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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel hurt? Last day of my job

136 replies

jaydeymoo22 · 07/12/2022 19:50

...before moving onto a new job, and I didn't even get a card from my work/team. Nothing. I'm not expecting a gift (I never would, especially in the current climate), but there was literally no acknowledgement that it was my last day. It was so weird. It just got to to the end of the working day and that was it. I'd worked there for 5 years.
AIBU to feel a bit upset?
Would you expect a card or something, or at least your manager to have some nice things to say/well wishes?
I feel hurt and like I've left with a sour taste in my mouth to be honest

OP posts:
ImNotBella · 08/12/2022 06:32

Same happened to me. I'd been at this company 8 years and not even a goodbye from the manager.

I should have know really. When I had my baby I didn't receive a single message of congratulations from anyone at my work. My colleague however, received a hamper filled with baby essentials, a spa treat and a 'whip round' was organized raising £150. All posted on Facebook which generated more well wishes from our colleagues.

If it makes any difference our babies are aged 3 months apart and all the same people worked there at the time.

It was clear to see who the favorite was!

Willmafrockfit · 08/12/2022 06:48

were you close with any of your colleagues op?

Goodgrief82 · 08/12/2022 06:52

The only other person I am aware of this happening to was an ex colleague.

She had been with the company 3 . 3 years of her nastiness, bitchiness, moodiness and moaning. No one liked her. Everyone avoided her. She just about kept her job by avoiding any major fuck ups. Finally…. She took early retirement.

we all breathed a collective sigh of relief and no one even considered for a moment buying her a goodbye card

Goodgrief82 · 08/12/2022 06:56

When I went on maternity leave, my boss read out a really sweet poem and I revived £150 John Lewis Vouchers and a voucher for a pregnancy massage! I felt utterly spoilt.

three weeks later a colleague had gone on maternity leave and we had done a quick whip around and she got a generic card and a bunch of flowers.

why? Because quite honestly - no one was close to her, enjoyed her company or thought she was particularly pleasant.

Goodgrief82 · 08/12/2022 06:56

3 weeks earlier

DNBU · 08/12/2022 07:11

This is bizarre. Was there any drama about leaving? Did people definitely know you were leaving?

Goodgrief82 · 08/12/2022 07:16

DNBU · 08/12/2022 07:11

This is bizarre. Was there any drama about leaving? Did people definitely know you were leaving?

There will unquestionably be a backstory

Goodgrief82 · 08/12/2022 07:16

One that we will never know!

keeprunning55 · 08/12/2022 07:23

I sadly think that most work colleagues just don’t care about anyone. Obviously not all, but most. I was on life support in hospital & didn’t get a get well soon card. It made me realise that nobody really cares. I just think of it as purely a job although I would never treat anyone like that. I’m sorry you’ve been met down. I hope you know your worth and move on to a kinder place.

SoggyBananaLoaf · 08/12/2022 07:26

It's awful! Good luck in your new job, and sod the others!

Original poster
jaydeymoo22 · 08/12/2022 07:32

Thank you all for your comments, it's reassuring to hear that this isn't a reflection of me. I am perplexed because there is no back-story, no obvious reason for the lack of acknowledgement. It was just so weird.
Oh well - onwards and upwards 💐

OP posts:
paintthetownred · 08/12/2022 07:44

Sorry to hear that OP. I find that really odd! Did you get on with the person who usually organises collections for people?

I've always had leaving gifts even when I've said there's no need for a collection. I once got a bunch of flowers and a card just for a 3 month temp job.

Fancylike · 08/12/2022 07:47

Really feel for you OP, it’s crap but not a reflection on you at all, some workplaces have no camaraderie.

I left a job after 5 years in the same company, my role was made redundant from a small team of 6. Invited the team for a drink and nibbles (for free, the cafe next door was treating me), and all flaked last minute. Like they each left the office and went home without a word. 3 of them went to another bar nearby!

I ended up calling a friend from a nearby office and we had our own drinks. No card or anything. I was the one who organized people’s birthday cakes and cards and was sad when no one bothered to acknowledge mine (birthdays were on the shared calendar), but that should have prepared me for this.

I now ignore that team’s requests for help with my area of expertise/contacting them to industry leaders etc.

paintthetownred · 08/12/2022 07:49

OP - not trying to make you feel bad by the way.

I think I've worked in places where colleagues would look bad if they didn't organise a collection for me. This was the case with a job I hated and I was bullied by someone. Couldn't wait to leave and didn't want a collection. I got a card and presents anyway which was nice of most of the colleagues.

Doingmybest12 · 08/12/2022 08:00

Did you chat to your colleagues about leaving , your plans etc. Did you suggest you take chocolates in / shared lunch etc for your last day. I thought these things are a bit of a two way street to mark the occasion. It all sounds sad and hurtful but it probably reflects there is more to this .Hopefully you are moving on somewhere that is a happier environment.

Iamthewombat · 08/12/2022 08:19

Doingmybest12 · 08/12/2022 08:00

Did you chat to your colleagues about leaving , your plans etc. Did you suggest you take chocolates in / shared lunch etc for your last day. I thought these things are a bit of a two way street to mark the occasion. It all sounds sad and hurtful but it probably reflects there is more to this .Hopefully you are moving on somewhere that is a happier environment.

The OP already told us that yes, her colleagues knew that she was leaving.

She shouldn’t need to ‘take in chocolates’ or do anything else: her colleagues could at least have managed to convey their good wishes to her in a card, but didn’t. That’s on them, not her.

Iamthewombat · 08/12/2022 08:22

Goodgrief82 · 08/12/2022 06:52

The only other person I am aware of this happening to was an ex colleague.

She had been with the company 3 . 3 years of her nastiness, bitchiness, moodiness and moaning. No one liked her. Everyone avoided her. She just about kept her job by avoiding any major fuck ups. Finally…. She took early retirement.

we all breathed a collective sigh of relief and no one even considered for a moment buying her a goodbye card

Ther you go, OP. That will make you feel better.

Rudolphscarrot · 08/12/2022 08:23

YANBU. It's shitty and I hope your new colleagues value you more.

I'm on maternity leave and have told my work that I won't be returning. My friend at work has told me that management haven't even told anyone that I've left. I've been there 6 years.

Penguinsaregreat · 08/12/2022 08:40

It is bizarre the different way people are treated.
When I was young and incredibly skint, I was expected to contribute to all sorts of collections. In the end I didn’t put into the senior manager’s wife’s collection, after she had had minor surgery. I had. Ever even met the woman! I could barely afford my rent and bills. Did work organise a collection when a very close relative of mine died, or even say have a day off work? No.
Same when a colleague attended a funeral, they were on her back saying she was wrong to take the full day off and should have come straight back into work and not give to the wake.
Absolute madness.

Christinestrawberrygirl · 08/12/2022 08:45

@Goodgrief82 you mean you were the bigger brown noser hth

stillvicarinatutu · 08/12/2022 08:48

There is nowt so queer as folk as they say .

I worked in a dept where there was a collection every bloody week for something or other - even someone's hernia operation!

In that dept there were only 2 of us doing one particular job so I kept getting leave knocked back - then I got word my (estranged) mother was gravely ill and if I wanted to say my goodbye I should go

I rang at 6.30am to ask for a days annual leave (not even compassionate leave!) and they said no !

I said tough and went anyway. I also didn't go back to that dept- didn't get a card , a sympathy card, an apology, flowers, - nothing .

I'd worked with those people 10 years.
I'd given to every collection, signed every fucking card , took cakes and food in , worked overtime for nothing when people were stuck .

Never again!

stayathomer · 08/12/2022 08:52

Someone upthread mentioned about it being a Wednesday, Id assume they thought you were leaving Friday. We once found out about someone leaving literally as she walked out the door, was terrible. Someone dropped something into her the following day but I’d say it meant nothing because it must have felt like we felt obligated

Goodgrief82 · 08/12/2022 08:58

Christinestrawberrygirl · 08/12/2022 08:45

@Goodgrief82 you mean you were the bigger brown noser hth

😂
if that’s what you call not endlessly bitching, gossiping and moaning… then yep, hands up, I admit - that’s my approach to work!

Christinestrawberrygirl · 08/12/2022 09:12

@Goodgrief82 you sound the complete opposite btw, considering what you said about the other lass leaving for maternity and you should look up what a brown noser is. Every workplace has a wee gang of them. Might get you poems but no one likes them really or trusts them. You come across as really smug considering the OP is probably feeling rubbish - shows what you are really like.

Smartiepants79 · 08/12/2022 09:18

Where I work I’d expect cards, gifts and a farewell tea party. But that’s just how we do things.
It is very shit that they didn’t acknowledge you after 5 years!

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