to be utterly sick of this maddeningly nonsensical bit of corporate wankspeak?

[MossyOilTank]

What is with the phrase "the piece" ... for example, "it's the piece around engagement with stakeholders" ... "the piece on communicating key messages" ... "the piece about maximizing outputs". IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

And "reach out" when you mean "talk" or "contact" should be punishable with death.

I’ve started trying to see how much nonsense I can talk before someone mentions it in some meetings. Today I suggested to a DM that something was ‘one to throw over the fence and run away’. 🤣

Oh god, I recently said to someone “I want to be able to celebrate your success” when what I meant was “what the fuck are you doing with your time?”

I used to work in insurance and one phrase that irked me was when they would make potentially risky decisions and people in the team would refer to "going a bit cavalier with this decision"

I would imagine it was! , DR Proof and future proof will never not be a wanky term though.

@Keylimewhy

I'm with you.

Come on everyone, we need to get our ducks in a row 🦆

Touch base!
🤢

To be clear - I know they're assets! I was commenting to the poster who thought it was a wanky term.

I have an asset register and everything (nods knowingly!).

but keep on pointing it out why dont you!
or just - you know - move forward

Paradigm shift - I get a physical tic when I hear this, usually cos its my no good, useless, absolutely out of his depth, knob of a senior "manager" who says it.

I do from time to time use “Going forward…”

”Going forward let’s…”

”Going forward, can we…”

I almost always ACTUALLY mean “the way you’ve done it is shit”.

We need the deep dives so we can triangulate the information.

Barf!

I have noticed the term "lean into" being used more and more these days. No idea where it came from. Also "one hundred percent", which a few years ago you would not hear.

It adds more flavour to generic words.

‘We can't exactly go back in time, can we Gareth?’ 🤣

I once gave a client advice and she said “I’ll put that in my thought cloud” (a polite way to disregard what I’d suggested I guess). Trouble is I now use it ironically but it’s only a matter of time until it crosses over in my mind to general use!

Switching gears. I was on a work call with the US and the facilitator switched gears about 15 times.

‘Deliverables matrix’ (to do list)
’brandscape’ (product area)
‘Pump priming pot’ (project start up fund)
’vertical challenge framework’ (fuck only knows)

Legitimate terms in one industry still end up being utter wankspeak used in a different industry and setting.

Amazing that some people think being unable to see that makes the others the idiots…

I actually really like “lean in”.

My old manager would tell me to “lean in” to something or someone and I knew exactly what he meant without being able to put it into words. I don’t think he coined it, but I did like him saying it. It made me feel weirdly valued.

Valued! Ha. This might be more wank speak. Oh god, I’m in too deep.

Exactly.

Watching Harry & Megan documentary and Harry has really embraced the 'piece' jargon. 😂

Urgh gawd, this thread makes me cringe! Last week I had to break it to one of our most highly regarded technical directors that I couldn’t understand a word of what he was trying to get across in the report section he asked me to review cos it was written with so much jargon. It also wasn’t written in full sentences which wasn’t helping either! He took it quite well to be fair.

‘Do the work’ but not actually related to actually doing or delivering any proper work. It’s a nebulous concept applied to stuff with no remit