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AIBU?

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Original poster

I’m not sending Christmas cards this year, I’m donating to charity

160 replies

UseAMuckySock · 13/12/2022 20:30

Why is everyone announcing this on Facebook lately? Are we supposed to tell them how amazing and thoughtful they are?

OP posts:
Luckyducker · 13/12/2022 20:32

Yep, I cannot see how giving to charity is related to whether or not you send christmas cards. I always think 'prick' and scroll on.

CaptainCallisto · 13/12/2022 20:33

People started doing it a few years ago, when most people still sent cards through the post, to let people who would usually expect a card from you know why they hadn't got one this year. Now, when lots of people don't send cards through the post anymore, and it's not so expected, it just comes off as wanky and 'look at me!'...

ohioriver · 13/12/2022 20:35

I do it in memory of my mum to a charity related to what she died of. As I said on the last thread like this, it's a way for me to keep her memory alive. She's further away every year and more and more has happened and she's fading and I miss her so so much. Especially at Christmas. She never knew my partner and I've friends now who never knew her and it always sparks reminiscences and makes me emotional.

I donate the value of what cards and postage would cost.

ohioriver · 13/12/2022 20:35

I've been doing it for 10 years this year.

Luckyducker · 13/12/2022 20:36

People never didn't send christmas cards because they were giving to charity. They didn't send them because they didn't want to.

People have always tried to give to charity at Christmas. Privately.

Allsnotwell · 13/12/2022 20:36

I've been doing it for 10 years this year.

Donating to charity or doing a FB post?

PinkParfait · 13/12/2022 20:37

Didn't know people still sent Christmas cards 😂

Wishawisha · 13/12/2022 20:39

I suppose it’s the announcing bit, but I agree. Cards and stamps is probably what, £30? - I don’t really know what to make of the fact that people are announcing they are donating that amount to charity… like er, ok?

ShirleyPhallus · 13/12/2022 20:40

whispers <I think it’s quite nice>

a friend of mine lost his mum earlier this year, he posted to say he’s not sending the cards as it donating to the hospice his mum was in and put a link in case anyone else wanted to as well

I’d far rather read about people doing nice things than seeing photos of peoples dinner and sponsored posts of people watching people do stuff

as always, if you don’t like it, scroll on by

notanothertakeaway · 13/12/2022 20:40

For most people, it means "I'm happy to receive cards, can't be bothered to write them, I still want to receive presents, and will buy a christmas tree, but if I pretend that I'm giving to charity, then no one will dare challenge me on it"

Greatcheeser · 13/12/2022 20:40

I give money to charity when I feel like it and I rarely send Christmas cards, the two are entirely unrelated.

The people I know who do link the two and like to tell you about it are usually a bit twatty anyway.

ohioriver · 13/12/2022 20:41

And I do give to charity every month privately. I just want to remember my mum publicly and say her name out loud so she isn't really dead just for the 2 seconds it takes someone to read my post

OnlyFannys · 13/12/2022 20:41

It's your basic virtue signalling

EarringsandLipstick · 13/12/2022 20:42

I always think 'prick' and scroll on

😂

ohioriver · 13/12/2022 20:42

I have done the giving to charity in memory of my mum for the last 10 years. This is year 10 as it's 10 years past since she died.

Windbeneathmybingowings · 13/12/2022 20:42

What have cards to do with how charitable you are, it’s virtue signalling, plenty of people give and don’t need the public applause for it.

carefulcalculator · 13/12/2022 20:42

I don't know a) why people find this notable, it has been happening for years or b) get so annoyed they have to start a thread about it.

I send cards, some people donate to charity, I am happy enough to read their update.

I do think there is a little more charity giving this year because it is so completely shit out there.

carefulcalculator · 13/12/2022 20:44

OnlyFannys · 13/12/2022 20:41

It's your basic virtue signalling

I am basically pro virtue signalling, it is better than vice signalling.

DeoForty · 13/12/2022 20:47

I don't get the annoyance. The reality is that buying, writing and posting cards is a bit of a job. People can't be arsed. People worried other people will think they are tight. People say they aren't doing cards but make a point of stating that it isn't because they are tight? Hence 'donating the cash to charity'. No? I don't see it as virtue signalling.

I'm not doing cards because I can't be arsed and also am tight.

LolaSmiles · 13/12/2022 20:49

I don't particularly like the posts, but a lot of people live in a world where if someone doesn't get a card who is expecting one then unless the potential recipient is happy with the reason they haven't received a card then merry hell happens.

panko · 13/12/2022 20:49

Look if it makes people feel better what's wrong with it.

sodabreadjam · 13/12/2022 20:50

I think there is a fresh wave of people in older age groups giving up on sending cards because of the unreliability of Royal Mail at the moment and the cost of postage. I know I winced a bit when I bought a few dozen stamps.

I might join the leavers next year and I would likely use Facebook as one of the ways of letting people know.

WhatAmIDoingWrong123 · 13/12/2022 20:51

My husband has been fundraising this last year for a specific charity. A couple of people have posted on their socials that they are donating to his charity page rather than sending Christmas cards and given the link to his page. It’s resulted in donations to his page from people who’ve seen the links and for me that’s a good thing :-)

maddy68 · 13/12/2022 20:51

It's just telling people that they haven't been forgotten they are just not sending any

HoppyMoppy · 13/12/2022 20:51

I don’t give to charity at Xmas (though I do at other times of the year). And don’t send Xmas cards either.

If I had to choose, I’d choose the charity option.

Really hoping the card thing dies off soon. Such as waste - paper, ink, time, fuel sending turn around the world/country - especially when some people just write “Dear Jane, from Lisa”…..WHATS THE POINT?? At least write a decent message FFS.