We've been invited to brother's step son's wedding on a Friday. Originally we were told it was a Saturday so rsvp'd with a yes. Then later learnt that it's a Friday, upon discovering this via another family member I told my brother that we can't come. I work in healthcare and patients are booked months, and sometimes more than a year in advance! I cannot cancel a day of important procedures to attend this wedding, it is not right or proper, and for someone who we don't really know, are not close to etc. My brother and SIL are now very cross, and saying things like:
I'm putting others before family
that my career is more important to me than family
that they will look bad if I am not there
that it is embarrassing for them to say I didn't come due to work
I am making them look stupid
I am the only sister, I should cancel work and go
they've spent so much money
why am I letting my job come between us and letting my job ruin family relationships, is that what I want, because thats where I'm heading
I'm so uncommitted to family that I will think nothing of missing a siblings funeral if it were to happen etc.
They went on to say my job is not that vital, that they've given months of notice (with the incorrect date), that I have to be there, why do I take my job so seriously, why is my job more important than family, that people with low moral values even take time out for family why don't I...it goes on.
I've tried my best to explain about the patients vulnerability and the importance of not cancelling procedures, but they don't understand it, and keep saying you're choosing them over us. Neither of them work, they are retired.
I don't feel like I am being unreasonable, am I being unreasonable?
What should I say to them? I feel so pressured. They will probably fall out with me for good.