I’m not sending Christmas cards this year, I’m donating to charity

[UseAMuckySock]

Why is everyone announcing this on Facebook lately? Are we supposed to tell them how amazing and thoughtful they are?

The year my child died I could barely summon the energy to do Christmas gifts for my other kids, let alone sit writing cards without her name on them. So I decided that instead of torturing myself doing that I would take the money I would usually spend on cards, donate it to the charity that works for a cure for her Illness. That a) felt productive and b) alleviated my guilt over not sending the cards. I posted on Facebook so my friends and family would understand and asked them to maybe do the same instead of sending us a card and wondering about putting her name on the card etc.
that started it rolling. And it’s what I continue to do now. I didn’t wish anyone a happy Christmas that first year, now I do.

It doesn’t really bother me. I buy charity cards so feel like I’m doing both. I do wonder if people actually donate to charity or whether they cba to write cards.

I can understand why you don't TheOriginalEmu 😞

My father died when I was 12, a few weeks before Christmas. My mother didn't do anything to prepare for Christmas, she just wasn't interested. I remember taking the money and going and buying stuff from Father Christmas for my little brother, buying Christmas cards and stamps. Suddenly on Christmas Eve she decided to do everything, thought the stuff I'd bought wasn't good enough and went out and spent a small fortune, I can remember trying to carry loads of stuff home.

Such an unhappy time. Grief is so hard to deal with.

Just to add my little brother did actually like the things I'd bought on behalf of Father Christmas.

Because funnily enough, people get offended and use it as a way to make family drama when they 'haven't received a Christmas card from X'

(Yes, it has happened in my extended family - not me!)

Ah I’m sorry for your loss and the aftermath with your mum probably lost in her own grief. Bless you for trying to do something nice. ❤️

Thank you, I was a bit of a bossy 12 year old so me organising things wasn't unusual. She did cope amazingly well after a few months, I remember my gran saying, "I wish she could cry, once she cries she will start to get better." I think it was true.

T

L