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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BFs farting

138 replies

trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 05:21

AIBU to be so out of BF because of his farting?

We've been together 6 years and have 2 toddlers. I love him in every other way but his constant farting literally makes my stomach twist in a knot with rage.

He knows I hate it but he doesn't seem to care or try to do anything to stop. I've suggested he goes to the GP incase he's lactose intolerant or something but never does.

Last night I ended up coming out to sleep on the sofa because he kept farting real wet ones and wouldn't stop despite me asking.

It really turns me off him.

OP posts:
Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 18:15

1994girl · 15/12/2022 17:53

My partner of 5 years does it for only me too. So what?

I find it really annoying...that's what.

OP posts:
Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 18:16

Dorsetdingle77 · 15/12/2022 17:56

God help any of you if you develop crohns disease or ulcerative colitis.

Farting is not abuse. I've never read anything so absurd in my life.

I don't fart in front of anyone outside my own home but by the evening I'm ready to pop. I would have to spend the whole night in the bathroom if DH had the same attitude a OP.

I do have UC hence why I have a stoma.

OP posts:
Chikapu · 15/12/2022 18:18

Real wet ones? So he was shitting himself as well? How sexy.

Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 18:22

Chikapu · 15/12/2022 18:18

Real wet ones? So he was shitting himself as well? How sexy.

Maybe this is why he's done a load of washing today...

OP posts:
Bepis · 15/12/2022 18:29

Pothoswithasparkle · 15/12/2022 17:48

Aha. The beer farts. Yup.
Fibre and probiotics before and after are a saviour.

Maybe suggest this OP ^^

Do you think he would be willing to try something to help the situation?

Dorsetdingle77 · 15/12/2022 18:35

trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 18:16

I do have UC hence why I have a stoma.

Show quote history

Wow, you have UC and you get the ick from your DH farting? You are being VERY unreasonable.

I have crohns disease. My DH has loved me through every horrible symptom of this condition, he's never made me feel any less because of it. I fart, frequently, I have diarrhea frequently, I'm sick a lot, I'm incontinent at times. He's met every challenge with love and humour.

I can't believe someone who has personal experience of a very similar condition could have any issue with their partner breaking wind. Poor bloke. It's a fart. Get over it. Some people fart more than others, whether someone has an official diagnosis or not they just do.

Tell me, has he been supportive of you when you've had difficulties with your UC?

Pondere · 15/12/2022 18:37

Dorsetdingle77 · 15/12/2022 18:35

Wow, you have UC and you get the ick from your DH farting? You are being VERY unreasonable.

I have crohns disease. My DH has loved me through every horrible symptom of this condition, he's never made me feel any less because of it. I fart, frequently, I have diarrhea frequently, I'm sick a lot, I'm incontinent at times. He's met every challenge with love and humour.

I can't believe someone who has personal experience of a very similar condition could have any issue with their partner breaking wind. Poor bloke. It's a fart. Get over it. Some people fart more than others, whether someone has an official diagnosis or not they just do.

Tell me, has he been supportive of you when you've had difficulties with your UC?

Show quote history

It’s about respect for your spouse. If they’ve asked you not to do something that grosses you out, something you can control, then it’s really disrespectful to have the FU I’m going to fart in front of you regardless.

It’s not hard to get up and go to another room briefly, and I say that as someone who suffers from incontinence so don’t have good control, yet I still manage.

Pothoswithasparkle · 15/12/2022 18:40

Brutally if my spouse asked me to get up for every fart they would be ex spouse.

Dorsetdingle77 · 15/12/2022 18:43

Pondere · 15/12/2022 18:37

It’s about respect for your spouse. If they’ve asked you not to do something that grosses you out, something you can control, then it’s really disrespectful to have the FU I’m going to fart in front of you regardless.

It’s not hard to get up and go to another room briefly, and I say that as someone who suffers from incontinence so don’t have good control, yet I still manage.

Show quote history

No it's not, it's an unreasonable expectation. The need to break wind can't be helped. You shouldn't make someone feel uncomfortable for a bodily function in their own home especially when you understand the struggles yourself.

Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 19:00

Are you mad?

Having an illness is very different to farting on purpose when they know it annoys you.

OP posts:
Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 19:02

Pothoswithasparkle · 15/12/2022 18:40

Brutally if my spouse asked me to get up for every fart they would be ex spouse.

This isn't what's being expected but thanks for your input

OP posts:
gjkufbb · 15/12/2022 19:06

I just made a post about constantly hearing my neighbour farting through the walls. We aren't neighbours are we 😂
This would drive me mad too OP! don't listen to the MN warriors

EmmaDilemma5 · 15/12/2022 19:07

Does he realise that most women would find this repulsive?

It's sad he doesn't care what you think. Time for a rethink, I think.

Dorsetdingle77 · 15/12/2022 19:10

trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 19:00

Are you mad?

Having an illness is very different to farting on purpose when they know it annoys you.

No I'm not mad thankyou.

My point is that YOU are being unreasonable to place these expectations on your DH when you must know that so many people out there with IBD struggle massively with excessive wind. We should all be able to fart freely in our own homes!

I would be back and too to the toilet all evening if I wasn't 'allowed' to fart in front of DH.

As I asked previously, has your DH been supportive of your UC? Has he ever suggested that any of your symptoms give him the ick?

Would you be supportive of your DH if he got a diagnosis of excessive flatulence from his GP? Would that make a difference?

Pothoswithasparkle · 15/12/2022 19:12

trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 19:02

This isn't what's being expected but thanks for your input

Show quote history

I wasn't answering you, but another poster. I see quote didn't go in

Dorsetdingle77 · 15/12/2022 19:15

EmmaDilemma5 · 15/12/2022 19:07

Does he realise that most women would find this repulsive?

It's sad he doesn't care what you think. Time for a rethink, I think.

The double standards on this thread are phenomenal! So farting excessively, shitting yourself, passing blood, farting mucus, bloating, rectal ulcers is quite rightly no issue in a marriage because it has a diagnosis.

Farting without a diagnosis is repulsive.

Righto.

Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 19:17

gjkufbb · 15/12/2022 19:06

I just made a post about constantly hearing my neighbour farting through the walls. We aren't neighbours are we 😂
This would drive me mad too OP! don't listen to the MN warriors

Haha it could be 😂 they are rippers!

OP posts:
EmmaDilemma5 · 15/12/2022 19:18

Dorsetdingle77 · 15/12/2022 18:43

No it's not, it's an unreasonable expectation. The need to break wind can't be helped. You shouldn't make someone feel uncomfortable for a bodily function in their own home especially when you understand the struggles yourself.

Show quote history

Newsflash, you're not the only person who farts. EVERYONE farts.

I fart. But I certainly don't fart in bed multiple times with no consideration to my partner. I'll either go to the bathroom or I would leave the room.

You talk as though everyone farts every 2 minutes uncontrollably. Unless people have an illness or muscle control issue, people absolutely can hold in farts while they walk to the toilet.

Stop making excuses for OPs lazy, smelly, disrespectful partner.

Bepis · 15/12/2022 19:18

EmmaDilemma5 · 15/12/2022 19:07

Does he realise that most women would find this repulsive?

It's sad he doesn't care what you think. Time for a rethink, I think.

Not all women are that fussed by it. Each to their own. It doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Growlybear83 · 15/12/2022 19:19

Can't you just try to out do him and fart back?

EmmaDilemma5 · 15/12/2022 19:20

Bepis · 15/12/2022 19:18

Not all women are that fussed by it. Each to their own. It doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Show quote history

You wouldn't find someone wet farting next to you repeatedly repulsive?

Fair enough, but I think the average person would.

Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 19:22

Oooh Dorset you're taking this all a bit seriously aren't you.

Of course I understand the symptoms of a condition I have lived through. Maybe luckily for me I could never risk farting because I'd shit myself and spent most of the time in the toilet passing the blood and mucous etc.

Of course he was supportive and I would be of him too if the shoe were on the other foot.

OP posts:
Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 19:23

Growlybear83 · 15/12/2022 19:19

Can't you just try to out do him and fart back?

Sadly I fart in to a stoma bag, maybe I could start burping in his face as a compromise

OP posts:
WishIhadacrystalball · 15/12/2022 19:23

YABU everybody does it and holding it in just gives you a sore stomach. Fair enough you can at least expect him to check if it’s medical. I have Crohn’s disease and often need to fart. If my DH felt the way u did I’d tell him to do one!

HelsyQ · 15/12/2022 19:24

That would be our sex life over.