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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To fake orgasms with DH

133 replies

Gingerangel · 07/12/2022 03:04

Sometimes I’m just not in the right headspace to orgasm and if there’s no clit stimulation it’s not going to happen…

Most of the time I will use a small bullet vibe on myself during sex to provide clit stimulation but I always have to be the one who’s responsible for my own orgasm and sometimes I just can’t be arsed…

DH will ask if I have come and I usually am honest and say no if I haven’t but sometimes I just lie to save the awkwardness of the conversation.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 07/12/2022 09:28

Most of the time I will use a small bullet vibe on myself during sex to provide clit stimulation but I always have to be the one who’s responsible for my own orgasm and sometimes I just can’t be arsed…

So he does know that you need this - I mean, he can’t have missed it! So it would be a reasonable opener to the tricky conversation you clearly hate, that when you haven’t used a vibe during sex, and he asks if you came, you could say ‘No, I didn’t. And in fact I rarely manage it without the vibe, to be honest.But sometimes I feel a bit sad about always being the one to have to get it out to come. I’d be really happy if you wanted to use it on me and suggested it.’ And go from there?

I’m not sure I could have married him with the no oral thing, though! Is he generally a good kisser, happy with all other erogenous zones?

QueenOf1969 · 07/12/2022 09:30

You need to speak up - I was like you with my ex husband, but my new partner’s view is that ladies come first - he doesn’t let me anywhere near him until he’s given me at least 1 orgasm - and he never needs to ask if I’ve had one!
Im in my 50s and never knew sex could be so good - insist on better!

SirenSays · 07/12/2022 09:56

It's definitely not all men. I haven't faked it since I was in my teens. It's shocking he has to ask if you have. Show and tell him exactly what you need from him.

knittingaddict · 07/12/2022 10:01

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 07/12/2022 07:01

He doesn’t want to do oral, and PIV isn’t enough without a vibe to get me there.

Does he not have any hands?

😂

I was trying to formulate a reply that basically said this. No need because this is perfect.

glasshole · 07/12/2022 10:02

Gingerangel · 07/12/2022 03:56

So how do I get him to change his ways?

He doesn’t want to do oral, and PIV isn’t enough without a vibe to get me there.

Every man I have had sex with has been the same, in all honesty I think most men are like this. Only one guy I have been with was willing to do oral, and he was terrible at it.

I sometimes wonder if it’s me, but then I never have any problems getting myself off with toys or on my own. But I need clit stimulation to come.

Most men are NOT like this. Some, yes. But not all by a country mile.

When I met my husband we were talking about previous partners and what we like in bed etc. I told him I'd never orgasmed through oral and very rarely though just PIV , I'm just not built that way, it needs to be clitoral. He declared it his mission to get me there both ways and I just laughed. But his stubbornness paid off big time for him ( and for me). Twenty years in and he's got my body so well trained he just walks up behind me, puts his hands on my hips and pulls me into him as he kisses my neck..... honestly half of his work is done at that that point as my body just melts and responds automatically. He can finish me any way he wants these days, sometimes in as little as 30 seconds 🙈😳. He calls me his pillow princess and it's his favourite thing to do in the world.

EverythingWobbles · 07/12/2022 10:10

I gave up.
I love my husband but sexually it was bad.
He didn't like giving me foreplay. Got annoyed if I introduced a vibrator for clit stimulation and once told me I took ages to come with foreplay. He basically didn't seem bothered about me having an orgasm. I tried endless times to discuss it but it always ended with him annoyed and an argument
Yes its depressing, yes I feel sad about it and yes I cry occasionally. We don't have sex anymore. We never mention it. Otherwise we are happy. Ive just accepted it is what it is and get myself off when hes out. This will depress a lot of people but it's my truth. No nasty comments please, it hurts enough as it is.

Croftboft · 07/12/2022 10:12

If you want crap sex forever. If not you need to say no because I need x y to do so.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 07/12/2022 11:15

miltonj · 07/12/2022 08:26

Responsible for your own orgasm???! Wtf. Why Even bother having sex, you could make yourself orgasm on your own. The point that makes sex better than masturbation is that someone is pleasuring you!!!

For you maybe!!
for me nothing is better than being penetrated and using my own hands, it's amazing and always hits the spot. Newsflash all women are different!

ChristmasBells123 · 07/12/2022 11:17

Have only skimmed answers, so apologies if I'm repeating what has already been said, but OP, you 'not being in the right head space' is reason enough to not be able to orgasm, and you shouldn't have to pretend.

Men really don't get that women need that to be right too, a lot of the time, rather than it just being a physical response to stimulation (added to which, mother nature rather unhelpfully put our clits on the outside, not on the inside where the penis goes hmm)

But so many other worrying things in your OP too - he won't give you oral (and believe me, most men - the vast, vast majority of them, ❤❤❤giving oral to women, so you've had some shocking luck in that department) and now you are left with lying and faking.

Sometimes I'm not in the right headspace to orgasm through oral too (although I still really, really want to have sex with my DP nonetheless) but he loves going down on me, absolutely can't get enough of it, so he knows he can do as much as he wants of that (even knowing it might not work because of the whole head space things), and I still get to have all the lovely feelings on his mouth doing what it's doing!

But when all the pieces are in play, head space included - oh boy, he's very good at what he does, and yes it's always been 'lady first' in our relationship. We always finish with piv with all the wonderful extras of my scent all over his face, and him turned on from going down on me, and kissing etc. I love it, even without my own orgasm. I certainly couldn't fake it either!

I'd be far too embarrassed to pretend to make the noises I make when my clit does work Xmas BlushGrin (noises that I realise are again, totally different to the ones I make when I use my bullet) so yes, he'd know if I'd really come or not... and I know exactly when he's about to come too... isn't that one of the most erotic parts of having sex with a long-term partner, being that in tune with each other that it's still amazing several times a week, even after so many years?

Oh OP, I've not idea how you're going to 'change him'. I'm not sure you can if it's this ingrained in your relationship. But you've still got a lot of living to do - do you want to do all of it with a selfish partner who's shit in bed?

Or would you rather than a partner who puts you first, cares about your pleasure before his own, and bloody well knows without asking whether you've come or not?

I'd go for the latter if I were you.

StarlightLady · 07/12/2022 11:30

It's not a case of reasonable or not, it's a case of not being fair, that is not being fair to yourself!

I can't imagine having sex without oral being in the equation. Even first time sex with someone. That is part of a little pre-boudoir discussion.

No oral - no entry!

Gingerangel · 07/12/2022 16:29

EverythingWobbles · 07/12/2022 10:10

I gave up.
I love my husband but sexually it was bad.
He didn't like giving me foreplay. Got annoyed if I introduced a vibrator for clit stimulation and once told me I took ages to come with foreplay. He basically didn't seem bothered about me having an orgasm. I tried endless times to discuss it but it always ended with him annoyed and an argument
Yes its depressing, yes I feel sad about it and yes I cry occasionally. We don't have sex anymore. We never mention it. Otherwise we are happy. Ive just accepted it is what it is and get myself off when hes out. This will depress a lot of people but it's my truth. No nasty comments please, it hurts enough as it is.

This is how DH was, he used to get annoyed with the bullet saying it distracted him 🤨 … He’s now accepted that I’m going to use the bullet about 90% of the time, but he’s not interested in any foreplay. The fact he needs to ask if I came blows my mind… Like shouldn’t he be able to feel all the contracting and getting wetter etc if I come … I just don’t even understand how he’s got this far in life without knowing how a woman’s body works, but then like I said other men I have slept with have been the same and always ask that annoying question ‘did you come?’… I blame porn, that’s how men learn about sex and it is all about male pleasure, and viewing women’s bodies as a hole to masterbate into and expecting her to come from that alone 🤦‍♀️

Men are idiots, I’m sure!

Well I’m going to have a talk with him again, any ideas what suggestions I can make to give him ideas with foreplay? Oral is out of the question… How do I get him excited about foreplay? Is there any way I can make it fun for him, it would be a huge turn off if he didn’t have any enthusiasm about it.

OP posts:
astronewt · 07/12/2022 16:44

How do I get him excited about foreplay? Is there any way I can make it fun for him

With respect, and I really want to help you, if giving you pleasure doesn't make foreplay fun and interesting for him, I don't think you have anything to build on. A sex partner who doesn't want to do stuff that makes you feel good is, well, a shit one.

Seriously what would happen if you just said "your P doesn't go in my V until I've already got off, so get busy, Captain"?

PeppermintChoc · 07/12/2022 16:47

I have to be in the right frame of mind to orgasm. Sometimes DH will make an effort to get me there but other times I know it’s not going to happen.

Thesenderofthiscard · 07/12/2022 16:50

I'm gay and these kind of questions amaze me, why on earth put up with bad sex! He needs to learn how to get you off, and if he can't then help and guide him and if he won't then don't have sex. NEVER have sex when you're not up for it, NEVER.

ScornedChicken · 07/12/2022 16:51

Gingerangel · 07/12/2022 03:56

So how do I get him to change his ways?

He doesn’t want to do oral, and PIV isn’t enough without a vibe to get me there.

Every man I have had sex with has been the same, in all honesty I think most men are like this. Only one guy I have been with was willing to do oral, and he was terrible at it.

I sometimes wonder if it’s me, but then I never have any problems getting myself off with toys or on my own. But I need clit stimulation to come.

It's not you. Your needs aren't being met.

Thesenderofthiscard · 07/12/2022 16:51

'Oral is out of the question

Why? Done properly and patiently it's 100% guaranteed to work!

Thesenderofthiscard · 07/12/2022 16:53

Don't fake it! On the rare occasion I haven't I've just said it's not going to work... if you keep faking it he'll think he's bad technique is enough.

arethereanyleftatall · 07/12/2022 17:44

Oh fgs did you read any of the responses op?!?
How do you make it fun for him?!?
Jfc.
Do you think he's thinking 'how do I make it fun for her' when he's having sex.

Jusmakingit · 07/12/2022 17:47

Gingerangel · 07/12/2022 16:29

This is how DH was, he used to get annoyed with the bullet saying it distracted him 🤨 … He’s now accepted that I’m going to use the bullet about 90% of the time, but he’s not interested in any foreplay. The fact he needs to ask if I came blows my mind… Like shouldn’t he be able to feel all the contracting and getting wetter etc if I come … I just don’t even understand how he’s got this far in life without knowing how a woman’s body works, but then like I said other men I have slept with have been the same and always ask that annoying question ‘did you come?’… I blame porn, that’s how men learn about sex and it is all about male pleasure, and viewing women’s bodies as a hole to masterbate into and expecting her to come from that alone 🤦‍♀️

Men are idiots, I’m sure!

Well I’m going to have a talk with him again, any ideas what suggestions I can make to give him ideas with foreplay? Oral is out of the question… How do I get him excited about foreplay? Is there any way I can make it fun for him, it would be a huge turn off if he didn’t have any enthusiasm about it.

For foreplay I would go with the ‘ when I think of you doing X Y Z to me it really starts to turn me on’ and then tell him what would turn you on and just play into it. My DH gets ridiculously turned on at the thought of me being turned on by him. It’s nature and if yours doesn’t get excited about that then be blunt with him.

IF he starts doing those things without sex and working you up to the point you’re begging him to keep going then you will get there. Maybe keep sex off the table for yourself to cum until he has made you cum via foreplay without the toys. Once you have come , then you can do the same back but tell him. You need to get in tune with each other without sex first and then add sex in another time. One small step for mankind ;)

NameChange1718 · 07/12/2022 18:02

I’ve never ‘got there’. Not once in my life but I’ve never faked it. It doesn’t bother me though and I still like feeling close to my partner. That’s what sex is about for me, the closeness. I have never tried anything on myself as I don’t ever have any urges like that.

Since it’s important to you, be clear with him that you must finish first.

neverbeenskiing · 07/12/2022 18:24

Men are idiots, I’m sure!

No, sorry. Its too easy to say "men are idiots", or "I think all men are like this". The majority of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm and there are plenty of men who are willing and able to satisfy them. I don't believe that "men" generally are too idiotic to find out what makes their partner come and do it. The fact is that some men simply don't care about womens sexual pleasure. Some men just can't be arsed. Your DH is one of them. This isn't a problem with "men", it's a problem in your relationship and it won't change until you realise he's making a conscious choice to leave you unsatisfied and call him out on it. I would be willing to bet that if he is lazy and selfish in bed he's lazy and selfish in other ways too.

Thesenderofthiscard · 07/12/2022 20:23

i’m gay, we don’t call foreplay ‘foreplay’ it’s just all sex. I don’t think it’s helpful for straight women to have men think of it as separate, and it seems expendable, to sex. It is sex, it’s all part od being intimate and making sure someone gets off.

pallidbat · 07/12/2022 20:29

Thesenderofthiscard · 07/12/2022 20:23

i’m gay, we don’t call foreplay ‘foreplay’ it’s just all sex. I don’t think it’s helpful for straight women to have men think of it as separate, and it seems expendable, to sex. It is sex, it’s all part od being intimate and making sure someone gets off.

This is a good point actually. I'm I'm a hetero relationship but we still don't refer to "foreplay" because it's all part of sex. After all, if you take out everything hst could be considered foreplay, that would basically mean just him sticking his penis in you and thrusting until he finishes.

There's too many tired tropes about men skipping foreplay that people see it as acceptable and "the norm", much like sex instantly drying up once you get married. We need to challenge this!

Thesenderofthiscard · 07/12/2022 20:30

that would basically mean just him sticking his penis in you and thrusting until he finishes.‘

Cant think of anything worse!

Winemygoodenemy · 07/12/2022 20:38

can He not tell when you get there? My partner waits for me to finish before he does. As some as I am satisfied he immediately finishes. Says it’s what makes him finish. Last weekend I was in the mood and enjoyed the intimacy but I couldn’t finish. He said he wouldn’t either. At it was ages. Tried to fake it, but he knew 😂. Just one of those nights it wasn’t going to happen.

He always makes sure I am satisfied. He is an enthusiastic partner.