Okay, I’m prepared to be told my daughter needs to toughen up and I’m getting too involved but I’ve had her on the phone in absolute bits.
My 18 year old DD moved to Canada 8 weeks ago, on a temporary travel visa. Got a job in a hotel with staff accommodation, just near the hotel. We were so, so proud of her and thought it was a brilliant opportunity. They really liked her during interview.
She hasn’t had the best luck of it, and got struck down with influenza a week in, requiring an A&E visit (she’s insured, thank god). She was first taken ill at work, having fainted, they allowed her to leave to seek medical attention but nobody offered her a lift. Not saying anybody owes her a lift, but I think it’s common decency. She had a week off, was pressured into returning whilst still ill. Unfortunately the virus has caused some long-term side effects for her, such as thyroid problems, and she’s been struggling.
Yesterday, she had a performance review. She has had no feedback previously, had no inclination that anything was wrong. The review was terrible. I have seen a screenshot of the written review she was presented with, these are direct quoted:
“X seems to lack basic social skills, struggling in interactions with guests. She is robotic. We suggest X seeks support for this and an assessment.” (This seems to be implying that my daughter has ASD or something? She certainly doesn’t! Has always had many friends and been fine in school and other customer facing jobs! ASD has never, ever been on anybody’s radar. How can they think it’s okay to say this in a work review?)
“X causes other staff members stress due to her incapabilities. Newer staff members are a lot more capable than X. X is a hindrance on every shift she is on.”
“X is always claiming to be ill, and has no concept of basic punctuality.”
Among other stuff. She was the told she was dismissed, and had to be out of the staff accommodation that night with nowhere else to go. She called me in absolute bits. Luckily she has savings and has gone to a hotel, but it’s in a very expensive area and hotel is £350 a night. She has about £2000 left. She is trying to find another job with staff accommodation last minute but if nothing comes up, she will have to book a flight home. I have told her that once her savings get down to below £1000, she needs to come home as we don’t have the means to send her money for an emergency flight back on once she can no longer afford the hotel. So likely she will be home in the next few days.
DD is devastated about the work review and feels it went too far, and that it was a character assassination. Maybe it isn’t the job for her, fair enough, but I think the comments are incredibly cruel and they should’ve given her more notice to sort out alternative accommodation. She spent so much money on this visa, and was so excited to go, and she is heartbroken. They don’t owe her a job and home, of course they don’t, but had they handled it differently she probably could have sorted out a new job with staff housing, as there is plenty of it in the town. I don’t know why I’m posting on AIBU as I expect to be told she’s an adult, isn’t owed anything etc etc but I am heartbroken. She has had mental health issues before and this was supposed to be the making of her, and her confidence has been destroyed.