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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell her she's an inconsiderate c**t?

160 replies

babaganooshh · 09/12/2022 07:35

A few weeks ago I invited a friend & her child on a day out with me and my child. (I had already paid for it) I said all she needed to do was show up.
I arranged a day and time to pick her up, I even messaged her the night before saying I was looking forward to spending the day all together, as our children have been best friends since before they could walk.

The morning of, I parked outside and text her saying I was here. No reply.
I rang her, she said oh my god I thought it was tomorrow (laughing) I said it's ok I'll wait in the car so you can get ready.

She rang back 5 mins later saying she wasn't going to be coming as she hadn't sorted a booster seat out (despite me texting the night before asking if she had sorted said booster seat)
By this point, my daughter was crying her eyes out in the car.
I hung up on my friend, & took my daughter anyway. She sent me a string of messages saying I had once cancelled on her etc.
We eventually made up, & both decided we should make more of an effort with each other.

Fast forward a week, I invite her and her daughter to my child's party at our house. She read the message but didn't reply, nor did she show up or wish my daughter a happy birthday.

A week later, she put a load of pictures on Facebook of her own daughters party. That stung a lot. I messaged & asked why she hadn't thought to reply to me or invite us?

She gave me a long excuse about having a viral infection bla bla bla.

Anyway, am I being unreasonable to call her up on it all or do I just drop her completely? She makes out like she's such a good friend etc, yet behind closed doors she's an inconsiderate cow. That's twice in the space of a month she's pulled a dick move. If she doesn't like me anymore then why can't she grow some balls and communicate with me?

OP posts:
MyHobbyIsDogging · 10/12/2022 19:48

ZenNudist · 09/12/2022 07:44

Just drop her like a stone and don't stoop to name calling. If she contacts you just say you've been really busy but we must make plans at some point. Repeat. She will get the message.

Perfect advice.

blacksax · 10/12/2022 19:52

She's not flaky, or inconsiderate, or even a friend. She's a bitch.

FrankiPanki · 10/12/2022 19:54

She is NOT your friend!

Onedayatatime22 · 10/12/2022 20:02

Move on - but make sure she pays you any money she owes you first!

Poodles23 · 10/12/2022 20:07

Dump her, she’s no friend☹️

oosha · 10/12/2022 20:15

Honestly if you make any more effort with this person then more fool you, that’s not respectful behaviour and it’s down right selfish, ignorant and just plain horrible. Honestly get rid, it will be the best thing you ever do.

CuppaAndABiccie · 10/12/2022 20:22

I think it is a Maya Angelou quote….

”When someone shows you their true self, believe them the first time”

I wish I could have given my younger self that advice - I wasted decades of putting up with exactly this sort of inconsiderate selfish shit from a so-called friend. Have now drawn a firm line under that chapter of my life, after realising this was definitely not a friend - just someone I’d known for a really long time.

TortolaParadise · 10/12/2022 20:26

drop her!
sad though

BaconChops · 10/12/2022 20:55

She’s not a friend. Friends don’t treat each other like that. Get rid.

JayBayTay · 10/12/2022 21:09

Thank you!! I’m glad someone said it!!!😀

Fluffmum · 10/12/2022 21:25

Just leave it. She’s not worth it

SofaSurferfinder · 10/12/2022 21:41

I’ve had friends like this before , makes you angry and upset - I don’t have time for people like this , needless to say I don’t speak to her anymore and don’t intend too - I didn’t block her as I feel that just shows your bothered .

Gemcat1 · 10/12/2022 21:43

The problem is that your daughters are friends, would your DD be upset if she didn't see the other girl again? If yes, then arrange to do things with the daughter but not invite the mother. It can just be ordinary play dates. Don't worry about your "friend", she's not a nice person and you will be better off without her in your life as such.

Marshmallowkisses · 10/12/2022 22:18

You become like the people you hang out with the most. Do you really want to be like her? She's certainly not a good friend. Ignore her, she's not worth it!

MoonRoseofThorns · 10/12/2022 22:26

BUSI8

Dittosaw · 10/12/2022 22:33

Yea friends are meant to like each other, talk to each other and support each other. She is deliberately trying to hurt your feelings.

Don’t give her the satisfaction of a reaction. Let her wonder if you’ve dumped her or not

userxx · 10/12/2022 22:34

Yep, tell her she's an inconsistent cunt then delete her number. You're daughter will find many more best friends.

AutumnCrow · 10/12/2022 22:37

babaganooshh · 09/12/2022 19:42

@Eyerollcentral I am probably more angry than the average person would be, I'm really not sure why.

You sound more hurt and puzzled to me.

Maybe she's met someone. A bloke she's keeping secret, or a new 'cuckoo' friend. Who knows? But her behaviour has been very poor indeed.

jtaeapa · 10/12/2022 22:38

Sounds like you should ghost her

hiyaqwerty · 10/12/2022 23:04

Seems like there is more to it. Did she purposely act like she forgot to get one over you because you had once cancelled on her?
Either way, I would let this friendship go, she's too flaky.

Blowthemandown · 10/12/2022 23:11

@babaganooshh hope she paid back the money she borrowed

Proteinmuch · 10/12/2022 23:16

I would just let the friendship fizzle out.. you'll be better off not thinking about making the effort or why she doesn't want to make the effort. You'll see how quick you can move on and forget :)

DonnaB5859 · 10/12/2022 23:24

You don’t have to DO ANYTHING Just let it be. Don’t make any more overtures. Time will give you your next steps.

VioletPickles · 10/12/2022 23:32

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 09/12/2022 09:44

It's okay. We're all adults here. We're allowed to say "cunt".

Agreed. It’s quite a useful word, given the circumstances.

allboysherebutme · 10/12/2022 23:34

Don't bother with her, this is not a friend. X

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