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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I blocked my best friend

51 replies

gjkufbb · 10/12/2022 20:35

My best friend and I have had a few fallings out over the years but always resolved it.

However, I've been having a real rough time lately. I'm always expected to be sympathetic towards her when she has issues, I don't feel like I get much in return.

She invited me over to hers, which I didn't really accept the invitation. I just said I would see as I'm usually in bed early atm as I'm struggling with this pregnancy.

Anyway after a really bad day and being in tears I decided to visit my parents because I don't see them often. I didn't hear from her all day so I didn't message to say I wouldn't be going round, however as stated I never really said I would be going round. It wasn't really on my mind. I just wanted to see my mum.

Anyway, the next day she texts me and I said sorry I went to see my mum. To which she replied 'fuck off'

I don't know why I just saw red and blocked her before I could say anything I might regret. I keep toying with the idea of unblocking and explaining myself. But then again she told me to fuck off. So I did! AIBU?

OP posts:
Readaboutyourself · 10/12/2022 20:37

YANBU although I would unblock and give her the opportunity to apologise

hattie43 · 10/12/2022 20:37

Friends don't tell each other to fuck off . Not in my world anyway . Keep her blocked .

OneDetectorist · 10/12/2022 20:38

You sound as bad as each other.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 10/12/2022 20:40

I’d just block her permanently.

Greentomatoes21 · 10/12/2022 20:40

You do not need to explain yourself!! She does! She told you to fuck off?? No "friend" tells another to fuck off, it's nasty and aggressive. Unless you normally talk like that to each other in a jokey way. I'd have seen red too!

Peasepuddingbloodycold · 10/12/2022 20:41

Normal people don’t speak to each other like this.

Original poster
gjkufbb · 10/12/2022 20:42

No I wouldn't speak to her like that. Especially if She'd just said she was having a hard time!

OP posts:
iloveruby · 10/12/2022 20:42

It doesn't sound as though the friendship was bringing much to your life even before she told you to fuck off. It is probably time to move on.

XenoBitch · 10/12/2022 20:42

Unblock her, but leave the ball in her court. Let her reach out instead.

abw94 · 10/12/2022 20:46

I don't really understand why people block people? Unless I don't want you to contact me ever again I don't see the point.

Unblock her to give her the opportunity to respond but don't text her. She sounds vile.

liarliarshortsonfire · 10/12/2022 20:50

I think maybe you should have told her you were taking a rain check, although you never really confirmed you would, you didn't say you wouldn't. However telling you to fuck off is a major over reaction and bloody rude. I'd not bother with her any longer, friends don't do this.

goldfishthecracker · 10/12/2022 20:56

You could have told her you weren't coming..

Baconsprouts · 10/12/2022 21:03

You should have told her you weren’t coming. I’d have mentally told you to fuck off too in her shoes

Stopthebusplease · 10/12/2022 21:03

I think maybe I'd have been clear with her that I wasn't going, and perhaps even text her before going to my Mums to make sure she knew, but even so, there really was no need for her to just tell you to fuck off. I wouldn't bother unblocking her if I were you, as it really sounds like you're getting nothing from the relationship anymore, but if you feel you want to, unblock her but DON'T text, let her come to you.

ganachee · 10/12/2022 21:03

Telling you to fuck off was out of order but I do think you could have texted to confirm you definitely weren’t coming.

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 10/12/2022 21:03

She sounds very immature and uncompassionate. You're pg, feeling rough and went to see your mum and that's what she replied? Nice. I don't blame you for blocking her.

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/12/2022 21:05

You were both wrong. And now you’ve ended the relationship completely so hopefully that’s a decision you’re sure of and will continue thinking is right. She might have stuff going on too and felt like shit about you not bothering to show up.

JoyBeorge · 10/12/2022 21:05

goldfishthecracker · 10/12/2022 20:56

You could have told her you weren't coming..

This is probably somewhere near the problem, communication. She probably thought you were well enough to go elsewhere but just couldn't be arsed with seeing her. It sounds like she just doesn't buy your excuse. You didn't exactly say you would go round but you didn't exactly say you wouldn't either, and just left her hanging. Hence no doubt why you were told to fuck off when you did eventually respond.

Devakai · 10/12/2022 21:09

I reckon she really wanted you to come and waited in all day.

Flapjackquack · 10/12/2022 21:10

So you tell her you are having a rough time, she invites you over to support you, you are very non committal and then go silent, next day she says oh where were you? and you reply I went to see my mum. I wouldn’t have told you to fuck off but I’d have thought it. Have you done this before? It would have taken you 5 seconds to say you didn’t feel up to it.

Cherrysherbet · 10/12/2022 21:11

Are you 12?

My2pence2day · 10/12/2022 21:11

OneDetectorist · 10/12/2022 20:38

You sound as bad as each other.

Yep. Friends don't treat each other like this

Snoken · 10/12/2022 21:14

Agree with pp. You totally took her for granted and messed her about. I too would have thought fuck you, but would have stopped myself from sending it. It’s really not nice to leave people hanging like that, and then tell them you went to see someone else instead of them. Very mean thing to do to someone who’s supposed to be your friend.

Judgyjudgy · 10/12/2022 21:14

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 10/12/2022 21:03

She sounds very immature and uncompassionate. You're pg, feeling rough and went to see your mum and that's what she replied? Nice. I don't blame you for blocking her.

Except she implied she might go over, then didn't bother to tell her she wouldn't and went to see her mum instead. I'd be annoyed too. Maybe not if she didn't come over (althoigh is it really so hard to text), but fact she went somewhere else instead

BonnesVacances · 10/12/2022 21:14

If that's your line and she crossed it, YANBU. I'd also never let someone tell me to fuck off and would do the same.

Some PP need to work on their boundaries.

Hope you feel better soon OP