Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her she's an inconsiderate c**t?

160 replies

babaganooshh · 09/12/2022 07:35

A few weeks ago I invited a friend & her child on a day out with me and my child. (I had already paid for it) I said all she needed to do was show up.
I arranged a day and time to pick her up, I even messaged her the night before saying I was looking forward to spending the day all together, as our children have been best friends since before they could walk.

The morning of, I parked outside and text her saying I was here. No reply.
I rang her, she said oh my god I thought it was tomorrow (laughing) I said it's ok I'll wait in the car so you can get ready.

She rang back 5 mins later saying she wasn't going to be coming as she hadn't sorted a booster seat out (despite me texting the night before asking if she had sorted said booster seat)
By this point, my daughter was crying her eyes out in the car.
I hung up on my friend, & took my daughter anyway. She sent me a string of messages saying I had once cancelled on her etc.
We eventually made up, & both decided we should make more of an effort with each other.

Fast forward a week, I invite her and her daughter to my child's party at our house. She read the message but didn't reply, nor did she show up or wish my daughter a happy birthday.

A week later, she put a load of pictures on Facebook of her own daughters party. That stung a lot. I messaged & asked why she hadn't thought to reply to me or invite us?

She gave me a long excuse about having a viral infection bla bla bla.

Anyway, am I being unreasonable to call her up on it all or do I just drop her completely? She makes out like she's such a good friend etc, yet behind closed doors she's an inconsiderate cow. That's twice in the space of a month she's pulled a dick move. If she doesn't like me anymore then why can't she grow some balls and communicate with me?

OP posts:
Worriednow21 · 09/12/2022 08:53

Just forget about her, she is not a friend.

Theunamedcat · 09/12/2022 09:02

I would block her off your phone and ignore her from now on she really isn't nice

whoareyouinviting · 09/12/2022 09:03

Drop drop drop...

DunkingMyDonuts · 09/12/2022 09:05

Why would you NOT drop her@babaganooshh ?

There must be a reason why you are asking the ruddy obvious

LargeglassofRosePlease · 09/12/2022 09:06

No need for that language. Silence is golden.

She is not your friend. Not one bit and you’ll do best to remember that.

Original poster
babaganooshh · 09/12/2022 09:06

I haven't dropped her because we had a conversation after the day out incident and we both agreed to try more and message more/arrange more play dates.

OP posts:
NicLondon1 · 09/12/2022 09:07

She is just not that into you!
I'd move on.

Readaboutyourself · 09/12/2022 09:10

She is communicating really weakly through her crap actions. Drop her

butterfliedtwo · 09/12/2022 09:12

She's not going to arrange other play dates. The birthday party should be all the clue you need.

As PP said: actions not words matter.

BringMeTea · 09/12/2022 09:13

She is a nasty woman. Never contact her again.

TheplacewhereIwant2b · 09/12/2022 09:15

Fedupofdiets · 09/12/2022 07:40

She's not your friend.

^This.

nomcachange · 09/12/2022 09:16

DROP

sounds like she did the first one intentionally as revenge. I don’t know how anyone could have the gaul to do that personally, she must be a proper cunt.

nomcachange · 09/12/2022 09:17

Gall! Need another coffee

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/12/2022 09:24

Just drop her.

She's not worth the energy of your anger - in fact she might be hoping for it and be looking forward to a public slanging match.

Keep your dignity, ignore her, and if she says anything don't rise to it. A simple "I don't think there's anything to discuss." will be enough.

She is indeed a See you next Tuesday, but don't lower yourself to say it.

CoopsMalloops · 09/12/2022 09:24

babaganooshh · 09/12/2022 09:06

I haven't dropped her because we had a conversation after the day out incident and we both agreed to try more and message more/arrange more play dates.

She didn’t mean it OP.

Get the message. Move on now. Sorry you are hurt.

Original poster
babaganooshh · 09/12/2022 09:24

I am going to completely drop her.

I'm not stupid I know a hint when I see one, but she said to me only a couple of weeks ago how much she values our friendship etc etc? Why would she bother saying that if she had no intention of trying?

OP posts:
Emotionalsupportviper · 09/12/2022 09:25

nomcachange · 09/12/2022 09:16

DROP

sounds like she did the first one intentionally as revenge. I don’t know how anyone could have the gaul to do that personally, she must be a proper cunt.

sounds like she did the first one intentionally as revenge

I thought the same.

You can do with our that degree of childish spite in your life OP

MatronicO6 · 09/12/2022 09:29

babaganooshh · 09/12/2022 09:24

I am going to completely drop her.

I'm not stupid I know a hint when I see one, but she said to me only a couple of weeks ago how much she values our friendship etc etc? Why would she bother saying that if she had no intention of trying?

Cause it's easier to say things than actually do things.

Drop her.

wednesday32 · 09/12/2022 09:30

move on with your life. You have tried to make an effort and for whatever reason she does not regard the friendship in the same way you do. Spend your time and energy on people that give a shit. x

Rainbowdrops2021 · 09/12/2022 09:32

I’m sorry but you didn’t get an invite to her kids party which means you either aren’t her friend or her dd doesn’t like yours. She’s gone about all of this in a really shitty way but there’s no way you’d just forget to invite your close friends but manage to remember to invite other guests. Maybe she felt on the spot when she mentioned meeting more/ making more effort. I think just let it go quietly and stop all contact.

PeonyRose80 · 09/12/2022 09:32

No friends are better than toxic friends and repeat…. this is a toxic friendship

Brightstarowl · 09/12/2022 09:37

I'd have nothing more to do with her.

billy1966 · 09/12/2022 09:37

OP, it really isn't good to allow your daughter to be treated this way and see her mother treated this way eith.

This woman clearly isn't your friend.

Normal friends do not behave like this.

People with healthy boundaries would not go back for more having been treated like this even once.

Work on your boundaries and assertiveness.

It will benefit you and your child going forward.

No conversation required, just cease all contact.

Good luck.

DunkingMyDonuts · 09/12/2022 09:38

babaganooshh · 09/12/2022 09:24

I am going to completely drop her.

I'm not stupid I know a hint when I see one, but she said to me only a couple of weeks ago how much she values our friendship etc etc? Why would she bother saying that if she had no intention of trying?

Because you are useful.

It is good to have people there as backups when you need them if you are a CF

viques · 09/12/2022 09:40

babaganooshh · 09/12/2022 09:24

I am going to completely drop her.

I'm not stupid I know a hint when I see one, but she said to me only a couple of weeks ago how much she values our friendship etc etc? Why would she bother saying that if she had no intention of trying?

Because when people are put on the spot they say things they don’t mean. The saying “ actions mean more than words” is very true. She is showing you clearly what she thinks of your friendship, take the hint and step back.