Staff xmas drinks - is this a cf thing to do?

[Botox30k]

Light-hearted but... still irritated

Works Xmas do tonight. I'm the team line manager, but not paid massively more than the rest of them. I think - and they say - I'm a decent boss who protects them from pressure

Have bought thankyou Xmas gifts for all (15) , also thought I should offer to buy the first drink.

Most people standard large glass of wine etc, one cheeky git ( stood at bar and so placed his order direct, I was just stood with card) - a large glass of red with a double brandy chaser. His drink alone was £20

I'd never do that - diet coke thanks and I'd buy my own expensive drink later!!

Calling it a chaser doesn’t make it part of the wine. It’s not like it’s a mixer.
He’s ordered 2 drinks when you said 1. So yes he’s a CF! I’d have said something.

Are you new to management? Does your workplace have a culture of doing this or is it something you started?
I'd guess he thought it was on expenses but public sector surely know nothing is free any more.
Be more assertive/ clear next time. There was no need for you to add his order to your bill.

It's public sector though. They'll all have been well aware that it was out of the manager's own pocket.

Also that the manager was only one pay grade above, so that can be just a few hundred a year extra.

You sound like a nice manager and that was a totally CF thing to do but you always get one!

I would have said, "it's just the one drink I'm paying for which one do you want?"

Bought them all a present and a drink, how is that tight ?

Ordering 2 drinks is not on, just because someone else is paying. I’m the most senior in my team, we aren’t doing a Christmas night out this year but I’d probably do the same and buy the first round. But that said yes I earn more than them, but pretty sure most have more disposable income than me, as I’m a single parent, don’t own my own home as I live in the South East, most of them are a fair bit older than me and have benefited from cheaper housing etc. They don’t know that though, and just assume I’m loaded, when I’m definitely not

Total CF - why didn’t you say no , just as bizarre.

Op said they work in public sector. I can't believe anyone who works in the public sector would think staff drinks could be put on expenses. The colleague was a total CF.

You offered one drink but that was two? Why didn't you just say it is only one drink? This one is on you unfortunately.

I'd have told him he was having a laugh and then took the piss out of him after.

What an arsehole comment, the OP has been very generous.

Yes he was a massive CF!

I don't know any boss who buys presents and drinks from their own money

I also don't know any boss/manager who only earns 50 per month more despite having more hours and more responsibilities

Sounds like a bad deal all round for you

Yet you feel guilty? Why? About what?

OP I get that the diet coke comment was light hearted, you were clearly using it to illustrate that you would be grateful if offered a drink and wouldn't take the piss with what you ordered. I always cringe at works events when people make off with the free wine bottles etc. OK they're not being paid for personally by someone but it's such a greedy attitude, and at the end of the day those expenses do all come out of profit which ultimately impacts bonuses and pay rises

I used to work in the public sector. Every night out we’d have a kitty, a fiver (jeez, cheap nights out back then). The director who got paid loads more than we did used to try to wangle buying two bottles of Budweiser because he said it wasn’t fair that one bottle was only a half pint and everyone else was drinking pints. Erm and that meant his cost twice as much. But we took no prisoners, he was called out big time, every time he tried it. Gawd I miss that sense of fair play

Either they figured you were expensing somehow, or just wanted to say, F-you. He doesn't respect you.

Did you see what drinks he got when he was paying? Is he an unruly member of the team or is he oblivious? It's probably not malicious but it's 100% CFery.

a glass of wine a double brandy is 3 drinks ! Definitely a CF

Public sector manager here! You were so generous. I would never do a gift and drink. I just couldn’t afford it. A little bit of one of the other but not both!

You had already bought them presents, no need to be offering them drinks as well. They are the ones who should offer you a drink since you gave them presents. Do you feel insecure as their manager? It just seems you're trying too hard to be liked.

Anybody who works in public sector knows the wages are not great and there are no expense accounts. Entirely feasible that OP could only be taking home £50 a month more than her staff due to the way the payscales work . You sound very generous OP . I would have had to say something.

This.

You must have spent your difference in annual salary on presents and the xmas do.!😢

You sound like a great boss x

You sound like a lovely manager and clearly not tight. People suggesting otherwise are probably the ones ordering extra drinks or fiddling expenses. £50 extra for your responsibilities sounds a rubbish deal though.

I wouldn’t have expected you to buy me a drink at all - but if you’d offered, I’d have had what I wanted.

There’s always one, like you I would’ve been gobsmacked at the cheek of someone asking for 2 expensive drinks. I bet when it was his turn to buy drinks that he didn’t have one himself.