Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I blocked my best friend

51 replies

gjkufbb · 10/12/2022 20:35

My best friend and I have had a few fallings out over the years but always resolved it.

However, I've been having a real rough time lately. I'm always expected to be sympathetic towards her when she has issues, I don't feel like I get much in return.

She invited me over to hers, which I didn't really accept the invitation. I just said I would see as I'm usually in bed early atm as I'm struggling with this pregnancy.

Anyway after a really bad day and being in tears I decided to visit my parents because I don't see them often. I didn't hear from her all day so I didn't message to say I wouldn't be going round, however as stated I never really said I would be going round. It wasn't really on my mind. I just wanted to see my mum.

Anyway, the next day she texts me and I said sorry I went to see my mum. To which she replied 'fuck off'

I don't know why I just saw red and blocked her before I could say anything I might regret. I keep toying with the idea of unblocking and explaining myself. But then again she told me to fuck off. So I did! AIBU?

OP posts:
saturnisturning · 10/12/2022 21:15

I have been pissed off if I were your friend. Could you really not send a text? I have a friend like you and she’s a bit self centred.

also, I feel like we’re not getting the full backstory. I think you’re as bad as each other.

Dorsetdingle77 · 10/12/2022 21:15

You should have told her you weren't going round. It sounds like a mis communication and she was expecting you. So I'd say you were rude to begin with but she was also rude to say fuck off. I think you both need to apologise to eachother and treat eachother with more consideration and respect.

Rainraindontgoaway · 10/12/2022 21:20

If you had told her you were not going round none of this would have happened. Yes, telling someone to fuck off is out of order but pregnant or not, a text to say you weren’t going should have been sent. Blocking her is childish, not sure what you to achieve from this.

Okly · 10/12/2022 21:31

Flapjackquack · 10/12/2022 21:10

So you tell her you are having a rough time, she invites you over to support you, you are very non committal and then go silent, next day she says oh where were you? and you reply I went to see my mum. I wouldn’t have told you to fuck off but I’d have thought it. Have you done this before? It would have taken you 5 seconds to say you didn’t feel up to it.

This.

I am sorry you feel crap but it was handled very poorly from both sides imo.

DrManhattan · 10/12/2022 21:34

Why would you just not text to say what your plans are? She sounds like she's had enough of you

Banoffe · 10/12/2022 21:35

I have a friend who does this, is very non-comital and then goes silent, she’s lucky she’s a brilliant friends in other ways. However it drives me mad, either say yes or no (I don’t mind when people say no, your friend probably wouldn’t either) just leaves someone confused about plans for the day and leaves you feeling like the other persons holding onto you incase they don’t get a better offer.

Totally get why you didn’t go and why you wanted to see your mum but you could have told her. She shouldn’t have told you to fuck off, but I do wonder if this is something you do quite often.

Falalalalaaah · 10/12/2022 21:35

Yanbu and I wouldn't unblock her unless you want to be friends with her. I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone who spoke to me like that (unless in jest obviously, which this wasn't)

AramintaLee · 10/12/2022 21:36

It sounds like she saw red in the same way that you did when you blocked her.

If there was any chance you might go over hers, I think it would have been courteous to let her know you wouldn't. I imagine she was hurt that you didn't think to let her know and that even though you didn't see her, you were happy enough to go and see your Mum.

What she said was really mean, but I get it. She probably should have just internalised it, taken a breath and then explained her feelings of rejection in a more calm way.

Leeds2 · 10/12/2022 21:40

I don't really understand why you didn't let her know you wouldn't be going over to her's.

MyHobbyIsDogging · 10/12/2022 21:41

You're both acting like Year 8 girls with blocking and fuck-off-ing. I can't believe adults do this.

rainyskylight · 10/12/2022 21:42

she reacted very emotionally but you messed her around. You can make all the excuses you want for your behaviour but you messed her around.

LabradorEyes · 10/12/2022 21:45

Are you really saying that you didn't bother confirming you were not accepting her invitation? Did you really not have 10 seconds to say "thanks for inviting me but I'm not up for it"

She was rude but you were even more rude. She has likely not made other plans as she was expecting you, so that's her evening wasted as well

daisy46 · 10/12/2022 21:55

You're a bad friend and did her a favor by blocking her.

FOJN · 10/12/2022 22:24

I can't believe grown women behave like this.

You should have told her you weren't going to visit. You attributed your initial ambivalence about the visit to needing to get to bed early but then you visited elsewhere and didn't let her know. You were rude and she was abusive.

The whole friendship sounds toxic so I'd let sleeping dog lie, no one needs such pointless drama in their lives. If you do go back for more then I think you owe each other an apology.

knockyknees · 11/12/2022 21:12

Telling you to 'fuck off' wasn't nice (and would definitely be a friendship breaker for me), but perhaps this situation was the last straw in a line of other things you've done that have pissed her off. You definitely should have told her you weren't coming over.

icanwearwhatiwant · 11/12/2022 21:32

knockyknees · 11/12/2022 21:12

Telling you to 'fuck off' wasn't nice (and would definitely be a friendship breaker for me), but perhaps this situation was the last straw in a line of other things you've done that have pissed her off. You definitely should have told her you weren't coming over.

This!
Telling you to Fuck off wasn't ok but you didn't exactly behave well towards her either. She invited you over and you were dismissive of her and left her dangling.
Perhaps this friendship is not working out for the two of you.

myfavouritemutant · 11/12/2022 23:00

I get her frustration. Of course she shouldn’t have told you to fuck off - but I actually find your behavior more rude. You basically said you might go over, then didn’t let her know either way, then went to your mum’s instead - that’s a pretty poor way to treat a friend.

HelllBaby · 11/12/2022 23:45

She invited you, you said you'd see as you're usually in bed early, then you went to your Mums instead. It was just the whole communication that was missing, I'm not surprised she was annoyed but obviously telling you to fuck off is ridiculous. You sound like you both can't really be bothered with the friendship though.

Lenald2512 · 18/08/2023 19:47

Do you keep letting her down?

saturnisturning · 19/08/2023 08:22

Lenald2512 · 18/08/2023 19:47

Do you keep letting her down?

This thread is 9 months old

purplebluediscorain · 19/08/2023 08:25

Doesn’t warrant a fuck off but you should’ve been clear with her you wasn’t going to go round. Communication is key in any relationship and you didn’t communicate properly either.

purplebluediscorain · 19/08/2023 08:26

Hahaha oops it’s on the active page!

Fishhhh · 19/08/2023 08:37

you left suggested plans in the air and failed to confirm either way, resulting in her awaiting your response and not knowing how to plan her evening. I think you were unintentionally thoughtless, so I’m not surprised she was cross. ‘Fuck off’ seems unnecessarily rude however, so not surprised you blocked her, although blocking does seem rather teen behaviour. I suggest you unblock her and apologise for leaving her hanging and explain you needed some TLC

IAmAnIdiot123 · 19/08/2023 09:05

BonnesVacances · 10/12/2022 21:14

If that's your line and she crossed it, YANBU. I'd also never let someone tell me to fuck off and would do the same.

Some PP need to work on their boundaries.

Hope you feel better soon OP

I find it interesting that people think being told to fuck off is crossing a line but wasting someone's entire evening by just not turning up without even a text is totally fine.

If I asked someone to come over and they said they will see, unless I recieved a message to say they were not coming, I would keep the time free. I would also pick up nice food and drink to enjoy together, look forward to seeing that person and put extra effort into my cleaning. To then just have someone not even bother to let me know they weren't coming is pretty shit behaviour I think.

itsmyp4rty · 19/08/2023 09:30

Do you often say 'you'll see' and then not let her know if it's a yes or no? You also said you might want to go to bed early but then went out to your mums. I'd be pissed off with you too.

Swipe left for the next trending thread