even respect someone who was so repulsive. It different if it was a medical condition and he couldn't help it, but it just sounds like he's a disgusting, disrespectful pig 🤮

Hooverphobe · 15/12/2022 06:06

If the charcoal tabs render him unable to fart, his disdain will come out in another manner.

Safferssnow · 15/12/2022 06:33

Sorry OP but you saying ‘real wet ones’ has me in fits of laughter

C1N1C · 15/12/2022 06:46

Ah the stages of man. First they hold it in to give you a false sense if security. Then they let them out once settled. Then they push them out on purpose when they see it annoys you because it's funny.

It would piss me off too, but if five minutes of a bad smell is the worst thing you can say about your partner, you're doing ok :).

CurlewKate · 15/12/2022 06:48

There are lots of ways men can be abusive. This is one of them. I would put good money on it not being the only way.

Do you want your DS to grow up thinking this is OK behaviour?

MolliciousIntent · 15/12/2022 06:51

CurlewKate · 15/12/2022 06:48

There are lots of ways men can be abusive. This is one of them. I would put good money on it not being the only way.

Do you want your DS to grow up thinking this is OK behaviour?

Farting is not abuse.

CurlewKate · 15/12/2022 07:24

Treating your partner with complete contempt is abusive. This man is modelling to his children what relationships are like. They will grow up thinking this is OK. It isn't. He is persistently doing something he knows his partner finds unpleasant, and which he is perfectly capable of controlling in other circumstances. It's abusive.

PepsiMaxAholic · 15/12/2022 07:31

Did I just read that farting is abuse? 🤔

This wouldn't bother me in the slightest. DH is always farting, we find them funny.

Are you wanting him to go to the toilet each time he needs to fart?

CurlewKate · 15/12/2022 07:38

No you didn't. You read that persistently and deliberately doing something that your partner finds gross and which you can control in other circumstances is abusive. You think it's funny. The OP doesn't. (do you really still find it funny 6 years down the line? Fair enough.)

dolor · 15/12/2022 07:44

Everyone farts, people need to get over it.

Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 07:44

C1N1C · 15/12/2022 06:46

Ah the stages of man. First they hold it in to give you a false sense if security. Then they let them out once settled. Then they push them out on purpose when they see it annoys you because it's funny.

It would piss me off too, but if five minutes of a bad smell is the worst thing you can say about your partner, you're doing ok :).

I know and they don't really smell, I'm genuinely lucky in all other ways and it's such a small thing but god it irks me

OP posts:
PepsiMaxAholic · 15/12/2022 07:45

CurlewKate · 15/12/2022 07:38

No you didn't. You read that persistently and deliberately doing something that your partner finds gross and which you can control in other circumstances is abusive. You think it's funny. The OP doesn't. (do you really still find it funny 6 years down the line? Fair enough.)

I understand the OP doesn't find it funny but he surely can't be expected to sit on the toilet all day?

Yes we still find it funny 9 years on but that's just us.

Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 07:48

Haha this has escalated a bit (as standard on MN)

I don't expect him to sit on the toilet to go and fart, but why does he only do it in-front of me? He doesn't do it at work. I don't find it funny.

I'm not a prude either, I have a stoma so we are very open with bodily functions.

OP posts:
Ladyof2022 · 15/12/2022 07:49

Tell him if he does it again, no more BJ.

Then no nookie of any sort.

hattie43 · 15/12/2022 07:54

No I couldn't stay with someone who thought it ok to do this . It's totally disrespectful and he's not even trying to stop .

DrManhattan · 15/12/2022 08:02

Gross, what a turn off.
Most people grow out of farts being funny, he's just being disrespectful

Swipe left for the next trending thread