To think my racist SIL should consider another profession?

[Adventcalendargobbler]

I’ve known my SIL (35) for just over 10 years. She’s currently at the tail end of her psychology degree, and is aiming for a career as a psychologist.

She’s a very self absorbed, braggy person anyway, and constantly use unnecessary vocabulary when talking - e.g. using really obscure scientific/medical names for things in a casual conversation.

She’s adamant that she’s going to go on to earn 80k+ as a psychologist, however she is extremely racist, homophobic, and slut shames other women.

I don’t understand how it’s possible or ethical for someone to work in that field while having such awful views of people? It’s a common occurrence for her to make awful racist slurs about people!

Do people in this field have to be assessed before being let out into the wild to do their job? I’d be devastated if I knew my therapist (or whatever it is that she’ll end up doing) was not only judging me for my race/sexual orientation, but didn’t like me because of it.

I’ve told her before that her views and comments are bang out of line, but she just calls me a bore who can’t take a joke, and “obviously” she wouldn’t say this in front of people.

AIBU to think this, or am I being a bore who should keep her nose out?

I've known 5 or 6 people who have trained to be psychotherapists and each and every one of them is a complete fuckwit/abusive/hapless and shouldn't be doling out advice to anyone. One was an abusive alcoholic with a personality disorder. I don't think there's really anything you can do about it, however, as infuriating as it is. I just wish more vulnerable people entrusting themselves to psychotherapists would realise this. If you a adopt a child, past partners are asked about your conduct in a relationship, so why not people training to be psychotherapists?

What are her racist and homophobic views op? If she’s actually racist and homophobic then I think that will be a barrier and will probably come up in her training while working with people. You have to do so much work around E&D when training to do frontline work.

It would be good to have examples of her racism/homophobia/slut shaming. These days it can be subjective. I don’t think the culture of casual sex is a good idea for women. Too many women get treated badly and live with the consequences while men walk away. Am I slut shaming or just having an opinion based on what I see around me?

It actually sounds like you’re a bit put out that she’s educated to a level above you with the example you gave about frontal lobes.

And this must be why the majority of therapists etc are shit.

I would be interested to know OP, what you define as 'racist', 'homophobic' and everything else you accuse her of

Maybe she can help those who are struggling for being wrongly accused of these things? Have lost their jobs for it, feel disenfranchised by the current rhetoric in some MSM, etc?

She should become asocial worker. Shed fit right in.

Wow there are some surprising views on this thread.

If people don't judge sexism racism and homophobia then they are effectively condoning it. I literally can't imagine listening to a racist 'joke', and not being disgusted, and thinking 'ah well, each to their own'. Some views and opinions are factually and morally just wrong.

Secondly of course she can't just 'turn it off' and 'not air her views'. She is providing a mental service not a physical one where your views are irrelevant. It's a position of trust. Most people (as confirmed by numerous studies) have racial/ sexual bias and that's why in companies, there are policies and procedures in place to check for unconscious bias in how employees or service users are treated. Because it's so common, even in people who are not overtly racist or sexist, even in women and minority groups etc. So to think that someone who is overtly racist etc can and will just 'turn it off' when they are in a situation where there are no witnesses and they hold all the power in a really intimate setting...is completely naive

What a lot of racists and homophobics mumsnet has. Sadly you will find all professions full of fake people who all hold these views and worse but would not express them in the workplace. As they are clever enough to do a degree they are clever enough to hide it and there is really not much you can do EXCEPT expose them but how do you manage that without looking like a shit stirring lying bitch with a vendetta. Keep her at a distance and if she winds you up ask her about hypothetical race and sexual orientation questions like what do you do if. She will prob end up in hr anyway not everyone who completes this becomes a top psychologist.

Funny if you said he was downright and sexist planning to go into the police force or fire brigade etc etc

I agree
Even if she’s able to not express her disgusting opinions at work she still holds them and that will affect how she interacts with any unfortunate clients she has.

As for some of the people on this thread who use words and phrases like “woke” and “thought police” that fine, makes it easier to spot the arseholes

If people don't judge sexism racism and homophobia then they are effectively condoning it. I literally can't imagine listening to a racist 'joke', and not being disgusted, and thinking 'ah well, each to their own'. Some views and opinions are factually and morally just wrong.

Yet OP apparently still willingly associates with her, despite the fact that her views are repulsive.

I wouldn't.

I think we all know what racism and homophobia looks like

He'd be in very good company there.

It's positively systemic.

Id keep my beak out if I were you. She will either get a job or she wont. If she behaves in an unprofessional manner she will at some point be told off about that.

Really not your circus or monkeys.

I’ve worked with many psychologists over the years, and these would be my observations.

• a psychology degree is so far down the road from becoming a clinical psychologist that you really don’t need to worry yet
• the psychologists I know are very much cut from the same cloth, so there must be some sort of selection process which weeds out undesirables
• they do seem to be very good at talking up their work (goes along with using long words) so she may well end up earning not far off that eventually.

Psychologists do not just do 3 years degree, they have to do a PhD to become a fully fledged psych.

I didn’t include examples in the OP as I thought it may be potentially triggering to some, and an over explanation. I’ll add some examples below if that’s helpful for context. TW!!!

• When discussing the murder of a black man, SIL said “good, one less to worry about”
• regular use of racial slurs, N word (and P word for Asian people)
• stereotyping, one of her friends didn’t want to pay for something so SIL called her jewish
• holocaust jokes, slavery jokes, reference to “cotton picking”
• Thinks that LGBTQ+ relationships are immoral, unnatural and disgusting
• stereotyping again based off looks, if a woman is masc then SIL says she’s a D*e, or if a man is feminine he is a F*t
• any woman that uploads promiscuous pictures to social media is a “whore”, and those on onlyfans “are asking for it”

These comments are all said while laughing, it’s as though she genuinely doesn’t see that the things coming out of her mouth are disgusting.

Hope she has an accident. One less racist in the world.

Christ

I'm sick to fucking death of racists and homophobes who think it's okay to hold 19th century views and still want to be part of today's society. Who think if you don't see they are just joking, you are being too woke.

They can fuck right off.

A black child who has been horrificly racially abused who seeks treatment, it's ok to see a racist pyschologist? Or a rape victim seek a pyschologist who thinks women deserve it if they dress 'slutty' ???

OP, just monitor her career, if she does become qualified, report the fucker to The British Psychological Society. People seeking help shouldn't have to face bad apples who will do more harm.

Bloody hell OP, she shouldn't just not be a psychologist, she should be arrested.

Well, that's completely unacceptable, obviously. Way beyond any freedom of thought/speech concerns. What do the rest of the family say when she comes out with this hateful nonsense?

Arrested for thought crime?

Her views are no worse than what I've heard in my field ( investment banking) but thankfully those cunts aren't paid to help people with depression, trauma etc.

@YukioMishimaCore have you read the examples? That's not thought crime; that's hate speech.

I think we all know what racism and homophobia looks like

No, we don't.

Literally every day a thread like this is opened on MN. The OPs are outraged because of some petty comment (some like to call them 'microaggressions', i.e. they are minor). The OPs are encouraged to 'call the offender out'

The 'offender' in question will be left perplexed by this and may feel uneasy. They may look for therapy

The SIL will be able to help a lot of people and will have a successful business

Guess we can’t all be school prefects