Told I was 'phobic' for not using pronouns!

[NewStartIn50s]

Asked for my preferred pronouns and I said ' I don't use them', pushed on what I use to refer to myself and I said I don't use on emails or when I introduce myself or at all. Apparently, if I use them I am showing inclusivity to others and being accepting. I'm not quite a dinosaur yet but why are these things forced on us. I don't have a beard (yet) and I think you can tell what I am/but does it really matter if you can't.

So AIBU

YANBU - don't have to use pronouns if you don't want to

YABU - you should state what your preferred pronouns are

This!

YANBU. Using pronouns because you’ve been told to is lending support to either intended or unintended bullying tactics to create a world where the next generations don’t know who they are, what they are, or what they’re options are. Ffs

Chinny reckon this happened.

We all have pronouns and you all obviously know that. Talking about an 'agenda' is so embarrassing

We don't all have preferred pronouns though. And therein lies a world of difference.

Yes

Wakey wakey - look around you, read newspapers, speak to people who work in different companies / organisations and you'll discover a whole new world out there where this is happening frequently. I was first asked to add pronouns to emails approx 2yrs ago. I've always refused.

Surely the only possible response to the question of “what are your pronouns” where no “prefer not to say” option is offered is:

I’m x, I don’t have preferred pronouns, i have/not not undergone/ am not undergoing the process of gender reassignment. I am/ am not a vegan, i have a religion/I don’t have a religion / am a conscientious agnostic. My political beliefs are ….
I am/not currently pregnant, I have/ do not have a disability which impacts on my daily life which I tell you about when you tell me about your gdpr policies.
I’m of “insert race here” heritage (if you believe in “race”) /describe skin colour/don’t.
For the benefit and inclusion of people who can’t see me I’m a (insert physical characteristics, hair, clothing descriptions here). I am/ not married/cp’d/ divorced. What are you protected characteristics?

Inclusion has to be comprehensive or it’s exclusive.

Far from a dinosaur. A person who’s experienced a lot in a rapidly changing world who could teach the naive young a thing or two about being human

Just look at this thread alone. It happens everywhere and I can only assume you are unemployed and living under a rock to have not noticed it.

I am a cis woman and I don't see why I should have a problem with putting my pronouns on my e-mail signature, as is usual/encouraged where I work. It feels a bit pointless, in that anyone who saw me or heard what name I go by would easily be able to guess that she/her was the best fit for me, but then a lot of the things we do just to be polite are technically pointless.

Just because you identify with your own oppression as 'cis' doesn't mean you get to decide others do.

We received an email a while ago 'inviting' us to add our 'preferred' pronouns to our email signatures. To date I don't know a single colleague who has (other than the person who sent the email!). My boss didn't know what it was all about and when I explained it to him he laughed. A lot 😂
Needless to say I doubt this will be compulsory at work any time soon! (Thank fuck!)

I am a cis woman and I don't see why I should have a problem with putting my pronouns on my e-mail signature

If you happily describe yourself as a cis woman then no, you probably won't have a problem with including pronouns in an email signature.

It's actually quite a common tactic for bigoted views to be sold to the wider public. Find that common ground that people agree to, but then use it to push their own narrative further.

Yes, but let's be clear that strategy is used by the left as well as the right (although left wing bigots are more usually called extremists).

For example, the entirely reasonable view that whether someone fancies their own sex, the opposite sex, or both, has no bearing whatsoever on anything else about them so everyone should be free to work, live and play without anyone caring about who they fancy, and free to love, marry and parent in line with who they fancy - is being used to push the entirely different idea that people should be free to identify into the spaces, rights, protections, language, and even to speak of lived experience on behalf of, the sex to which they do not belong.

Absolutely this.

And look where your socially acceptable for the sex when we choose to see it woman socialization has got you, look where being kind has got you.

You just described yourself as a cis woman. Not a woman. A cis woman. The name for our sex class has been taken over by some transwomen and you have allowed them to bump you into secondary womanhood.

Not the default woman you were, but a subsect of woman. A subsect of women who's opinions and sex based rights have been superseded by the more important trans. But be kind.

Sorry I'm not mad at you, just angry that so many of us have bought into this be kind message when it's actively harming women as a sex class. Where is the Be Kind to women here?

It's just more of women move over, we want what you've got and you have to give it to us because "BE KIND!"

Hat I would not normally describe myself as a cis woman, just a woman, but it is specifically relevant in this instance that I am cis.

Why? Genuinely.

I am afraid I absolutely see assigning yourself the word cis at best seriously lacking in critical thinking skills or the cool girl phrase of the 20s.

I've mentioned this before, but at my work making managers "lead by example" by putting pronouns in their profiles has been a huge own goal because when they turn up on the Zoom it highlights just how many of our senior managers are He/Hims.

'I am a cis woman and I don't see why I should have a problem with putting my pronouns on my e-mail signature.'

This is because you are part of a group that believes in gender.
(You don't have to be trans to be in that group.)

Adding pronouns to your signature is like a Christian adding a bible quotation to theirs.

I'm fine with someone adding a bible quotation to their e-mail but would not wish to put one on my own.

Just make up something extra-wokey.

I chose Shey/Tim at college the other day and got a sage nod off the kid next to me 🙄

I mean it does handily signify sheep who lack thought processes of any depth.

So in a way nice for you to advertise this openly. Probably not in your interest though.

We had this at work and it was very nicely quashed by one of my queer staff who stated that she didn't want to be outed by being forced to disclose her pronoun. Senior management became a bit twitchy and moved it from mandatory to optional. Funnily enough, hardly anyone discloses their pronouns.

I wouldn't call myself cis as my view is that gender is a social construct that oppresses women, not an identity, and I am certainly not going to collude with my own oppression.