Aibu to send my nearly 10 yo to a foreign speaking school if I move to a different country

[pingpongpo]

They will be 10 in may 23 and I would prefer they went to a state school to immerse in the language and culture but feel bad and am now wondering if a private English speaking school would be better.

Some people I know are saying iabu to even think about doing this and others have been through it and are bilingual. Can't decide at all. I can get by in the language but I'm not fluent. Will probably become fluent and plan to.

My cousin and her DH took their 10 and 8 yo DC to northwest China and they went to a majority Chinese private school which had a lot of Korean students. Within a year, they could both speak Korean and Mandarin with no problems. Meanwhile, their parents still struggle with Mandarin a decade later! Have a look at international schools as they can be a good middle ground and they will have children who also have moved so will have the same struggles as your child.

Also do a lot of research on the local French schools and try to see how they are with foreign students

We lived in a regional capital type of French city and the schools there offered literally zero support for non-French speakers, it was very much they just need to work it out themselves

My children spent most of last summer with their foreign grandmother in her country. They barely spoke (though understood) the non European language beforehand. By the end of 5 weeks all of them were trying to communicate with their cousins in the native language.

It was amazing. 20 years I've been visiting that country and after 2 weeks you get your ear in and then it's lost for another year coming home. It can be really quick.

Do it; the advantages of bilingualism last a lifetime. Children that age pick up a new language incredibly fast. I've had immigrant children enter my class without a word of English and nobody who spoke their language (which would be pretty rare in France) From the very first playtime they'd be outside happily playing with the other kids. By the end of first term they'd be confidently speaking English in class.
School activities like drawing, painting, crafts, sport, music, gym, require no knowledge of language at all, so there's lots your child can join in with right away. Your children can already read and write the same alphabet . You have plenty of time to teach your DC some very basic starter vocabulary ; toilet, greetings, colours, numbers, words for the family, home , foods etc.

Definitely the French school. It's not just about language, it's about being able to share a culture and social life with their peers as they grow up, having access to local culture, libraries, activities and so on, and generally participating in the culture in which they grow up. International schools are generally filled with kids who come and go, and are not an ideal place to build a lasting social life.

In addition, it's always possible to move back into an English speaking stream, but the older they get, the harder it would be to move into a French school.

To make things easier, invest some of what you would have spent on the international school on support for the first year, for example doing some intensive (but fun!) immersion in the language with a private teacher before they start school.

I teach EAL (English as Additional Language) children in schools here. Because of resources the children I work with are those most in need - new to English or speaking very broken English.

I think it is wonderful to be able to speak more than 1 language.

What I would suggest is that between now and your move you try and help them learn as much social language / classroom instructions as you can so that when they go they are not totally floundering (I am sure you would do this anyway). languagesconnect.ie/language-mats/ is a good place to start.
Food, stationery and how to say they are ill / unhappy are also useful initially.

When they are there, please keep up the English. They might want to return as adults - in which case they will want English literacy matching their age and ability, not stuck at 10 year old level.

Another tip to help them access the curriculum is that 'translanguaging' learning in both languages is good for reinforcement. There is no harm reading up on their school topic in English (or using Google Lens) so they understand fully and then can work on the French vocab to go with it - rather than only having a vague understanding because they couldn't understand everything.

I'd use state, or the private "sous-contrat" catholic schools.

If they are 10 in spring then they would be in CM1 this year so CM2 next year. That should give them time to get up to scratch before college.

If you plan to stay in France then it really is the best option. In my experience children educated in the International school tend to not see France as "home" and are more likely to end up back in the UK at 18.

I say this as someone who at a similar age was made to go overseas and go to the local school, please don't do it, it had a massive effect on my mental health to this day. It's the worst age to do this, when they are younger fine but it's too late now. If there's an option to go to am English speaking school in my opinion it would be better

Definitely a French school, state or 'private' Catholic (which are not like UK independent schools). I've lived in France and worked in French schools (not when I had school age dc, so no experience as a parent). The system is different from the UK, less flexibility and more traditional, but still a good system. If you're moving to a big city, there will be schools who are used to taking non-French speaking pupils.

I would still hire a tutor to help get their French up to scratch as quickly as possible. Some of the children I know who moved around that age were fluent with speaking pretty quickly (well within a year), but struggled with grammar for a lot longer. The vocab will come pretty quickly, but the French school system is not forgiving of poor grammar and syntax.

It's less common nowadays, because of the financial implications, but it's possible for children to repeat a school year in France, they don't automatically move up with their age group, it depends on their results. They have to 'pass' the year to move up. When I taught in a lycée, some of the final year pupils were in their early 20s, having re-taken a few years along the way.

I would keep the option of transfering to an international school to yourself. Don't let dc know that it's on the table, but have it in the back of your mind if things really don't work out. However, I would only transfer as a last resort. The beneifts of being bilingual and really integrating into the French community and culture can't be overestimated, you'd be setting dc up for life. Ok, it's not as ideal as moving younger, but it's still a great opportunity.

If you do send them to the local school (which I see as infinitely preferable if it is a permanent move), I would say you also need to support them and valorize the French system and not spend the whole time comparing it unfavourably with how it works in England.

My kids are in French schools and we have come across quite a few English families at this stage that don't socialize in with French, are constantly putting down French culture and comparing everything with how wonderful English schools are. And I'm afraid it is English famililes rather than anglophones generally. And the kids are miserable and they end up getting pulled out and sent "home".

Yes, it is a lot less cuddly and more focused on the collective than the individual but they do get a good education. Every educational system has its pros and cons and we are all naturally prejudiced to our own (I'm Irish and don't rate the English secondary system at all 😛). My kids have had lots of sporting opportunities, creative projects, musical experiences though village primary and catholic collège. A lot does depend on the team in the school so try to get feedback from locals or if you are in Paris, I think there are loads of FB groups for anglophones.

Unless your stay is going to be a short one, say one year, I think the local school. Please be the family that speaks the local language where you are.

I would do this to a very young child who didn't know any different, but at 10 I think it would be a real struggle for them, so no I wouldn't do it.

I think it depends on the child. If they're fairly resilient and good with change, then yes definitely. If the move in itself is likely to cause a lot of issues I'd let it come naturally later on

Have you looked for transition schools?

i don’t know if that’s what they’re called but when my friend moved to Spain they did 3 months in an intensive language school with the sole aim of helping them transition from an English speaking school to a Spanish one.

worked for them, at the end of the 3 months they were fluent enough to socially and academically fit in to the local school.

Also it depends on the school system. I wouldn't put a ten year old into the German system straight away as they would be at the point of being separated into their upper schools based on their academic ability. A child just learning the language would suffer.

As it is a long term move I would say local school. You can use the money you save on the private school to pay for some initial extra language tuition to help the transition.

Does your DC have any knowledge of French? Are they confident and outgoing? Could you have a word with the teachers of the state school first to ask if they could facilitate DC settling into the class?

I can imagine that at that age moving is quite stressful. New place, new people, new culture, etc. France is very different to the UK. I think a lot depends on your child's personality and how resilient they are.

Would it be possible to put them first in an English speaking school and then change to the local school once they are reasonably fluent?

(Also, if you aren't white don't even consider putting them in a school where they don't speak the language).

Sorry bit of an essay but I saw your post last night and lots of replies from people who moved to the UK as children and say it was fine but French schools are not like British ones and it has been playing on my mind since.

If you are staying in France definitely put them into the state school. We are in France and one of my favourite things about life here is the freedom the children have. All kids go to their local school so they have a ready made group of friends for weekends and holidays; the summer between primary and secondary I didn't see my son as he went out on his bike at 10 every morning and came back around 6. Sometimes I would get a text from one of the other mums to say they were eating there, sometimes a herd would show up at mine to eat. It was lovely 😍

I am going to be a bit negative now, not to put you off but to prepare you. French schools are not like English ones. They are very rigid and there is no room for failure, effort is not rewarded if it isn't producing results. There is a culture of bullying and this includes some teachers too. Regular tests and the amount of homework expected is brutal (even in primary) and it can be a shock for kids new to the system. As a pp has said, it is not unusual for kids to be made to repeat a year if the teacher doesn't think they have acquired what they need for the next step. Often these are non native kids as French grammar is really hard.

That said, the positives far outweigh the negatives, there are also some lovely teachers and my children are very happy in the state system (although they have never been to school in the UK so know no different). Best advice I can give is to try and register your child for the local périscolaire, generally they are the opposite of school and its where all the fun and creative stuff happens. The staff are often quite young and as a result, at least one will probably speak some English.

I am happy to answer any specific questions if you want to DM me.

Good luck with your move, we love life here and have never regretted the move

Sorry about all the spacing my phone is doing its own thing today 😅

for someone that’s been through this, how does it actually work day to day? For example, you go to class and the teacher says to everyone ‘take out your books and turn to page 33 and start working through the questions’. What the fuck do you do?! You don’t understand what she’s saying, you don’t know what page and you can’t read the questions or write any answers even if you could read them. You also can’t ask her what she means because you don’t speak the language! How does it work day to day (until you’ve managed to learn enough to get by)?

Exactly! Very risky, at 10 years old.

He’ll be fluent anyway, by the time he finishes secondary, what with living in the country and all.

Wow. Sounds absolutely hideous to me and likely to make her hate the move, so not a choice I would make, but I have no experience of it. (Other than the Ukranian in DD’s class who’s been there for 6 months doing ‘full immersion’ but still speaks sod all English as far as I can see.)

I’d make sure she’s learned as much French as possible before she starts, if you really do this.

I don’t see what’s so bad about going to an English-speaking international school and doing an intensive study of French at weekends / in holidays. She’ll still make French friends. If people at English-speaking schools in London can learn fluent French from school lessons why can’t your DD do the same in France?

🤷‍♀️😬 good luck!

They won't be speaking a foreign language in the overseas school - they will be speaking their native language

Depends onntue child. There are 2 Ukranian year 6 children at dd's school - one of them is fluent and fits in amazingly. The other one just hasn't settled at all