Everyone is stressed and miserable.

[liloandtitch]

Rewind five years and I would say that my friends and family were a happy group. We had our problems of course, but a good chat putting the world to rights over a bottle of red usually seemed to help.

Right now though my best friend is pregnant, has huge health anxiety and rarely leaves the house.

Another good friend is stressed and burnt out at work, thinking of leaving her partner but has no energy to do anything.

A third I barely hear from, never reads her messages or picks up the phone, she lives the other end of the country so we can’t just pop in to see how she is. I know money was tight for her before cost of living crisis, so I’m guessing she is stressed out.

My sister is off work with stress, she is also gutted house purchase fell through as can no longer afford a mortgage and feels really bleak right now.

My 80year old aunt who used to be such a great giggle went downhill massively during covid and now I think she is probably depressed.

My boss’s son has developed OCD and all sorts of emotional problems so we hear all about that at work.

Nobody is in the mood for celebrating and the Christmas parties, coffees and catch ups that used to happen just aren’t on the cards this year because nobody seems to have the energy, the money or frankly the cheer. I confess, I can’t be bothered either a lot of the time.

Just looking at my own circle, seems like almost everyone is just feeling really down right now. Are others seeing the same?

I’m so sorry for your loss.I have no words that will help but sending you and your son 💐💕

Yes! Add me to the list. All I seem to do is work to keep everything ticking along. I keep my family fed, clean, warm, loved. I keep my job going. Keep my career on track. I check in with friends. But my heart is not in it. I have lost the capacity to be happy, it seems. I ve lost hope. I feel like it is one step in front of the other. I keep a smile on. I laugh and keep it light at work. Sometimes my mask slips at home, but not often. The worst part is getting out of bed. The moment where I have to put the mask in place. That moment is…. Exhausting.

Awful! Awful five years. Lost jobs, financial difficulties (which now are ok, but the stress for about two yrs was HUGE). Bereavement. Marital difficulties (still an issue). Realising I won’t ever have more than one child. Covid.

Just getting over Covid. At one point my Oxy levels were consistently at 94. I couldn’t breathe. Doctor wanted me to go to a and e. But they put me on steroids and that really really helped.

I am now back to square 1. I hoped when I got it, I’d see it wasn’t that bad. It was brutal. Thankfully rest of family were milder. But now my anxiety levels about us all getting it again and me being worse…. Or worse, my child gasping for breathe…..

And I know I’m one of the lucky ones. I feel like shite! But I’m actually fine. My job is secure ish (at long last). I don’t have chronic health issues, financial insecurity, live in a war zone.

But I feel like one of the dementors from Harry Potter has sucked all the joy from my life.

Quite honestly…. There’s only one place I feel ok. I’m ashamed to say - it’s not w my family, friends, job etc. But with my horse. He eats up ALL my expendable cash. But Christ! I can actually feel myself relax around him. Everything else in my life is just hard work. I wish the thing that brought me this release was free (like jogging) or even better being w friends/family. But it’s not.

Things do feel a bit bleak. I used to enjoy seeing people but I really can’t be bothered anymore. For me the thing I’m finding hardest is the cold. Sitting under blankets because we can’t afford the heating. It’s hard to believe now that we used to turn the heating on without even thinking about it last year (and all the years before that).I am embarrassed that people might want to visit over Christmas as the people we know seem unaffected by the cost of living crisis. We can’t afford to put the heating on for them or do the nibbles and drinks that people expect this time of year.

I am so sorry to hear this! Life is not fair. Not fair at all. I am sending you loving thoughts - a stranger from far away.

My colleagues partner said to her the other day that he just feels as if his looking into an abyss
He works, but his concerned for his parents aging and working till his 67 himself and just how miserable it is all round. Plus the lack of support for older people , knowing your care home bills might wipe you out in the future if you live too long or are unfortunate enough to suffer with dementia or Alzheimer's who are treated appallingly compared to any other kind of ailment / cancer etc. Nobody seems to have a handle on anything anymore

For me its a mix. Before covid I had two big bereavements. During covid I decided to get fit. I try very hard despite suffering with anxiety, depression and a chronic condition to keep going and pushing myself.

Some days I spend in bed and I have my cries but overall I try to always have something to look forward to and to keep going.

Amongst my friends its a mix and of course the state of the world is challenging but also probably always has been in one way or another.

I think the standard of living in the UK I falling which you can feel if you've been here long enough. If you're new to the UK it may feel wonderful but if you've lived here all your life, there's a feeling of things worsening.

I try to limit social media, avoid the news and keep something to look forward to as much as I can. Like others have mentioned...face to face communication is VITAL to me feeling good. I didnt realise it before. Hold on everyone x

Mumsnet has always had a negative vibe compared to real life

So sorry for everyone who has suffered loss and is struggling.
I don’t know what I’d do without my faith tbh. It absolutely keeps me going. I always find blessings to count

I count my blessings too, but too many people I'm close to are suffering and my dearest friend is also counting the pennies and sitting there cold and she works !
It just feels unfair all round.

I should have read the whole thread before writing my comment, mine seems real First World Problems compared to what everyone is going through on here, I am so sorry you are all having such a shitty time, especially you @EllisActon . This world can be so cruel 💐

I am just sort of numb - not caring much about anything and cold of course but not numb with cold - yet!

Our group is ok
New babies are helping!

But I dont think anyone is immune from the cost of living.

Yep, 💯 percent agree with you. Most of my family, friends and circle are currently over worked, with little energy and little to show for it. People are stressed about money and allsorts of things really.

Yesterday I took my kids to the theatre. It’s a 15 minute drive. Due to knowing about road works I left one hour and ten minutes before the start time and we were STILL late. The whole city is at a standstill due to road works. I sat in my car at the traffic and cried. The panto was REALLY expensive and we were going to be late for it. Not the end of the world but I just sat there like wow why did I even fucking bother leaving the house.

My daughter has a really nasty cough so I am also worrying she may need antibiotics and I know In my area they have a huge shortage. I mean just so much to really make you feel on edge these days.

Every single aspect of our lives are affected by poor service, higher prices, poor roads, ineffective public transport, lack of money everywhere ( despite paying higher council tax every year ) the NHs is rarely out of crisis and now the weather will probably cause more disruption too. Schools are having to find double or even triple for energy costs too
It's just bad news all round.

It feels like many people have been ground down by a string of things that have reduced their quality of life since 2008 really.

I work in the public sector and most employees seem to be utterly fed up to be honest. We are losing a lot of people at the moment who just can't take the shit pay awards any longer while the workload just keeps increasing and our senior management keep going on about the place being great to work in whilst claiming they can do nothing about anything due to government rules.

To be honest, I'm hanging in there at the moment myself, there seems to be little to be joyful about at the moment.

I’ve read before about people’s experiences of life in Britain right after the Second World War ended, and how it just felt grey and miserable and exhausting for years. Feels very familiar.

So I suppose it’s not new in the aftermath of a major crisis, but I don’t think it’s helped that our reaction to this one involved
cutting off a lot of the richness of life. Socialisation massively reduced, being out and about and part of a society not needed any more because you can work and shop from home, so much of human experience reduced to a ‘service’ you can ‘access’ digitally. It’s made our lives thin and empty, and we don’t even have a language to discuss it beyond efficiency and time savings.

I’ve been ok generally but work is really getting me down at the moment, and I’m already looking for another job with less working from home. I’ve had it with doing 95% of my human work interactions on a screen.

I agree it’s a really difficult time.
I have always been generally a positive person and tried to retain hope through covid etc. but the constant onslaught of challenge after challenge has really affected me.
I feel nervous for ‘what else’ will go wrong in the future rather than hopefully. I enjoy life and am making the most for the children and feel happy day to day but at night I do worry and wonder how/when things will settle down.

During that terrible long cold winter of 1963 which went on till Easter , my late dads brother decided to emigrate to Australia and I think he did the right thing back then!
Rationing went on for years after WW2 ended too , it was a miserable couple of years after 1945. People were more resilient I think , maybe we have had it too good and now it's hard to adjust to having to restrict our needs ?
I've no idea, but I'm hoping that things look up next year a bit at least

So true OP, I’m so disappointed when I wake up each morning and have to struggle through another day.
Life is shit, just when I get glimmer of hope something else happens.

@EllisActon I am so sorry to hear what happened to you, that indeed is a lot of shit circumstances, and I appreciate you taking an hour to type your answer! I don't have any platitudes to give you, only that you are still here for a reason, I don't know that reason but you are a valued and valuable person, I hope you feel a bit of light in the situation soon.

I have come through very hard years personally and also felt despairing at times, but right now, even though I see the world is hard and cold, I don't feel too bad about it all. I think I've decided to try to improve the small world in which I live and not worry about the bigger world over which I have little control- so we are having a modest but fun Christmas, just a nice real tree, personal decorations. A couple of friends have sent me lovely chocs or a treat, and I've done that for a couple of people I don't live near. I don't think people want to go on big nights out, but we've done a couple of round other people's houses, I'm inviting people over for mince pies and a cuppa. I'm calling on the phone or leaving messages for friends rather than just a FB or text. No big presents, no shopping like crazy, just sitting tight, trying to cosy up (the electric throws help) and enjoy what we have got. I know if you haven't got enough money to do these things it would be different. I think living smaller but snugglier is the way forward for this winter for us anyway.

I don't feel sad, stressed but I don't feel happy either. I've felt nothing but apathy since COVID , I keep thinking another disaster will probably happen so I just muddle on. That positive feeling for humanity ended for me in 2019.

My sisters developed mental health problems and has in all honesty ruined every Christmas for the past ten years. She's been winding herself up.for weeks yet again and I'm honestly done with it. We can all see what's coming. Everyone's on edge.

It's funny how if someone lost their eyesight or a limb everyone wants to help. Someone loses their mind and everyone runs for the hills, so all she really has is myself and her husband......the reality is the only reason I'm still in contact with her is to support her poor husband who is far more supportive than she deserves or even realises. And I'm now done, done with her mad woman in the attic bullshit after she went into my workplace, a job I'd only been in for 2 months and started screaming at people. I now dont want to go back. And it was a job I really needed because we're struggling financially just like everyone else.

The last couple of Christmases I've ended up taking her in because she's become so abusive towards her husband the police have brought her to my house. I feel awful but that won't be happening this year, I feel.bad for him, he has to deal with that as well as the fact he gets abuse off neighbours because of her, he doesn't really have much to do.with his family because she's fought with them all but I can't do it again. Christmas can in all honesty fuck off on the donkey it rode in on and fuck off a but further far away from me.

Oh my, so sorry to hear what some of your are dealing with, heartfelt wishes to those who have lost loved ones or have been through / are going through trauma 💐
The support here is lovely, Mumsnet can be wonderful for offering a listening ear and kind word when needed xxx

My take on it is a little different. I think Covid and in particular the lockdown gave us a peek into how different life could be. A slower, less rat race type life. I know lots of people who don’t go out as much because they simply don’t want to. I also think the lockdown gave us the space to address existing mental health issues like anxiety whereas before , we just carried on and ignored it.

Yes, I agree. I’m not sure why. Covid fallout perhaps. Constant bad news (24 hour news, aka bad news, plus social media, is wrecking the nation’s mental health). The niggling fear of climate catastrophe (that 40 degree heatwave really scared me - all of a sudden climate change became very real).

I live in rural Essex and the thing I hear people complain about most is the traffic and house building. In the last ten years, I would say the number of people living within five square miles of me has doubled. Everywhere I go new housing estates are being built. It’s just awful. My local woods have been hacked into to make way for a new estate. At the other end of the village, they are building a massive new estate, including blocks of flats. And on the edge of my local town, a new estate was built that is hideous beyond words. It’s so huge it’s more like a new town in itself. The roads just can’t cope. We’ve got windy little country lanes coping with the traffic of a small motorway. During the heatwave, I remember sitting at my kitchen table sobbing. It was like a hellish vision of the future: boiling heat, overcrowding, noise, nightmare traffic and no personal space.

PTSD from covid, constant bad news about the economy, the U.K. close to breaking apart, climate dread, rising prices, world’s population just gone past eight billion...happy Christmas!!