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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not be arsed about the football happening on my wedding day?

135 replies

MimosasInFrance · 10/12/2022 07:26

I'm getting married today. I've had about five people give me commiserations about the football. It hadn't even occurred to me to worry about it to be honest.

My DH to be is really worried it's going to disrupt the day and be a huge problem. Aibu to think this isn't really an issue? I honestly can't bring myself to worry about it. I feel like most people are polite and won't do anything rude but I'm not bothered if people are keeping an eye on the score.

Am I missing something? Is this likely to be really bad?

OP posts:
CantFindTheBeat · 10/12/2022 08:20

@underneaththeash

Unimportant to you.

Perhaps quite important to some of her guests.

Or perhaps not - who knows, I don't have the guest list!

Sirius3030 · 10/12/2022 08:22

YellowTreeHouse · 10/12/2022 07:33

It will be an issue as people are selfish are pathetic and prioritise grown men kicking a ball around.

As you’ve already seen, suggestions of providing a screen will be had 🙄

What a sad life you must have had. My commiserations.

Flowerfairy101 · 10/12/2022 08:22

This reminds me of BIL wedding when FIL, sat on the top table on a stage in full view of everyone, cracked out his ipad to put the champions league final on (muted, but still) and spent the whole of the speeches and dinner watching it. Was absolutely gobsmacked. Hope you have a wonderful day and that the football doesn't intefere with it!

ijustcouldntthinkofausername · 10/12/2022 08:24

@IdisagreeMrHochhauser sexism not intended. I'll most definitely be watching it tonight as I turn into a crazy hooligan when England plays 🤪 although DH will watch it but wont be too fussed really

Manners.. I personally wouldn't watch it at a wedding though

RaininSummer · 10/12/2022 08:24

I hope you have a lovely day and your guests have enough manners and sense not to stare at screens during your wedding reception.

gianfrancogorgonzola · 10/12/2022 08:27

Embrace it. I went to a wedding in the last World Cup when the bride turned into a bridezilla over policing phone use, we were all watching it under the tables and then used the heat as a reason to scarper and watch the second half properly.

England in the World Cup is far more important to most people than a wedding unless you are the one getting married.

electricmoccasins · 10/12/2022 08:29

PuttingDownRoots · 10/12/2022 07:35

About 12 years ao I was at a wedding where half the men disappeared into a room to watch rugby game for 2hrs...

I would make sure any important stuff doesn't happen in the match time. Maybe even some no shows from evening guests. But hopefully you will have a lovely day.

Good luck and congratulations

I remember this happening at the 2007 Rugby World Cup. I attended a wedding that day too. I remember the Bride’s mother was furious.

electricmoccasins · 10/12/2022 08:31

Flowerfairy101 · 10/12/2022 08:22

This reminds me of BIL wedding when FIL, sat on the top table on a stage in full view of everyone, cracked out his ipad to put the champions league final on (muted, but still) and spent the whole of the speeches and dinner watching it. Was absolutely gobsmacked. Hope you have a wonderful day and that the football doesn't intefere with it!

This has left me speechless.

SpicyFoodRocks · 10/12/2022 08:31

I am not a football fan but all these comments about grown men kicking a ball around are getting quite tedious. Yes I do not get the hype, but it is the national sport and many people are interested in the World Cup and especially in an England match. It is not just ‘men kicking a ball’; it means more to some people.

l went to a wedding some time back which clashed with an England match and loads of people disappeared to their hotel rooms to watch it 😐 So I can see that a laptop or screen somewhere might be a compromise worth considering.

Anyway have a wonderful wedding day! I will not be watching the football and intend to go to IKEA with my friend as we are hoping it will be nice and empty!

RocketIceLollie · 10/12/2022 08:31

Honestly I think you're be fighting a losing battle if you try and block the football tonight. Embrace it and integrate it into the day. Surely guests enjoying themselves is more good than people sloping off early? You will get the attention during the actual wedding. The game is two hours long after the ceremony. After the game everyone will be able to go on the dancefloor as per.

SirMingeALot · 10/12/2022 08:32

You sound quite reasonable about it OP, so you'll likely be fine. I wouldn't bother providing a screen unless you're in a venue where there's a pub showing it next door or something, but there are likely to be some people streaming it on their phones in the absence of anything else. 7 til 9 is a fairly quiet time at most weddings I've been to, as in meal finished/ing and then the lull before the evening reception starts. What's your timetable going to be?

OoooohMatron · 10/12/2022 08:35

Sirius3030 · 10/12/2022 08:22

What a sad life you must have had. My commiserations.

Show quote history

Don't let this poster wind you up, she's always popping up to show her disdain for football. I'd love to hear what 'non-pathetic' interests she has 🙄

WandaWonder · 10/12/2022 08:35

I am not saying the OP!!! But I have know people having to genuine tantrums if every minute detail does not go exactly the way they had planned, to me the reception is for everyone

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 10/12/2022 08:35

Pineconederby · 10/12/2022 08:18

I can’t think of anything more rude than going to someone else’s wedding and then getting my phone out to use like a TV! Normally Mumsnet is so hot on manners too. Can you imagine the reaction if half the guests sat and watched Eastenders? Plain rude. Football is no more special than any other programme 🙄 and certainly no more important than a friend’s wedding!

It's very different to Eastenders. This doesn't happen often. It's understandable some people may want to watch it.

BabyFour2023 · 10/12/2022 08:36

Get a screen if you want to keep guests there or present in the wedding and not watching on their phones. Hope you have a lovely day OP

Luellie · 10/12/2022 08:36

yellowtotebag · 10/12/2022 07:38

Speaking as someone who got married on the day of a major match which everyone wanted to watch. I definitely wouldn’t be getting a screen - if you’ve spent ages sorting out decorations and flowers for your venue it’ll just ruin it!

Quite a few of the men at my wedding put it on their phones to gather round and when it came on. They continued to socialise, propped their phones up on the tables and chatted with each other etc. Still popped up and down to the bar and dance floor as and when. They by no means slinked off to nearby pubs! I literally couldn’t have given two hoots. I didn’t even notice that they were watching it until I went over to say hello. You will genuinely be too busy to even notice - your attitude is spot on! Exact same as me. At the end of the day I was getting married and I just didn’t care about anything else!

Have an AMAZING day OP, I promise the football will be the last thing on your mind! Flowers

I agree with this. I wouldn't mind people watching on phones, that doesn't seem too disruptive and they will still socialise to an extent. No chance would I be getting a big screen though.

Anyone who left to go to an pub to watch it would not be in my good books tbh

Slimmer2018 · 10/12/2022 08:39

I got married on a day England were playing (1996) a big chunk of the men gathered in the hotel bar to watch it on the screen there, I didn’t notice to be honest 😂

SobranieCocktail · 10/12/2022 08:40

Pineconederby · 10/12/2022 08:18

I can’t think of anything more rude than going to someone else’s wedding and then getting my phone out to use like a TV! Normally Mumsnet is so hot on manners too. Can you imagine the reaction if half the guests sat and watched Eastenders? Plain rude. Football is no more special than any other programme 🙄 and certainly no more important than a friend’s wedding!

Completely agree! If I saw someone watching the footie at a wedding I'd think they're a mannerless oaf.

napody · 10/12/2022 08:41

SaySomethingMan · 10/12/2022 07:48

Not sure where you are or how you’ve drawn the conclusion in your last paragraph.

England seems to have a tangible chance this year so the interest around me, on the media etc is huge.

Around the world, even more so because football is such an accessible and therefore, widely-played sport.

Show quote history

Agree, and even without England having a chance this has been the most exciting world cup I can remember- almost every game (bar England USA!) has been full of twists, turns, unexpected moments and outcomes, fantastic goals.
But I digress- OP your attitude is spot on. Just relax, let people keep an eye on the game IF they want to and have a wonderful day!

MajorCarolDanvers · 10/12/2022 08:42

Just accept that there will be a small group who will sneak away to find a screen and a larger group who won't but will check those phones a lot.

SleeplessWB · 10/12/2022 08:44

SobranieCocktail · 10/12/2022 08:40

Completely agree! If I saw someone watching the footie at a wedding I'd think they're a mannerless oaf.

Show quote history

Absolutely, I cannot imagine a single one of my friends would behave like this, it's so rude.

Orangepolentacake · 10/12/2022 08:44

notanothertakeaway · 10/12/2022 07:38

Journalist fishing for a story?

I think it's naive to think that sports fans will just check their phones every now and again. I had a big birthday party and lots of guests disappeared to the bar for the match. I was disappointed. with hindsight, j dont take it so personally

I get that journos do that but what could possibly be the story here for a journo? “Wedding takes place on same day as England match”?

BadLad · 10/12/2022 08:45

Againstmachine · 10/12/2022 08:01

it’s fine to say you aren’t bothered, but the majority of people are

This isn't actually true, viewing figures so far have been a lot less than a majority.

You’re talking about in England, right? Because FIFA seem pleased with viewing figures elsewhere.

www.fifa.com/tournaments/mens/worldcup/qatar2022/news/fifa-world-cup-delivering-record-breaking-tv-audience-numbers

mummyh2016 · 10/12/2022 08:47

I'd just push the cake cutting and first dance back until 9pm. Hope you have the most amazing day.

Luellie · 10/12/2022 08:47

I'm surprised by people asserting that the "majority" of people will be interested. Sure, lots of people will be. But the literal majority? I genuinely haven't heard anyone I know talk about this match. I don't think I'd know it was happening if it weren't for seeing a few threads on mumsnet. I don't watch TV news, my news is personalised on my phone to the important breaking news type alerts and topics that interest me. I've not seen any mention on social media, presumably because none of my friends have posted about it.

I'm going to a casual family get together tonight where most people will stay overnight, and I'm sure it will be put on the tv and a few of the men will want to watch it. But in all the discussions and group chat chatter going on in the lead up, it literally hasn't been mentioned once.