Husband was only one not invited

[Beanielou]

My husband has told me that for the second year of working for a company that he has not been invited to the Christmas work do. His work comprises of a few smaller teams and the person in charge of one of these teams also works in a pub and arranges the event. My husband and this person speak on a frequent basis and the coordinator has even discussed the party in front of my husband. His work colleagues all can’t understand why he hasnt been invited, they don’t gel personality wise but this man can be hard to get along with.

last night was the party and at work people were asking each other if they were going. DH works closely with one other person who said he wasn’t. However later DH heard him on the phone saying he was going and had to lie so it didn’t seem awkward in front of DH

My husband isn’t the sort to speak up about it or to find out why but AIBU at being annoyed that no one else has spoken up for him? I can see DH is gutted at not being invited and he says others across the teams have mentioned it to him.

it also feels worse as my six year old daughter was the only girl in her class (out of nine girls) last not invited to a birthday party last month - I’m starting to feel like we are social misfits

[Ginseng1]

It's clearly wrong but we can speculate all day. He'll just have to ask just say "why wasn't I invited Bob" in a nice kind of way. I'd want to know or least put them on the spot & see what excuse they come up with.

[Creativecake]

No offence but ‘escalate to hr’…….. what will they say? They will say ‘have you asked why you’re not invited?’

It could be bullying but one incident will not be sufficient for them to act. I’ve worked in HR, they are they to make sure staff comply with employment law but they wouldn’t act on something like this.

[EstherGreenwood19]

@Beanielou

No he’s employed by the company and what makes it worse is that all the regular self employed contractors have been invited!

It’s bullying.

[Pogue4Life]

This reminds me of something from last year when a woman too her her company to court when they didn’t invite her for a night out AND SHE WON
www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/real-lives/woman-wins-nearly-75k-after-24012375.amp

your husband could always bring it up with the management or if he wants to the people who organised it, see how they react when he threatens them with victimisation, which it could be classed as

[Inwiththenew]

I can understand it’s upsetting but unless you’re 25 work dos are usually pretty awful. It’s a blessing in disguise really. But it does sound like it’s been discussed amongst his colleagues and the fact that it has been casually mentioned is usually people’s way of letting someone in on something because they think it’s wrong but don’t want to rock the boat. He might have more support than he thinks. So for his own peace of mind he should bring it up with a manager and then be in a position to make his own decision whether to go or not.

[Moon22]

This is terrible.
I know you've said he is shy but he absolutely NEEDS to address this. I don't see any other way to find out why this is happening. Could he send an email if he doesn't feel comfortable communicating in person? I am sure they will reply and say of course he is invited and it's a misunderstanding?
Let us know how he gets on.

[NannaKaren]

That’s made me sad - can DH pluck up courage to say he feels bad about being left out twice now - disgusting adults treating another like that - sorry to read that and what’s going on re DD - bitches the Mums 😡

[munner]

He needs to complain if this was a sanctioned works do as it represents workplace bullying, even if the organiser is a dick.

[Olu123]

I left a job because of this, it was the icing on a massively horrible cake of consistent Horrible bullying from working for a regulator in Canary Wharf.
they were quite nervous and kept calling after I just walked out and probably thought I was going to see but I was too distraught and suicidal to even want to do that.

[JustAnotherManicMomday]

Contact HR. Its discrimination in some form or another.

[cobden28]

@Sparkletastic

This could be evidence of workplace bullying

it certainly seems that your husband is being deliberately excluded for some reason. Is asking the organiser of this event directly an option?

[augmum]

I am so sorry this has happened to your husband, that's bloody disgusting coming from grown people!

You are not misfits he works for a bunch of wankers, not being invited to something, stings at all ages and this seems as though it was done consciously. I would look for somewhere else to work somewhere he's appreciated

[Kjpt140v]

This is workplace bullying.