Everyone is stressed and miserable.

[liloandtitch]

Rewind five years and I would say that my friends and family were a happy group. We had our problems of course, but a good chat putting the world to rights over a bottle of red usually seemed to help.

Right now though my best friend is pregnant, has huge health anxiety and rarely leaves the house.

Another good friend is stressed and burnt out at work, thinking of leaving her partner but has no energy to do anything.

A third I barely hear from, never reads her messages or picks up the phone, she lives the other end of the country so we can’t just pop in to see how she is. I know money was tight for her before cost of living crisis, so I’m guessing she is stressed out.

My sister is off work with stress, she is also gutted house purchase fell through as can no longer afford a mortgage and feels really bleak right now.

My 80year old aunt who used to be such a great giggle went downhill massively during covid and now I think she is probably depressed.

My boss’s son has developed OCD and all sorts of emotional problems so we hear all about that at work.

Nobody is in the mood for celebrating and the Christmas parties, coffees and catch ups that used to happen just aren’t on the cards this year because nobody seems to have the energy, the money or frankly the cheer. I confess, I can’t be bothered either a lot of the time.

Just looking at my own circle, seems like almost everyone is just feeling really down right now. Are others seeing the same?

I feel much the same as pp. we have had a very rough year on top of the general awfulness of the world and I feel disinterested in things that once I loved. I've hermited myself effectively and although I know I need to jog myself out of it, I can't find the motivation to do so.

I agree that there have been tough times and the media absolutely do not help. But - life is what you make it!

I agree with the OP.

Obviously some people have suffered huge losses due to covid. But even people who haven't ....my friendship group suffered a lot from people having different attitudes to covid, working or not working during covid, wearing a mask or not wearing a mask when it wasn't compulsory etc etc.
Personally, I felt a lack of support from my friends during my covid anxieties (relating to having asthma). Some gave my no emotional support at all, which now makes it hard for me to give them emotional support when they want it. It has fucked up my main friendship group basically and made us all sadder & less social as a result.

No. My immediate circles are all content and pretty happy. Most are making more money than ever.

I’ve recently received a significant health diagnosis, but - my income is 3x what it was a year ago, my children happier, my friendships and community stronger and I’m happy with my life.

I’m old enough to mostly give SM a big swerve (PP alluded to its “unhappiness” making abilities) and I’ve lost 4 friends/associates in the last 3 months. Every day is a gift - your packaging may vary.

I get it op.

Tbh covid is just an amplification of what happened to my social life since kids - friends without kids drifting away, those with are hard to see last the baby phase because it's hard to find babysitters, there's always a sickness bug or upset child, everyone's always knackered.

There's so much happening now that's outside our control, it's exhausting. I think it helps to focus on the things you can control. Go for a walk, grow a plant, care for someone etc. Creative hobbies. Something that can't be trashed by external events.

I know their experience was on a different level completely, but I always think of a programme I saw about Jewish sisters who had both been in concentration camps as children and survived. One was angry her whole life, struggled with depression etc. The other was happy every day that she was free and able to enjoy her freedom and saw that as the ultimate revenge. I know mental health conditions aren't a choice, but attitude can do a lot to shape how we experience things.

Not around me. There are few people who are very much so, but by far not everyone.
I am a happy clam, happy with little even my below average income which still provides for extras like regular travel etc. It was an eventful year for us, in a good way (finally) though we have sadly lost few close family members in last 2 years on both sides. So i think it balanced itself out. One job is shite and company is about to fall, one is great even with the wages it is on (plenty the way we are set up).

So generally happy/content with some exciting plans for future.
Totally opposite for few of my friends and colleagues but in general way more are ok than not.

Sorry for your loss Bog. I totally understand you putting a brave face on for your son. Is there simeone you can be totally honest with? Have you thought about counselling? It's a safe non judgemental space to say what you like. Look after yourself too and not just your son. If you have any support and you want it then take it.

Well said @Ponoka7 . Many people can't grasp how lucky they are or even see their many blessings. That said, many seem to be finding it hard.

That's an absolute bummer @Bog. I hope you get through it alright.

No, not at all.

All my crappy years happened long before Covid arrived arrived, illness, death, lack of money etc.

We are much happier, financially comfortable and mentally stronger than we have been in a long time.

Cannot wait for Christmas and all the plans we have for 2023.

I am not unaware that life has a way of biting you on the arse when you least expect it, but having dealt with some truly horrific events over the years, I absolutely refuse to worry about it.

Otherwise what is the point of being here?

Re SM. It's actually my little happy place because I follow only few family members and friends, use mute button if necessary, and then it's all just art, gardening, comedy, museums, national trust, wildlife photographers😁

You’re right OP. It’s not everyone but it’s a LOT of people.

Collective trauma after Covid - our lives were turned upside down very abruptly.
I know a lot of people still working from home and not really enjoying it (I wfh and love it but DH is miserable, misses the social aspect of an office).
Other friends have had their marriages break down. So many have experienced mental health problems.

Money issues - Cost of living crisis/fuel/Brexit knock on effects/recession/house prices.

War in Ukraine that seemed like it was going to go nuclear.

Environment news - endless warnings with very little action taken.

Governments that seem to be out of control at times (tories, but also Trump!).

Services not running as they should (transport, health).

Did I miss anything?!

Not here, people seem in good spirits. It was only last year things were different with pandemic

People seem happier, wfh flexibility probably helps

But also just pleased to be past all the pandemic stuff

I'm sorry and I think you're wonderful for trying to give your son a lovely time. Take care of yourself.

I think it's "circle based" and you feed it with your reaction.

I know one person in my circle is certainly very doom and gloom (always has been) and miserable and when the rest of the circle speak with them, it becomes cyclic.

So tbh, I avoid speaking to that person as much as I can. Because their miserable behaviour isn't based in anything, they just enjoy being the neigh sayer and doom bringer.

I was on my "Xmas do" yesterday, that wasn't official, that the employees sorted out, and despite the fact the main point of the day was cancelled, we all had a fabulous time, full of laughter and smiles. As was every other group in every pub.

People seem happier, wfh flexibility probably helps

Maybe that’s a deciding factor? WFH
isn’t possible in my job (and many others) so the working day is long, I never see my house/garden in the light during the week which makes things seem bleak, commutes are long and expensive, and there is no flexibility at all.

Yep. Texting is false connection. It gives us a sense of connection but not the benefits of actual connection that a call or face to face meet do. Add in hybrid or remote working and I bet a hell of a lot more people are feeling lonely and disconnected than ever before.

Personally, I realised during Covid how important human connection is so made a HUGE effort once things opened up to do more, see more people, say yes to more etc. It's been a real slog but I've made new friends, reconnected with old ones, and I feel more content now.

My DC were in a bad place during Covid lockdowns etc and they seem a bit better now, no point thinking where they may be if this has never happened, it is what it is.

My suggestion is find something to care about and get passionate about and get involved somehow. Give life more purpose.

Find a new job life is too bloody short for that nonsense @Shinyandnew1

Me too re needing real connections, we have social stuff a fair bit but also day to day. Everything that has returned I appreciate.

@Tigofigo id agree with that. I’m ASD and a massive introvert, but coming out of covid I decided to “say yes”. I’ve been to parties, nights out, say yes to being on committees etc. I wouldn’t say I’m an extrovert, but being TOLD to stay home really got my back up. 😂

Given how bleak everything feels it’s difficult for many to ‘keep their chin up’ when you have a cost of living crisis, Covid, Strep A, a disintegrated NHS, strikes in major services, Christmas stress, freezing weather, the war in Ukraine on every other headline plus the general mood of those around you who also feel the same. It’s fairly acceptable for some folks to not be 100% themselves.

We're all down here. New baby, which is very happy, but obviously there is stress that comes with it. Toddler has Scarlet Fever, DH's job is pissing him off and treating him like crap, my family lives an ocean away and I miss them, and 4/5 grandparents between DH and I are currently very ill or living with advanced dementia. Finances are beyond tight. Both DH and I are struggling with mental health issues (treated, but certainly still an issue). We have some friends, but not many, and I don't really have the energy to meet up.

Add in the state of the country (cost of living crisis, Brexit, useless Tories, war in Ukraine, etc), and it's a depression cocktail. I'd guess millions of others are in the same sinking boat.

Mostly glad and happy around these parts. Yes people have their struggles but most people I know understand that strifes are down to 'something' and generally temporary.

We've been out of lockdown longer than we were in it. People still get ill, have money worries etc but that is not unique to now.

My hardest time was Jan 2019 when we lost our second daughter. Even though I had a healthy 4yo I didn't want to go on without my baby. Thank goodness for family, my daughter and time.

I now keep her close in my hearth and live the life she wasn't able to. I'm short, I am grateful to be alive and I make the best of whatever hand I am dealt.

She's in my heart...not my hearth😵‍💫

I have quite a few single parent friends who struggle, and not just financially. My sister hasn’t seen her son all year and he’s just told her he won’t be home for Xmas.

I work in ICU and we are seeing an increase in Covid again plus there are plans to accept small children onto our Unit if this Strep A outbreak gets a hold.

But for the first time in three years I’m not working over Christmas so I can enjoy the festive season with my family. That’s a biggie for me so I’m a happy bunny - Christmas is made, not bought.

This is me too