Re a dog on Christmas Day

[Frazzled2207]

Happy to be told IABU

Mil has invited family- 7 adults and 4 kids aged between 4 and 9 for Christmas

it turns out that her friend needed a dog sitter for Christmas and MiL has offered. MiL has met the dog a few times and declared her to be chilled out but dog has never been to her house nor has MiL ever looked after the dog. dog is a mongrel and just over a year old so potentially quite bouncy. Is not however very large.

the two younger children are nervous about dogs. MiL is keen to introduce them to a dog but AIBU to suggest that Christmas Day is not the best time for this. It seems mean on the dog for starters. None of my in laws have dogs and seem to think it will all be fine. I am the only adult who’s ever had a dog, admittedly she was a nervy creature so my thinking is possibly skewed a bit.

I am mostly worried about the dog being bouncy and nobody having any control over it. Would be horrid to have to lock the dog in another room.

anyway have suggested to Mil that she has the dog ahead of Christmas so that the ddog can get used to the house and MiL. She doesn’t seem to be very keen on the idea. Is convinced that on Christmas day, the kids will look after the dog! She seems very naive about looking after the dog.

aibu?

She needs to choose:
Christmas with the grandkids
or
Christmas with a friends dog.

Unless the dog is used to a busy household with children, it would probably welcome being locked in another room. The children shouldn't be left unsupervised with the dog. The parents need to put ground rules in place now.

Totally agree. I seem to be the party pooper so I will now have to go easy on the wine and make sure that the kids are not left alone with the dog! Worst case scenario I’d be happy to take out ddog for a long walk.

I think it's very unfair on the poor dog to be palmed off onto 12 strangers on Christmas day. It'll probably be very nervous and nervous dogs can bite especially with random kids pissing about with it.

Weird setup. Unfair for the dog and unsafe for the kids.

Tbh a young ddog will prob love being around the dc

Your MIL sounds nuts if she thinks it’s the responsibility of the children to look after a strangers dog on Christmas Day.

I love dogs. But wouldn’t be happy to have a strangers dog in my house on Christmas Day. You don’t know the temperament, or it’s routine.

Id put it in another room where it won’t be disturbed, with the radio on, some puppy pads, toys and a water bowl. Then take it out side for a run round in the garden and a wee/poo every so often.

Yes very possible but how can we possibly know that?
ddog currently lives with an elderly couple

Too much to go wrong. With all the excitement a young dog won't want to be locked away even if conflicted about the children. Your MIL needs a plan for looking after the dog which doesn't include leaving it to the children or locking it away. Cruel for the dog and unfair on you.

Either the dog doesn’t come, the dog is locked away in another room, or the children don’t come.

This is so naive.

Let's hope the dog does love it and doesn't bite anyone. Dog bites do happen, increasingly so because people think dogs will 'love' being around excited and noisy kids.

Your MIL is mad. Poor dog, in a strange house, missing his owner, with people he doesn't know, with excited children he hasnt met. Kids that are dog nervous, dog that might be child nervous. Recipe for disaster.

Oh wow OP this could end in total disaster.
If the pup is used to a quiet household then it might really freak him out in a busy household with all the hightened excitment.
I know our 18 month old Ddog wouldnt cope well in this situation.
Your MIL really sounds clueless to the situation.

I can't imagine the friend will be keen on this, if they know. Christmas day is the worst possible time for non-dog people to have a dog in the house. Too many dangers lying around - chocolates, raisins in the mincemeat/mixed nuts, etc, and toys/gifts to chew. Policing those things puts the stress on you - because after six sherries MIL won't be.

The owner does apparently understand this. My dh has known her for years and is quite sure that she would be honest with mil if there were likely issues with children. I’m still uneasy though.

Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me , how long is she having the dog for ?

Dog is coming xmas eve will stay until Boxing Day

This really depends on the dog and its level of socialising. Has it been around loud, playful, unpredictable children before? Do the children know how to safely approach a dog eg be careful not to corner it? Dogs that are chilled in their normal environment can still really struggle in other settings away from their owners and I'd deffo be doing a trial run to make sure the dog is familiar with me and my house before taking them overnight. Even dog sitters do this.

I have mixed feelings. Is the dog crate trained and would be comfortable in its crate if it’s not happy with its unfamiliar surroundings and lots of people?

I’d be the one who would be happy to sit with the dog on a lead if it becomes overexcited or uncomfortable.

I need more info on the temperament of the dog and it’s usual habitat to make an informed opinion about the dog at Christmas tbh.

If you have strong feelings that the dog may put your dc at risk you could always decline the invitation.

Not fair on the dog and not fair on the children
Between you all do you have baby gates you can take ?

@RandomSunday
all things I’d want to know but MiL doesn’t seem to have a clue. If it was a dog that she had looked after before, in her house, I’d be far more relaxed

Not going is not really an option however I will reluctantly take charge of the dog. If I have to take ddog out for a long walk to exhaust her I won’t mind that at all.

My sister has a young dog, just over a year and he does not like children so I would assume this.
Is there any way you could use a stair get to keep the dog in an area away from the kids, but they can see each other? Christmas Day is one of those days where everything is heightened and things could go wrong.

Young dogs can’t and shouldn’t go for long walks it can cause lifelong damage. Little and often is better.

This is madness.

Amen to this.

Nervous dogs can and will bite in the right circumstance.

It's not fair on the dog, who will be blamed if something does happen, and it's not fair on the recipient of it's teeth.

I know dogs that are soft as brushes but have nipped when the conditions necessitate it.

Personally OP if MIL can't see sense, you're going to have to, and probably not take the kids.

I'm sure the kids don't want Christmas day to be ruined by feelings of nervousness.

The dig will be fine. The kids will be fine why is everyone catastrophising