Everyone is stressed and miserable.

[liloandtitch]

Rewind five years and I would say that my friends and family were a happy group. We had our problems of course, but a good chat putting the world to rights over a bottle of red usually seemed to help.

Right now though my best friend is pregnant, has huge health anxiety and rarely leaves the house.

Another good friend is stressed and burnt out at work, thinking of leaving her partner but has no energy to do anything.

A third I barely hear from, never reads her messages or picks up the phone, she lives the other end of the country so we can’t just pop in to see how she is. I know money was tight for her before cost of living crisis, so I’m guessing she is stressed out.

My sister is off work with stress, she is also gutted house purchase fell through as can no longer afford a mortgage and feels really bleak right now.

My 80year old aunt who used to be such a great giggle went downhill massively during covid and now I think she is probably depressed.

My boss’s son has developed OCD and all sorts of emotional problems so we hear all about that at work.

Nobody is in the mood for celebrating and the Christmas parties, coffees and catch ups that used to happen just aren’t on the cards this year because nobody seems to have the energy, the money or frankly the cheer. I confess, I can’t be bothered either a lot of the time.

Just looking at my own circle, seems like almost everyone is just feeling really down right now. Are others seeing the same?

I felt like this last year. Relatives were seriously ill (one has since died), friends didn't want to meet up (not without reasons), even the work Xmas do was cancelled.

I feel this year im keeping expectations low and thinking back to the fun things I've done throughout the year rather than load it onto Xmas. Do I have a great Xmas party to go to - nope, but c'est la vie.

I could have written what Mummadeze said about a happy preteen turning into a v anxious stressed teenager though. Keep asking myself why..

The pressure on teens and s immense these days :(
I feel sorry for the the young tbh

@decadance What an awful time you've had. Hope 2023 is kinder to you.

I’m depressed at work. Not sleeping grumpy.
all since we have had a new boss 6 months ago.
he just so loud and only wants to talk about himself.
people in our office are now saying they know more about him than they know about their own partners!

Same here I am stressed and not really in the festive mood.
Our landlord decided, he was going to sell the house we have been living in for 12 years at the end of October! Our son in is in his last year of secondary school, so exams are coming up soon.
The house sold pretty quickly, the estate agent, didn't tell us, so my son found out when he got home from school. He told me when I got home later, surely a heads up from the estate agent would have been nice.
The rental market is mental, houses are going up one day, you phone up the next, to book a viewing, to find out, that all the viewings have gone. You have to fill a form out, that wants to no every thing about you, before you even step in the door.
Then if you like it, it's between you and 5 other people, the landlord decide if they want you, from just your names, what job you do and how much you earn.
It's a nightmare to say the least.
We tried to get a mortgage to buy our house, as the landlord gave us first dibs, but the bank said only with a 15%deposit. We didn't have nor did family. As we rent and my parents are pensioners.
Luckily I have a few days off over, Christmas. Which I may be able to enjoy, as estate agents will not be open, so I don't have to book viewings in, on my only days off.
Bring on next year, I would say it cannot get worse, but yes it could, in a bad way.. We aren't homeless, just yet.

@KateKateLee , I am so sorry. That's more than most humans could bear. I hope brighter days come soon 🌺

"We didn't have nor did family. As we rent and my parents are pensioners."

It doesn't follow that tenants and pensioners will automatically have no money.

The two statements are separate. One does not necessarily flow from the other.

Starting with the truth and good logic is often a good way to get to where you want to be. If you always rationalise your situation with falsehoods, it will be harder to make progress.

I'm so sorry that so many of you are really struggling.. sending hugs.. :-(

Yep. Life is shite for a lot of people atm 😢

I felt the same through most of last year and probably half of this year. I just tried to take it easy and rest as much as I could. I also tackled some of the problems I could resolve and that helped. I managed to have a really nice relaxing summer holiday in nature away from it all and that really helped, too.

I appreciate that it's easy for me because the cost of living crisis doesn't affect me much personally. But if you can I would say rest as much as you can. Once you have your own energy back your perspective will change and you feel more positive and you have more energy to support those around you who need emotional support.

I also channel my incredible frustration about the awful state this country is in by helping Labour win the next general election. I know they won't be perfect but they won't make such a god awful mess of it all like the current lot has made in my view. I appreciate political engagement isn't for everyone but it really helps me - feeling I can be out there helping to change things for the better.

Thanks. I’m hoping next year might be an improvement for me.

I just started resenting people. Before i could listen and had more patience but now seeing the effects of political incompetence and mismanagement just gets to me, and I have no time for people who voted Tory. Not even relatives. F* them quite frankly.
Also less into the whole celebrations spirit - the country is going through a truly traumatic time with people going hungry and cold in their homes, others fearing losing the roof over their heads. I just don’t feel like celebrating anything and I’m glad I’m not the only one. Just being thankful for my closest family is what’s getting me through most days.

My father died two weeks ago. I don't feel merry. (Let me say though, we always think we have time and we don't always. Make a plan, invite a friend to the house for lunch, Meet for drinks or coffee. For your unresponsive friend - think about her, the good times you've shared, the difficulties you've helped each other through, funny stories, the remember when's. Write it all down and send it to remind her of her intrinsic value.

I am not on one level. I can sit at home warm and dry, working doing my hobbies and around loved ones. I am used to stress so have handled the last few years well, as they haven’t been any different to the years before. Having to do very long hours isn’t great but at least I have that option.

On another level, things suck.

I think tough times have gone hand in hand with human existance.
My family fled Ireland during the potato famine, with just a few scraps of clothes and belongings into an future.
I grew up in poverty in a run down estate, full of hardship and violence.
Widespread strikes in the 70s meant widespread power outages, job losses and great hardship. Interest rates spiralled in the 80s, up to 14% debt became a problem for many.
And so it goes on, the world is polluted, food scarce for many globally, MH is taking a dive.
We are all touched in some way- some ore than others.
I seek out the company of others who remain calm and optimistic.
I keep up with news, but I don't dwell on it.
Yes some of my closest are struggling, I do what I can, but I work on my boundaries to protect the bird house in my soul.
We can't solve all the problems, we do have a degree of how much that affects us.

I agree. I try to keep optimistic but it really is a huge effort and everyone I know is struggling in one way or another particularly those with teenage and young adult children who really seem to be struggling with their mental health since Covid. It all seems very bleak at the moment with nothing to look forward to.

It’s all pretty grim right now I think.
My parents - in their 70s - are struggling and my mum is sucidial. I don’t really know what to do. I speak to her every day and every day she tells me how she wants to die and there’s no point carrying on and she wishes she’d just die in her sleep and is disappointed every time she wakes up in the morning. She says there’s nothing to look forward to and she doesn’t enjoy anything any more. I feel much the same but I have young dc.
My mum won’t go to the GP so I don’t know what else I can do. My dad is miserable as well.
Ive lost touch with nearly all of my friends, partly pandemic and partly having to up my hours to full time due to COL and now I just don’t have any time to do anything apart from look after the dc, work, tidy, cook and try and sort out my parents.
It’s just life isn’t it? But I agree, there’s precious little enjoyment at the moment. It’s more a relentless getting through.
i think for me covid left me with a sense of apathy and I feel like I’m waiting all the time for something but I’m not sure what. Life somehow feels suspended in a weird way.

I have a suicidal day in his 70s. It's heartbreaking.

@AnythingConsidered
Does that mean another holocaust against the Jews? Maybe I'm lucky I live in Israel.

My heart goes out to so many people on this thread X

Could you try contacting your Mum's GP yourself? Just say that you are worried about her and she seems suicidal? They might not do anything but it might be worth a try?

God this makes me so angry. I am SO sorry decadence. We should be utterly ruthless with such people. In fact, I would literally bribe them with money not to have children. They should 100% be stopped. These sorts of problems families ruin lives, not to mention costing the taxpayer tens of thousands of pounds. I have known two good people driven to suicide attempts by the vile people they had to live near.

The effect on our systems after living in fight or flight like mode during covid has affected many people . It doesn't get recognition .

I wouldn't have said that sitting in the house for days on end was really fight or flight. More cabin fever.

decadance, I really, really feel for you . I'm so sorry for your loss.