To think my racist SIL should consider another profession?

[Adventcalendargobbler]

I’ve known my SIL (35) for just over 10 years. She’s currently at the tail end of her psychology degree, and is aiming for a career as a psychologist.

She’s a very self absorbed, braggy person anyway, and constantly use unnecessary vocabulary when talking - e.g. using really obscure scientific/medical names for things in a casual conversation.

She’s adamant that she’s going to go on to earn 80k+ as a psychologist, however she is extremely racist, homophobic, and slut shames other women.

I don’t understand how it’s possible or ethical for someone to work in that field while having such awful views of people? It’s a common occurrence for her to make awful racist slurs about people!

Do people in this field have to be assessed before being let out into the wild to do their job? I’d be devastated if I knew my therapist (or whatever it is that she’ll end up doing) was not only judging me for my race/sexual orientation, but didn’t like me because of it.

I’ve told her before that her views and comments are bang out of line, but she just calls me a bore who can’t take a joke, and “obviously” she wouldn’t say this in front of people.

AIBU to think this, or am I being a bore who should keep her nose out?

You don’t need any/barely any qualifications at all to be a psychologist or psychotherapist, it seems. It’s not a regulated or licensed field. The people I know who are in this line of work are either clinical psychologists (definitely need qualifications, and it is very tough to even get accepted on the course; a degree in psychology itself is effectively worthless). Another is a psychiatrist (definitely need qualifications; you have to be a qualified medical doctor before you even start).

It's amusing that she seems to think getting a degree means getting a job in that profession 😉 and better yet, being a top earner!

And he’s on every thread.

A friends ex was a family/ marraige counsellor. She cheated on her ex by making out with another guy at his work function infront of everyone. Standards urgh

You sound very judgemental, but she’s unlikely to get on the very competitive doctorate course to qualify as a Clinical or Educational Psychologist, so I shouldn’t worry.

Judging racists is never wrong. They should all die.

Why shouldn’t the OP judge? Imagine not judging people who are racist or homophobic. 🧐

That you think “woke” is an insult reflects more on you…

Yeah, I think it’s ok to judge someone for being racist, homophobic and misogynistic.

Good grief. That's so ignorant I hardly know where to start.

"Judging racists is never wrong. They should all die. "

Okaaay, that's a balanced and reasoned view then ! 🙄

It's not about airing her views. It's about the fact that she could end up being in a job where she's pre judging vulnerable people that she's supposed to be helping!

This bit jumped out of your opening post @Adventcalendargobbler:
"I’ve told her before that her views and comments are bang out of line, but she just calls me a bore who can’t take a joke, and “obviously” she wouldn’t say this in front of people."

I'd retort that with "You've said it to me....am I not 'people'? Let's discuss this in a bit more detail and see why you think it's acceptable to say this to me and you claim to say you wouldn't say it to others. Why am I special to receive such vile words being spoken by you? Would it be because I'm not a paying client? Why does a monetary transaction have to take place before you can keep your tongue and comments to yourself? Are you sure that this field of work is best suited for someone who clearly holds such opinions of others? I think this deserves further discussion, don't you? Have you got your own therapist?"

Reverse psychology if you will. Turn her phrases and beliefs back on her. Show her herself in the mirror.

Someone like that cannot be trusted to give all their service users the quality of care they deserve.

imagine a homophobic person counselling a gay person on a relationship issue. It’s just not going to work.

YANBU OP.

Being a psychologist requires more than a degree in psychology. She will need to do her doctorate and gain experience in working in research or in services before she will get a place on the doctorate. She, may, then earn £80 privately, but not in the NHS for a very very very long time, and she won't be seeing patients really by that point, she will be director / associate director level.

That’s for being a clinical psychologist, which isn’t quite -at all -the same thing. I made the same mistake, because I know only clinical psychologists, so I thought it was universal.

There are some really odd responses, of course homophobic/ racist views etc are ok to judge.

Personally I’ve found that a lot of private psychotherapists I know, not nhs, are not really people I’d talk to out of choice. Either critical viewpoints, power issues etc. I think jobs with power though always attract some concerning people, you find it in the police and teaching too (I am a teacher- most teachers are lovely, but I’ve certainly met a significant number of people with control or power issues that do not communicate in a healthy way).

It makes it sometimes tricky to navigate who you are dealing with. Hopefully she’ll have a decent supervisor who manages it all in some way.

I suspected this post would be a magnet for the 'racism/homophobia is a difference of opinion' brigade with their bingo sheet of Mail Online-isms

I've already ticked off 'woke,' 'thought police' and 'thought crime,' if someone says Orwellian I'm doing a shot 🤣

As everyone has said, I absolutely will judge someone who has such vile views. As mentioned by a PP, my concern is that it seems damaging for someone who thinks in the way she does to potentially have such an intimate and vulnerable relationship with clients.

I would love to be supportive - I think higher education takes such dedication and commitment. But she’s a massive wanker, and I can’t be objective when I know how she speaks about people.

Using big words for absolutely no reason is a huge pain in the arse. I just find it really unnecessary, a lot of the time plain English is best suited. I’ve muted her on social media as I’m sick of seeing posts about my nephews turn into a diagnosis of how well their frontal lobes are developing 🙄 (I have no idea what I’m talking about, but just to give a bit of a visual!).

back to my point, I suppose I’m also really surprised how she can still hold the views she does when she’s clearly been studying some horrific cases - how does she not see the comparison?!

You can be an assistant psychologist, counsellor or therapist without the doctorate. But to be a Psychologist, in the UK, you need to have the Doctorate. (It is different in the US). Of course, anyone can call themselves what ever they like in public!

IMHO those working in psychiatry, psychology etc often have complex mental health issues themselves, often difficult pasts are what lead them to the subject in the first place.
My SIL is a psychologist and a seething bed of resentment about her childhood and one of the most self absorbed and judgmental people you'll ever meet! deeply insecure, and defensive and never more happy then when gossiping about someone's else's drama or problems.
I don't think she's a bad psychologist though, she knows all the theories and loves to give out advice she herself would never follow.

It's not about airing views, it is dangerous to be in this position of power when you have such skewed views on certain demographics. How can she do this job if she is a racist homophobe? Will she only treat white straight people ?

well you sound nice. Fancy hoisting up your judgy pants a bit more?

This is the most Mumsnet comment I've ever seen. Is it satire? The OP is talking about a racist and homophobic person!

Her views will stop her from being a good therapist to most people and she will be unable to develop a genuine therapeutic relationship so she will never be successful.
m nothing you can do about her trying though.

Don’t worry. Many professions now have psycho-metric tests to root out people who have views and thoughts that don’t conform to the acceptable standards required today.

If she’s a problem she won’t pass.

What, like if you vote Tory you don't pass, for instance?