To fake orgasms with DH

[Gingerangel]

Sometimes I’m just not in the right headspace to orgasm and if there’s no clit stimulation it’s not going to happen…

Most of the time I will use a small bullet vibe on myself during sex to provide clit stimulation but I always have to be the one who’s responsible for my own orgasm and sometimes I just can’t be arsed…

DH will ask if I have come and I usually am honest and say no if I haven’t but sometimes I just lie to save the awkwardness of the conversation.

You're picking the wrong men then. I've had several long term relationships and many flings and not one of them has not focused on me first. I would stand for it anyway but I have too much self respect to put up with a selfish lover and I would certainly never lie about having an orgasm. He doesn't care enough about you to think of your needs.

😒🥰🤗

Selfish men would turn me off. Sometimes you don’t finish. But it’s the intimacy I like and it’s still enjoyable. My partner gets frustrated if I can’t finish, but it’s rare and he gives it a good try.

I would tell him so he knows he needs to change tactics…

How do I get him excited about foreplay? Is there any way I can make it fun for him, it would be a huge turn off if he didn’t have any enthusiasm about it.

Surely the opportunity to give pleasure and be intimate with someone you love is what "makes it fun"??? Jesus.

If he is not interested in giving pleasure or has no pride or curiosity in getting to know your body and your preferences, I really don't know why you are even with him.

No one is going to take sexism seriously if you use it in a ridiculously like you did here!

Love and companionship are amazing life source and it’s very difficult to find.
Your all around additude is bizarre ngl.
Sex and orgasms are dime in a dozen.

And those are important to me. We’re all different.

but he’s not interested in any foreplay.

No wonder you're not wet then.

If, like most women,you can't climax without clitoral stimulation .... And a vibrator distracts him 🙄, and he doesn't enjoy performing oral sex, then he needs to learn to use his fingers.

He also needs to learn foreplay.

He's selfish and lazy (and intolerant/unreasonable about the bullet vibrator, given he doesn't do oral or 'manual").

What about a Vick ring vibrator.... Since he's such a lazy, selfish fkr. No doubt he'll have an issue with even that for some reason.

*cock ring vibrator

Sex and orgasms are dime in a dozen.

Sex is.
Orgasms aren't.

And it's a normal thing to want a satisfying sex life.

People have good "general" lives, alongside good sex lives ..... They can have both. If you don't have both, it's perfectly understandable that you're sad/frustrated/not entirely happy.

It's not cold to find sex and intimacy vital in a relationship

I can get love and companionship from friends, siblings, DC. If I'm going to have an intimate partner, they need to offer me love, companionship, and a healthy and pleasurable sex life, or at least a game-day effort in that direction. Besides, this kind of problem is never just about sex. It reflects a selfish person who doesn't listen and doesn't care about their spouse's needs.

It's not either/or is it? You do know that you actually have companionship, love and a good sex life? I find it very odd that you think wanting some passion in a marriage is "cold". Why?

I second this.

Many people don't have regular PIV sex - busy lives, tiredness, medical issues, ED, lack of privacy, whatever. It doesn't mean that they don't try or don't care about sharing intimacy or pleasure.

Sex and intimacy is more than PIV or "they make me come" - but the basis is surely a shared desire to share an intimate touch or a moment between you, to both enjoy the thing that you are doing, whether it is a backrub, a hug, a passing kiss, or full on swinging from the chandeliers.

you canactually

It's really common for women not to orgasm through PIV. if he doesn't want to learn how to bring you to orgasm another way, then stop lying to protect his feelings

If you had read the comment I was replying, they asked ’what you get out of relationship’ like sex was the only worth of being in a relationship.
That approach is indeed ice cold.
There was no mention of ’passion’.

Men are idiots, I’m sure!

Not all men by a long shot. Plenty actually know how to make a woman come and, more importantly, want to.

I've slept with over 25 men in my life and not a single one has been able to make me orgasm. Sometimes that's fine - if you're just having a quickie in bed then there's no way I'm going to finish in that time and I don't really feel hard done by not coming. I've had sex sessions that have lasted through the night for hours and hours before with plenty of oral and hands and toys - still doesn't happen. The only way it happens is if I do it myself with my hands or a vibrator is used.

Anyone suffering from the plight of a selfish lover, look in the mirror and say “why have I settled for a man who doesn’t care about me in every way possible”. Then say “I deserve better”. And keep saying “I deserve better” until you finally start to believe it.

What a retrograde, sexist view on women some people have to think that they should put up with shit sex for "love and companion".

Yup. I feel sorry for straight women who seem to be conditioned into thinking selfish lovers are to be endured for other reasons. Get you someone who does it all.

I haven't RTFT so sorry if this has been asked (I couldn't see an answer from OP if it has) but DH will ask if I have come

Surely he shouldn't need to ask?!

Jesus this is depressing. He has no interest in your pleasure and he is your husband

I do this most of the time because I just can't be bothered. Sex isn't hugely important to me.

So why pretend? Is it some form of misplaced kindness where you have to lie to save his poor little ego? What's the point? If sex isn't important to you, why are you doing it at all? Duty?