Page 9 | to be utterly sick of this maddeningly nonsensical bit of corporate wankspeak?

QueueEtwo · 09/12/2022 20:57

My workplace is currently 'Getting after'

We need to be getting after more staff!
We need to be getting after more clients!

We need to be getting after - you bloody name it!

Came from a new boss & now everyone is saying it!

Driving me nuts!

mumda · 09/12/2022 20:59

gcs.civilservice.gov.uk/guidance/marketing/delivering-government-campaigns/guide-to-campaign-planning-oasis/ I read some of this last Friday instead of doing any work.

OhChristmasTreeOhChristmasTreeFaLaLa · 09/12/2022 21:00

Ahhh my work loves this shit, I mostly sit laughing to myself at the nonsense. There's a couple of people in my team and their entire job is to just make ppt presentations littered with this shit. One bloke can't actually talk normally, everything he says is something along these lines 🤣

Bananaman123 · 09/12/2022 21:00

Let’s circle back
can we engage the other team?
will this be a showstopper?
across the piste and across the piece used ever day in our place

Canthave2manycats · 09/12/2022 21:01

Burgoo · 09/12/2022 19:28

@Willmafrockfit

"oh agree
agile !
what is that!"

Apparently we now need to limber up before a day in the office

Oh god this irritates the crap out of me!! We are going to have an "agile working policy"... WTF can't they just call it "WFH"???? Grrr.

Justanotherlurker · 09/12/2022 21:03

Others from me as I've had a bad day.

extraordinary breadth

thought leadership
Hyperconverged Infrastructure
Anything to do with blockchain/NFT and machine learning from a sales rep.

And no Rob, you are not currating content for the weekly roundup, you are copy and pasting some useless shit we can already see on Linkdin/intranet, everyone already has a rule to move it to deleted items anyway...

🤐

Willmafrockfit · 09/12/2022 21:03

in other news Netherlands have just Levelled up, against argentina

XingMing · 09/12/2022 21:04

Due diligence has a legal meaning and framework. It means you investigate and interrogate the statements made during any legally-binding transaction. So if I tell you that I earned £!m from selling sea shells last year, you can ask me for evidence of the shells I sold, where they came from, how they were harvested, who I sold them to, and any other information. Due diligence is how a business discloses confidential commercial information in privacy. If you don't understand that it's an essential safeguard, then you probably need to do something in the public sector.

Bananaman123 · 09/12/2022 21:04

Oh a brainstorm and brain dump!

randomusername666 · 09/12/2022 21:05

MossyOilTank · 09/12/2022 19:00

What is with the phrase "the piece" ... for example, "it's the piece around engagement with stakeholders" ... "the piece on communicating key messages" ... "the piece about maximizing outputs". IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

I think they're shortening the expression... 'A PIECE OF WORK'.... which I also hate. It's a wanky public sector bit of bollox.

Canthave2manycats · 09/12/2022 21:07

Lesserspottedmama · 09/12/2022 20:12

‘Close of play’ is horrendous.
‘Going forward’

This thread is giving me PTSD.

I hate "close of play" or "close of business"... often abbreviated to COP or COB!

JustLyra · 09/12/2022 21:07

XingMing · 09/12/2022 21:04

Due diligence has a legal meaning and framework. It means you investigate and interrogate the statements made during any legally-binding transaction. So if I tell you that I earned £!m from selling sea shells last year, you can ask me for evidence of the shells I sold, where they came from, how they were harvested, who I sold them to, and any other information. Due diligence is how a business discloses confidential commercial information in privacy. If you don't understand that it's an essential safeguard, then you probably need to do something in the public sector.

Your snide nastiness says far more about you than it does anyone else

Willmafrockfit · 09/12/2022 21:08

@XingMing
it is all about context
ok?

randomusername666 · 09/12/2022 21:10

ErrolTheDragon · 09/12/2022 19:23

“The piece” is just a shortened way of saying “the piece of work” .. of course it means something

That's hardly something that needs shortening, but if it did 'the work' would be better than making it into a Scottish sandwich.

A piece of work is just a job that needs doing, but piece of work sounds like they have a lot going on and the piece is just a bit of it

Remagirl · 09/12/2022 21:10

Segway!

Speedywallpaper · 09/12/2022 21:10

Has anyone mentioned 'speak to' as in 'Fred can speak to this' ?
I heard a BBC broadcaster use it on air recently 😦

XingMing · 09/12/2022 21:10

I worked quite hard until I was 50, and I'm now 67. In my completely private and very humble opinion, the world has just got very stupid.

humdingle · 09/12/2022 21:10

Willmafrockfit · 09/12/2022 20:45

but keep on pointing it out why dont you!
or just - you know - move forward

Show quote history

What are you on about Wilma? I’ve posted once - hardly keeping on pointing it out. Get over yourself, going on at anyone who dares to say that some of these are not really corporate wankspeak 😂

Willmafrockfit · 09/12/2022 21:10

we all know that these jargon speech do mean things in other places, but they have moved into corporate talk where they make little sense.
however, moving on,
this thread should be lighthearted and your clever explanation was unnecessary.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 09/12/2022 21:12

Willmafrockfit · 09/12/2022 21:03

in other news Netherlands have just Levelled up, against argentina

Ah, yes, I did see them engage in robust discussion around the piece.

m00rfarm · 09/12/2022 21:12

FermisLeftFoot · 09/12/2022 19:23

Oh god, someone at my work bangs on about where they have stored ‘assets’. They mean images, for social media. Makes me die inside.

Actually, an asset can be an image, a document, a scan, a spreadsheet.

Willmafrockfit · 09/12/2022 21:13

NeverDropYourMooncup · 09/12/2022 21:12

Ah, yes, I did see them engage in robust discussion around the piece.

Show quote history

ha ha

DillDanding · 09/12/2022 21:15

Actual lol about ‘due diligence’ being considered corporate wank speak.

Willmafrockfit · 09/12/2022 21:16

<<sits on hands>>

JudgeJ · 09/12/2022 21:17

BCBird · 09/12/2022 20:15

Wank speak in education too🙄🤣

Oh yes and it's been there for many years. The Deputy Head of the high school I taught in was the first person I met who so consciously used it, he actually said Let's drop this in the toaster and see what pops up, never seen 70 teachers trying so hard not to laugh.