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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BFs farting

138 replies

trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 05:21

AIBU to be so out of BF because of his farting?

We've been together 6 years and have 2 toddlers. I love him in every other way but his constant farting literally makes my stomach twist in a knot with rage.

He knows I hate it but he doesn't seem to care or try to do anything to stop. I've suggested he goes to the GP incase he's lactose intolerant or something but never does.

Last night I ended up coming out to sleep on the sofa because he kept farting real wet ones and wouldn't stop despite me asking.

It really turns me off him.

OP posts:
10HailMarys · 15/12/2022 13:25

I shit in to a bag, the last thing I am is uppity

If your partner can deal with that, then I'm sure you can deal with him farting?

CurlewKate · 15/12/2022 13:33

Women are trained to put up with a lot of crap (pun intended) - they really are. And this man's son is being shown that it's absolutely fine to be disrespectful to his mother, and to his own future partners.

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 15/12/2022 13:34

Wait till you get proper old - you will be farting too.

Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 15:50

10HailMarys · 15/12/2022 13:25

I shit in to a bag, the last thing I am is uppity

If your partner can deal with that, then I'm sure you can deal with him farting?

Well I don't think he'd die if he didn't fart, not quite the same

OP posts:
Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 15:52

I think the work thing is more about respect. People respect their colleagues enough not to fart in front of them

OP posts:
Bepis · 15/12/2022 16:10

For me personally, not farting in front of other people outside the home is because I would be embarrassed as I'm not that comfortable around those people. In my home, with my family, I feel comfortable and like I can be myself.

Pothoswithasparkle · 15/12/2022 16:28

You also wouldn't have sex with people at work usually... Or walk infront of them in a towel, or swear because printer smelled your fear etc.

IT's simply not comparable to home and partner🙈

Florenz · 15/12/2022 16:38

People should be able to relax at home and that includes farting.

How would you feel if you farted and your partner said it was unattractive and made him not want to have sex with you anymore?

If the farting is extreme, maybe he needs to see a doctor. But normal farting should not cause problems in a relationship.

CurlewKate · 15/12/2022 16:41

Fascinating how people are deliberately misunderstanding the issue here.

xogossipgirlxo · 15/12/2022 16:56

I do get odd day when something doesn't sit well and you're gassy, but him doing it every day and not making any effort is horrible. YANBU. Shows lack of respect.

Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 16:58

Florenz · 15/12/2022 16:38

People should be able to relax at home and that includes farting.

How would you feel if you farted and your partner said it was unattractive and made him not want to have sex with you anymore?

If the farting is extreme, maybe he needs to see a doctor. But normal farting should not cause problems in a relationship.

It's not the odd one and he will keep doing it after I've asked him to stop.

He also won't see a doctor to see if he has an intolerance etc.

It's learnt behaviour because his Nan was a top trumper apparently and his family think it's funny.

OP posts:
RaRaRaspoutine · 15/12/2022 16:59

CurlewKate · 15/12/2022 06:48

There are lots of ways men can be abusive. This is one of them. I would put good money on it not being the only way.

Do you want your DS to grow up thinking this is OK behaviour?

hahahahaha abusive farts. I love mumsnet sometimes.

Bepis · 15/12/2022 17:03

@trampoline123 How often are we talking regarding his farting?

pastypirate · 15/12/2022 17:05

If your partner deliberately and constantly makes himself unattractive to you the relationship is dead surely

twinmum2022 · 15/12/2022 17:25

OP why don't you just leave him then? If you're really not into him anymore because of it and he won't stop I don't see what the other option is?

Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 17:43

Bepis · 15/12/2022 17:03

@trampoline123 How often are we talking regarding his farting?

The odd fart here and there daily which I don't mind.
It's when he's had a few to drink or hungover and he does loads to the point it's like he needs a pooh but too lazy to go so will just fart away regardless of me asking him to stop.

OP posts:
Original poster
trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 17:45

twinmum2022 · 15/12/2022 17:25

OP why don't you just leave him then? If you're really not into him anymore because of it and he won't stop I don't see what the other option is?

Because I don't want to leave him over farts, Christ there's always someone with a comment like this isn't there 🙄

The point of the post was to ask if I'm being unreasonable by this annoying me so much. Not as evidence to leave him but to justify my feelings and if it warrants me to broach it more seriously with him.

OP posts:
QueefQueen80s · 15/12/2022 17:47

Fucking GRIM! So disrespectful.
A womans sexuality and interest in sex is so delicate, and then some men do this.. one of the biggest turn offs.

Pothoswithasparkle · 15/12/2022 17:48

Aha. The beer farts. Yup.
Fibre and probiotics before and after are a saviour.

juice92 · 15/12/2022 17:51

I don't know I'm torn on this. Personally if I need to fart, I need to fart and I don't really see why I should he 'holding it in' in my own home.

However if it really is so vile and you've explained this to him, he should try and find what is causing it, maybe something he is eating? To ease the problem. Failing that he could just leave the room

1994girl · 15/12/2022 17:53

My partner of 5 years does it for only me too. So what?

JustJustWhy · 15/12/2022 17:53

You've got the ick. No way back now.

Bonheurdupasse · 15/12/2022 17:56

trampoline123 · 15/12/2022 15:50

Well I don't think he'd die if he didn't fart, not quite the same

Show quote history

OP

In relation to this - was that always your situation, since before you met him?

Because if not, this - the farting - may be his sick twisted way of telling you he's "not happy" (vile sod) with that.

Apologies, hope I'm completely wrong.

Dorsetdingle77 · 15/12/2022 17:56

God help any of you if you develop crohns disease or ulcerative colitis.

Farting is not abuse. I've never read anything so absurd in my life.

I don't fart in front of anyone outside my own home but by the evening I'm ready to pop. I would have to spend the whole night in the bathroom if DH had the same attitude a OP.

Irridescantshimmmer · 15/12/2022 17:59

He needs more fibre!😁