Everyone is stressed and miserable.

[liloandtitch]

Rewind five years and I would say that my friends and family were a happy group. We had our problems of course, but a good chat putting the world to rights over a bottle of red usually seemed to help.

Right now though my best friend is pregnant, has huge health anxiety and rarely leaves the house.

Another good friend is stressed and burnt out at work, thinking of leaving her partner but has no energy to do anything.

A third I barely hear from, never reads her messages or picks up the phone, she lives the other end of the country so we can’t just pop in to see how she is. I know money was tight for her before cost of living crisis, so I’m guessing she is stressed out.

My sister is off work with stress, she is also gutted house purchase fell through as can no longer afford a mortgage and feels really bleak right now.

My 80year old aunt who used to be such a great giggle went downhill massively during covid and now I think she is probably depressed.

My boss’s son has developed OCD and all sorts of emotional problems so we hear all about that at work.

Nobody is in the mood for celebrating and the Christmas parties, coffees and catch ups that used to happen just aren’t on the cards this year because nobody seems to have the energy, the money or frankly the cheer. I confess, I can’t be bothered either a lot of the time.

Just looking at my own circle, seems like almost everyone is just feeling really down right now. Are others seeing the same?

I think some people are really still feeling post pandemic, plus the COL crisis, growing inequality in this country, NHS decline, general economic gloom, Brexit troubles, the war in Ukraine and democratic retreat all over.

So not a joyous time, but then they can’t all be. I really would like the raging inequality sorted out which is in in our power to fix. However, the PP above does have a point - not that it isn’t right to talk about feeling low or point out what’s wrong - but there are good things too.

Work places have become a hive of nepotism and back scratching and bitching ( I admit , I do this myself too as people are annoying )
It's not what you know, but who.

I'm not stressed or miserable. I don't do Christmas. The two things may be connected.

You missed constantly sick children as a result of no exposure throughout lockdown, meaning many of us are also dealing with unwell children whilst juggling our jobs and worrying we might lose them if we have anymore time off 🙁

Agree. This year feels like everyone is going 110% on the social gatherings, especially school. Just because covid is 'over' doesn't mean I want to socialise constantly. I like my quiet and down time and we've gone back to that not be an acceptable preference.

I think for many, there's just a massive sense of disillusionment.

Through the whole of covid we were fed the line that brighter times with our families would come. We were probably allowed a couple of months of that at most before all the prices really kicked off and all the energy bill crap. So it's like, what's the point in having hope when more bad stuff will come our way anyway?

We’re ok but I do worry about the state of the country more generally. Especially young people and their prospects.

Yep, my mental health has never been good but covid and lockdowns had a horrific affect on me ending in an attempt on my life (I'm not saying they weren't necessary - but they did do a lot of harm) and I've never really recovered from that, then there's the financial stresses, relationship troubles, seeing my children become horribly unwell and now there's strep A to worry about and one of my children is suffering and can't get the treatment on the NHS because they haven't got the funds so I need to somehow find the huge sum for that while I'm struggling to find the money to heat my home. I constantly feel this sense of impending doom, I don't remember what it feels like to not be anxious and I'm trying to put on a brave face for my children but frankly feel like they'd be far better off with another mum who could easily give them what they need. Certainly not feeling very merry this year.

I don't even have a proper reason like the loss of a loved one, but I'm so bloody depressed right now. My life should be fine, despite having no friends and hardly any family, but it just seems so joyless. Like there's nothing to look forward to. Just rising costs and a worsening climate.

I don’t think the media is helping. Constant doom and gloom x

I feel much happier because covid means our work moved to wfh which I absolutely love. For the first time ever I feel in control of my life and my time.

I agree with others that its alot to do with the mental health fallout following Covid and the news is just always negative. It is just constantly one negative crisis after another. I do still enjoy going out (although not as much as I used to as the price of a good meal is so expensive) and would say my friends are positive people, however I have noticed nearly everyone (including myself) feels stressed/over worked/exhausted at the moment.

Yeah I feel you.

i have a really well paid but incredibly stressful new job.

my father is an alcoholic

I’ve developed atopic eczema/dermatitis as a result of the stress.

my younger DC is constantly unwell

I struggled last year and this year has been hard as my dad has had cancer treatment, we found out last Christmas but he has responded well so this Christmas should be better.

My main problem is that time seems to feel different. The days are racing by too fast and I don’t feel I’m ready for xmas yet. But was same for other key dates this year. I usually love Halloween for example but feel like I missed it.

I think the main problem for the country right now is that it
feels leaderless. All these problems and nobody is doing anything about it. Or so it feels. After events like Covid I think we really needed a stronger exit and probably it was the worse time to have Brexit, no matter what side of it you fall.

Nope, not here.

Yes, never felt so low and demotivated. Grief. Winter. State of this country. My ‘hobby turned into a job’ which once raked in the money now struggling. So what do we do? How do we get out of it? Therapy is too expensive. Sertraline doing nothing for me now. I just can’t think of how to deal with it.

Forgot to add, many friends and family going through similar.

Yanbu. Middle and higher earners are bring taxed more than ever (only the ultra rich escape I think). Work is hard with businesses suffering from high prices too and just around the corner is likely high unemployment.

Lockdowns have a lot to answer for.

I think COVID was shit and isolating but also showed people another side. Those who were furloughed, often those in jobs which needed to be performed outside of the house, have had to go back to hard jobs with very few perks, weekend working, grumpy customers. They had a golden few months (up to 8 months for some industries) with full pay and the time with their families which they usually miss out on.
Those who worked from home had more time at home and with their family. There was a bit of an unspoken rule for the first year that you doing your best in the circumstances was enough. So it was ok to pause to play a board game or go for a walk in a way which I think it isn't now.
For the key workers, it was a year of being everyone's 'hero's' and now back to being just a supermarket worker or a hospital cleaner. In mental health services we have never been busier and it's frankly dangerous at the moment in terms of caseloads and staffing. Things are busier than ever and we have never had any downtime since the pandemic started.
Now there's the COL and war related anxiety, climate change anxiety. People isolated due to losing social connections during covid, voluntary services never quite picking up again, people are struggling with getting back out there again.
What's the solution? I think it's a new era of getting back to basics. Shafting consumerism. Enjoying experiences. Valuing good eating and good company. Being together is more important than what you're serving. If you have Christmas dinner and serve everyone a roast chicken, everyone will still have a good time. Personally debt has been a big problem and that's all linked to me trying to offer more than I can afford, trying to keep up. Last year I went to the woods with the kids, we heated up some mulled wine on a camping staff and did a treasure hunt. It was the best day of the year. Why am I beating myself up for not being able to afford winter wonderland? Comparison is the thief of joy and all that.
Creativity helps too.

I’ve noticed this in mine and DH’s family. Particularly people miserable over money. DH’s brother has £500,000 in assets and is leaving his wife because he won’t give her her life savings so he can buy a house for his (not hers) kids to inherit. In my family people have been arguing over inheritance of my poor mother who hasn’t even died yet. It makes me sick.

On the whole, the people in my life are rather happier than they were a few years ago.

Everyone is relieved that Covid is more in the background. Eldest DC unexpectedly and completely recovered from a chronic illness which had dominated their life for seven years, and is doing great at uni and having fun to make up for lost time.

Younger DC is content and positive despite her life being somewhat challenging. Many of her friends also have special needs, and most are doing better than anticipated as they move toward independence.

My sister had a big health scare and turned out to be okay. Depressed isolated SIL has managed to get out a bit more and seems to be coping better than previously. Niece recently married and appears quite happy. After 18 months of battling to get disability benefits, a relative just won at tribunal, so their financial situation is better and they feel that people believe them at last. Nobody is too worried about their jobs because employers are desperate for staff.

It's true that we will be missing my lovely late SIL at Christmas and it will be tough for her daughter.

Yep I’m not feeling it this year. My friends are not either. Also I met what seemed to be a great guy but he turned out to be a cocklodger in the making so that was a huge disappointment. Hopefully things will get better for everyone.

There's no doubting some people ( as always) are miserable and unhappy but the majority of my family and friends are fine. Most have enough money, 2 are retiring soon in their mid fifties. My fb pages are full of grinning people doing expensive things- Christmas markets, shows, trips abroad, gigs. People never seem to be in and I do get jealous and wonder how on earth they do it.

I don't have the time so I post on here or read posts. I work full time at home luckily and work are very good to me and understand that sometimes our son will be in the background being noisy if my parents or inlaws are busy and can't look after him. But thank you.

I have had my share of awful stuff during the pandemic and I am still dealing with the fallout. But am determined to not let it define my life. I am also dropping all the friends "who just can't be bothered" to respond to messages and making new friends who are interested in making an effort. Trying to surround myself with radiators, not drains.