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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you’ve got to be a bit dense to do this?

110 replies

WarmBrownEyes · 09/12/2022 23:52

Show off your new £400 shoes on social media when you’re setting up an online auction to raise funds for your loss of earnings while your child has therapy? Not to mention there’s also an online fundraiser under way currently sitting at five figures.

OP posts:
Original poster
WarmBrownEyes · 09/12/2022 23:57

Oops, didn’t mean to make it a poll.

OP posts:
Keyansier · 10/12/2022 00:02

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lookersnoopy · 10/12/2022 00:03

What's the five figure fundraiser for?

Mouldyfoodhelp · 10/12/2022 00:05

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You don't think it's a bad look to be begging for money whilst showing off you have spare money ?

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 10/12/2022 00:18

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Your opinion is ridiculous if you think spending £400 on shoes while asking people for money to cover your earnings is ok

DuplicateUserName · 10/12/2022 00:19

Did the person buy the shoes themselves?

If so, I hope you raised this with them instead of 'being so shocked I didn't say anything at the time', or whatever the usual Mumsnet line is?

RampantIvy · 10/12/2022 00:22

Keyansier has a habit of posting unpopular opinions on Mumsnet.
Or maybe she is the person the OP is referring to.

pinneddownbytabbies · 10/12/2022 00:24

£400 on shoes??? Cripes.

<misses point of thread>

doorheckk · 10/12/2022 00:27

I can't see anything wrong with anything what you wrote about the other person but I think you sound absolutely utterly jealous and bitter, just IMO

they walk among us 🤔

steff13 · 10/12/2022 00:29

When did she buy the shoes? If she's had them for a couple years, I wouldn't think one thing had anything to do with the other.

Original poster
WarmBrownEyes · 10/12/2022 00:31

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Not jealous, no. Maybe a bit bitter, but that’s because I donated to the crowd-funding fundraiser and also pledged a prize for the auction she’s organizing.
Her (teenage) child was involved in a serious accident requiring several weeks in hospital as well as ongoing therapy at home. Both fundraisers were set up to pay their living costs while the parents were unable to work while the child was in hospital.
Not to drip feed, she’s also been bidding on items on someone else’s fundraiser.

If she wanted to shove it all up her nose, that would be her decision and business but I just think you’ve got to be a bit thick or insensitive to ask for money AND show off your very expensive footwear.

OP posts:
Original poster
WarmBrownEyes · 10/12/2022 00:32

Shoes were bought today with the tagline that she thought she deserved a treat.

OP posts:
Original poster
WarmBrownEyes · 10/12/2022 00:33

Treated herself, I meant to add in my previous post

OP posts:
Irishfarmer · 10/12/2022 00:43

WarmBrownEyes · 10/12/2022 00:32

Shoes were bought today with the tagline that she thought she deserved a treat.

wow! She deserves a treat alright I'm sure it's a stressful time but you know maybe a take away not £400 shoes

Orangepolentacake · 10/12/2022 00:45

RampantIvy · 10/12/2022 00:22

Keyansier has a habit of posting unpopular opinions on Mumsnet.
Or maybe she is the person the OP is referring to.

Keyansier is a man

DuplicateUserName · 10/12/2022 00:46

WarmBrownEyes · 10/12/2022 00:33

Treated herself, I meant to add in my previous post

And what have you said to her about it?

I mean you won't be the only person annoyed by this.

Original poster
WarmBrownEyes · 10/12/2022 00:49

DuplicateUserName · 10/12/2022 00:46

And what have you said to her about it?

I mean you won't be the only person annoyed by this.

Show quote history

Nothing yet. I’m turning it over in my mind because I don’t want to regret what I say.
Would it be petty to withdraw my offer of a prize or should I just do it and never give her another penny going forward?

OP posts:
Tigger7654 · 10/12/2022 00:53

I'd withdraw my offer Tbh, cheeky cow can take the shoes back to cover it. A treat absolutely she deserves, £400 shoes while pleading poverty is proper CF behaviour.

SugarNspices · 10/12/2022 01:04

Really sounds like she has an entitled attitude. Yes she's a cf.

NumberTheory · 10/12/2022 01:06

I would be very tempted to withdraw my pledge for the auction. But I think whether I actually did or not would depend on what sort of friend she was and what the ongoing implications of very bluntly canceling that friendship would be likely to be.

It’s also worth remembering that even though this is poor behaviour, it doesn’t mean she isn’t suffering because of her son. I have a friend who makes utterly absurd, occasionally disastrous spending decisions when she’s stressed. She ends up regretting it and having to cut back on something else to compensate. I realised early on in our friendship so never put myself in a position where I’d be annoyed to find out she’s bought something expensive and frivolous. She’s a lovely woman in most ways, but she has a bad stress coping mechanism. If her son were in hospital, she’d probably spend money she can’t afford. She’s still lovely. She’d still be as devastated about her son needing care as any other mother. And she’d still need emotional support. I just wouldn’t ever give her money I wasn’t happy to see spent on £400 shoes.

Allsnotwell · 10/12/2022 01:08

With draw the offer and say you need a new pair of boots.

Judgyjudgy · 10/12/2022 01:09

Dense and not very ethical either Hmm

My2pence2day · 10/12/2022 01:11

Allsnotwell · 10/12/2022 01:08

With draw the offer and say you need a new pair of boots.

Ha! This!! What a CF!

stopthebarking · 10/12/2022 01:39

Definitely withdraw the offer. If they asked, I'd tell them why: You've reconsidered, because you deserve a treat!

IDontWantToBeAPie · 10/12/2022 01:47

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You don't see anything wrong with someone begging for money and then spending £400 on shoes?? I'm fairly well off and £400 shoes are still at the extreme end of money.

If you're desperate to have money for your child to ducking live you out every penny into their treatment not buying manolos while asking poorer strangers to fund your ticket