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Original poster

Staff xmas drinks - is this a cf thing to do?

219 replies

Botox30k · 08/12/2022 05:00

Light-hearted but... still irritated

Works Xmas do tonight. I'm the team line manager, but not paid massively more than the rest of them. I think - and they say - I'm a decent boss who protects them from pressure

Have bought thankyou Xmas gifts for all (15) , also thought I should offer to buy the first drink.

Most people standard large glass of wine etc, one cheeky git ( stood at bar and so placed his order direct, I was just stood with card) - a large glass of red with a double brandy chaser. His drink alone was £20

I'd never do that - diet coke thanks and I'd buy my own expensive drink later!!

OP posts:
KimberleyClark · 08/12/2022 10:12

From reading this thread most people don’t have a clue what it’s like working in the public sector!

OhIdoLike2bBesideTheSeaside · 08/12/2022 10:14

Next year put a fiver in their cards and a "have a drink on me" msg

CarrieMoonbeams · 08/12/2022 10:21

What a shame OP, he was a right cheeky git.

I'd be feeling horrible if I was in your situation. Would it help if you re-framed it in your head as 'rather than what it cost you, look at what it's taught you'?

It could be a cheap-ish way of learning that he is someone to be watched in the future. Cheeky wee bastards like that are often sneaky in other ways, so now you know that he's someone you need to keep an eye on.

You sound like a very kind person.

Bleachmycloths · 08/12/2022 10:24

The CF might now see you as a pushover. Keep your eye on him. Watch him for trying it on with time off, being late, not doing his job properly etc. then deal with it swiftly and effectively.

browneyes35 · 08/12/2022 10:24

To all those who saying the OP should have said something at the time, if I've read right, it sounds like CF ordered his drink direct from the bar so it would have been really hard to tell at the time, unless she queried the amount and that would have required a fast reaction.....

browneyes35 · 08/12/2022 10:24

and the damage was done by then...

SpicyFoodRocks · 08/12/2022 10:26

You are a very generous public sector manager. Goodness. And yes he was cheeky.

Thankweyou · 08/12/2022 10:30

I had a situation with a CF who worked in my team - of 12. Xmas team meal in a restaurant and when the bill came we split it equally - it was along the lines of costing £26ish each (back in the day) so most of us put in £30 to include a tip.

CF team member took the cash and went up to pay - I was sober (driving) and watched as he paid with his credit card and put the cash in his pocket.
Basically we paid for his meal with all the tips. Completely changed how I thought about him

OnlyFannys · 08/12/2022 10:36

Very fucking cheeky, I dont know where people get the brass neck to behave like this!

category12 · 08/12/2022 10:36

Thankweyou · 08/12/2022 10:30

I had a situation with a CF who worked in my team - of 12. Xmas team meal in a restaurant and when the bill came we split it equally - it was along the lines of costing £26ish each (back in the day) so most of us put in £30 to include a tip.

CF team member took the cash and went up to pay - I was sober (driving) and watched as he paid with his credit card and put the cash in his pocket.
Basically we paid for his meal with all the tips. Completely changed how I thought about him

Wow 😮

LightDrizzle · 08/12/2022 10:37

More of a cunt than a cf if they are over 25 and know an individual is paying for it.

This type of person could cause a real shrivelling of generosity in the world, it often goes together with that bitter mentality of “Well, they’ll be getting it back somehow” because their tight little brains can’t compute that anyone else really would put their hand in their own pocket or do a nice thing to treat a team or colleague at their own expense. They’d never do it so somethings up isn’t it? Fucking Lady Bountiful, my arse!

In my ancient experience there’s almost always one in any very large team and happily it is noticed and judged by their colleagues so we can all be thankful they remain a minority.

More cheerily, at one Christmas drinks night that was explicitly paid for by the private company, not an individual, one young lad ordered one of those hideous drinks like a pint of Guinness with a cherry brandy and a Jäegermeister in it and when it arrived for him it looked 🤢 something awful had happened with the addition of the Jäegermeister so he tried to hide it under his chair. Well another colleague only about a year older than him spotted it and she gave him such a bollocking about how that’s not what you do when you’re on someone else’s money etc. 😂. The poor lad was crimson. When we all left that bar and to move on to the next one she started off again in the street. It was funny because they were both probably the youngest and most junior people in the company by some margin and she was just so incensed.

I’d give a really young kid the benefit of the doubt but not the scenario you describe.

Southwig22 · 08/12/2022 10:39

Very cheeky.

Presumably when it was his round you suddenly found yourself fancying a glass of premium champagne or spirits?

AThousandStarlings · 08/12/2022 10:43

You are incredibly thoughtful, kind and generous. I wonder if your staff understood that this is a personal gift of thanks from you and that it is not something that you can run through expenses. It was really bad behaviour.

When I worked for a global finance institution - we did lots of Michelin starred dining, private dining and champagne/cocktail events for high value corporate clients and investors - It was London. Eye watering food and drink bills for small groups. The price of a single after dinner bourbon was equivalent to what my parents paid for a weekly family food shop.

However at one of these events one of the people in our team took advantage and had endless VERY expensive brandies. After the event, she was taken aside privately and shown the bill and told it was inappropriate and paid something towards it as it was not in the spirit of the event. This was a corporate setting, ie work marketing event, (not a work social). So I think what your colleague did was far worse - and deliberate. You could call him out - show/mention the bill and tell him its not in the spirit of and goodwill of the gift - and leave it at that. But his actions are quite revealing of personality and behaviour - which is also useful.

I think 'drinks' are often not a good Christmas gift they are expensive and unappreciated. When I've bought drinks e.g. because I had new team member joining or were celebrating or saying farewell etc - I often just get few bottles of wine and lots of glasses - and cap it there.

StickofVeg · 08/12/2022 10:50

I think if you offer that then you have to be prepared for someone to do what he did. I think they think it makes them look big and clever and like they "won". When I've bought team members drinks in similar situations it has also happened a few times. They seem a bit like "Ooh I got one over on your by having this expensive drink". I just reply with good grace "Enjoy! Happy Christmas!". I mean if I offer I can't moan if they take advantage. Just have good grace about it and give the impression you are happy for them. If you say anything it'll blow up - like you didn't want to keep your promise.

AugustSchumann · 08/12/2022 10:52

YANBU - what a CF!!

I guess as you're public sector there was no chance that he thought the company were footing the bill either.

That was very generous of you, especially on top of the 15 gifts. I would take that as lesson learnt and not do that again.

xogossipgirlxo · 08/12/2022 10:53

Very cheeky in public sector

PurpleButterflyWings · 08/12/2022 10:54

A large glass of red with a double brandy chaser...., 20 pounds?! Confused Where the fuck are you having this party? At the Savoy Hotel in London? Or the restaurant on top of the Shard? Or in the Plaza Hotel in New York?! Jeeeeez, I wouldn't be going anywhere that charged £20 for a double Brandy and a large red wine. Go to bloody Wetherspoons or McDonald's or something. Oh yes, he is being unreasonable, obviously.

Pelo2022 · 08/12/2022 10:56

Definitely cheeky. My boss would have said "ha, I'll pay for the wine and you can get the other"

We went for a staff meal and had a budget, my boss was "why are we eating at this weird time, why is it so busy?"
Us "HAPPY HOUR, 241 cocktails" GrinGrin
Made the most of the budget we had

LimeTwists · 08/12/2022 10:56

That’s really cheeky of him. Piss taker. I wouldn’t order a double or a second drink if someone was paying for me. The only exception would be that I’d order a double if I could see the payer was setting a precedent by ordering one themselves or insisting that people had large measures / large wines etc. But that’s because I have good manners. Pretty incredulous anyone on here thinks his behaviour is ok, but they are fellow CFs!

SleeplessInEngland · 08/12/2022 11:00

A round of drinks for 15 people was always going to be painful - having already gotten gifts I wouldn't have bothered.

Angrywife · 08/12/2022 11:28

I'd have told the server I would pay for one of the drinks and left them to ask the CF for the money for the second drink

lieselotte · 08/12/2022 11:52

Thankweyou · 08/12/2022 10:30

I had a situation with a CF who worked in my team - of 12. Xmas team meal in a restaurant and when the bill came we split it equally - it was along the lines of costing £26ish each (back in the day) so most of us put in £30 to include a tip.

CF team member took the cash and went up to pay - I was sober (driving) and watched as he paid with his credit card and put the cash in his pocket.
Basically we paid for his meal with all the tips. Completely changed how I thought about him

But how do you know that they didn't pay a tip on their credit card?

Tillow4ever · 08/12/2022 11:56

girlmom21 · 08/12/2022 09:17

I'll bet you anything your manager has approved expenses you don't know of

Show quote history

Tell me you know absolutely nothing about how accounting and expenses works without telling me…

it doesn’t matter if the CEO of the business themselves has signed it off - it still goes through the expenses team admin. They check it’s inline with company policy AND legal requirements for tax etc.

i used to be the expenses admin in a large global business for the UK team. The individual puts the expenses through, their manager approves and then it came to me for finance approval. There were a LOT of claims I rejected as out of policy. Soon got people actually complying in the future.

Oh and there’s also a rule that the highest ranking associate has to pay and claim back - so your manager can’t get you to pay and send it for them to approve and circumvent the system. That’s an automatic rejection no matter how valid the claim is.

Grrrrdarling · 08/12/2022 12:00

Botox30k · 08/12/2022 05:00

Light-hearted but... still irritated

Works Xmas do tonight. I'm the team line manager, but not paid massively more than the rest of them. I think - and they say - I'm a decent boss who protects them from pressure

Have bought thankyou Xmas gifts for all (15) , also thought I should offer to buy the first drink.

Most people standard large glass of wine etc, one cheeky git ( stood at bar and so placed his order direct, I was just stood with card) - a large glass of red with a double brandy chaser. His drink alone was £20

I'd never do that - diet coke thanks and I'd buy my own expensive drink later!!

2 drinks is not 1 drink so I’d have grabbed the CF & told him to pay for his 2nd drink himself!
In future make it clear the offer is for 1drink because he clearly either didn’t get the memo or he is a CF.

Tillow4ever · 08/12/2022 12:00

Thankweyou · 08/12/2022 10:30

I had a situation with a CF who worked in my team - of 12. Xmas team meal in a restaurant and when the bill came we split it equally - it was along the lines of costing £26ish each (back in the day) so most of us put in £30 to include a tip.

CF team member took the cash and went up to pay - I was sober (driving) and watched as he paid with his credit card and put the cash in his pocket.
Basically we paid for his meal with all the tips. Completely changed how I thought about him

We had friends like this years ago. We’d go for a meal, at the end split the bill and add a bit for the tip each. They’d make sure they were last couple to pay (having also made sure they drank the most, and had the most expensive options, plus all 3 courses - used to piss me off as I didn’t drink alcohol (was usually driving half the group) and I often only had a main course). They’d add up the cash that was collected, then just add in whatever they needed to make it up to the bill amount. Never left any tip. Drove me mad, but I couldn’t prove it and I was 8-12 years younger than the rest of the group and never felt I could call them out on it.