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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think he’s just a cocklodger?

161 replies

TheSunnySide · 06/12/2022 22:51

Lots of debate in previous months about the high profile marriage split of a famous (ish) Welsh actor, who got his big break with a bit part in the Titanic movie. He has spent the last year doing no work, no childcare and just traveling around the world with his new girlfriend who appears to also have no job.

And now he seems to have admitted that his living expenses are being funded by his poor partner who is also battling a challenging life-changing illness.

He's just another cocklodger, isn’t he?

OP posts:
LordPeregrineIII · 07/12/2022 17:43

I did like him in King Arthur, he comes across as a nice chap but who knows what goes on behind closed doors, I don't think it's helpful for strangers to speculate. A sorry mess all round and I sincerely hope Alice gets the help she clearly needs (not financial).

Vivi0 · 07/12/2022 17:49

Sunshinegirl82 · 07/12/2022 17:36

I think reunification therapy is underway as there are concerns that the relationship has been damaged by their mother. He is trying to get 50:50 custody so I'm not sure that suggests disinterest in the DC.

At the end of the day none of us know the ins and outs of it as we weren't there but I think we can say that Alice hasn't come across well based on the court documents we've seen thus far.

I agree, I think Alice has behaved appallingly.

I don’t think Ioan is disinterested in his children by any means, I just think he hasn’t considered his children’s feelings or perspectives in relation to some of his decisions.

Itsnamechange · 07/12/2022 18:10

It's not poor treatment to leave an abusive unhappy marriage (again evidence of this abuse has been submitted to court).

There's also nothing wrong with becoming involved in another relationship several months after leaving your marriage. There's no evidence it was an affair and Gruffud has sworn an affidavit stating he said he wanted out at the end of 2020, left in January 21 and became involved in another relationship 6/7 months later.

Attacking his girlfriend, who will likely end up in a wheelchair due to her MS and has done nothing other than exist and occasionally post positive things about her life, dog and her medical condition online is just pathetic. There's speculation she has family money. I've no idea if that's true.

Itsnamechange · 07/12/2022 18:40

twitter.com/ChampagneStraw2/status/1546956407018233856?t=oNx8WvleQNGWEZNb1uMaDw&s=19
This person has posted the dvro hearing documents. The custody case documents are around online if anyone wants to search. They detail her alienation of the kids, her alcohol abuse, the fact that Ioan had to hire staff to look after the girls while he was on location because she lies in bed all day.

DarceyG · 07/12/2022 18:46

TheSunnySide · 07/12/2022 17:06

Yep.

his poor treatment of his wife and children won’t go unnoticed.

Strangely, aside from the kids, I think I feel the most sorry for Bianca in all this. Many women have had the experience of a smooth talker who basically ends up not being who they said they are.

Yes there are many smooth talkers I’ve just had one of those myself he’s very difficult to get rid of completely. Yeah Bianca has made a huge mistake and will come to regret her place in this mess when the narcissistic prick runs for the hills should her condition get worse.

She is only 30 she’s been sucked in and look at the state of him. He looks so creepy he gives me the ick

Fragrantandfoolish · 07/12/2022 19:02

Itsnamechange · 07/12/2022 18:10

It's not poor treatment to leave an abusive unhappy marriage (again evidence of this abuse has been submitted to court).

There's also nothing wrong with becoming involved in another relationship several months after leaving your marriage. There's no evidence it was an affair and Gruffud has sworn an affidavit stating he said he wanted out at the end of 2020, left in January 21 and became involved in another relationship 6/7 months later.

Attacking his girlfriend, who will likely end up in a wheelchair due to her MS and has done nothing other than exist and occasionally post positive things about her life, dog and her medical condition online is just pathetic. There's speculation she has family money. I've no idea if that's true.

I think from the comments for some people it’s unforgivable to leave an abusive marriage if the abuser is a woman and the abused a man, and to start a relationship with someone else. To move on, especially if she’s younger, is a cardinal sin, you have to either take it or leave but you cannot tell and you can’t move on. It’s that abusers Matra

FrippEnos · 07/12/2022 19:13

Maybe he wouldn't be such a "cocklodger" if he wasn't paying for everything for his abusive ex?

Backthetruckup · 07/12/2022 19:15

Such a shame, they made a cute couple in 102 Dalmatians, hope they can both find a way to move on x

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 07/12/2022 19:47

Itsnamechange · 07/12/2022 18:10

It's not poor treatment to leave an abusive unhappy marriage (again evidence of this abuse has been submitted to court).

There's also nothing wrong with becoming involved in another relationship several months after leaving your marriage. There's no evidence it was an affair and Gruffud has sworn an affidavit stating he said he wanted out at the end of 2020, left in January 21 and became involved in another relationship 6/7 months later.

Attacking his girlfriend, who will likely end up in a wheelchair due to her MS and has done nothing other than exist and occasionally post positive things about her life, dog and her medical condition online is just pathetic. There's speculation she has family money. I've no idea if that's true.

He should have focused in his daughters' well-being rather than a new relationship. He won't die without getting laid.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 07/12/2022 19:50

Itsnamechange · 07/12/2022 18:40

twitter.com/ChampagneStraw2/status/1546956407018233856?t=oNx8WvleQNGWEZNb1uMaDw&s=19
This person has posted the dvro hearing documents. The custody case documents are around online if anyone wants to search. They detail her alienation of the kids, her alcohol abuse, the fact that Ioan had to hire staff to look after the girls while he was on location because she lies in bed all day.

If it's all so dire, why has he been jetting around the globe with his young girlfriend? Why didn't he rent a room near his daughters ' home and watch over them himself??

Namechangeagain000 · 07/12/2022 19:54

If you're of a mind to read it all, Tattle have been keeping track of this whole sorry saga. He is no angel but he 100% is the victim of a prolonged period of domestic abuse and she's done the very typical actions of an abuser when the victim flees and tried to maintain control of them.

Give the Heard/Depp trials I'm surprised this hasn't been picked up by a wider audience too.

TheSunnySide · 07/12/2022 20:02

I wouldn’t go near Tattle if you paid me. The posters are vile.

so many of them on Twitter are highly abusive.

I have read all of the documents in the restraining order case and so much of it really is hearsay. I have no doubt that Alice Evans went off the rails when her husband dumped her but we only have his word for it when it comes to many the things he said in that document.

simple truth is that Alice Evans stopped her career so that he could have his. He fucked off to Australia and I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out his thing with Bianca Wallace was going on a long time before they went public. She was certainly hanging round the bars the cast were frequenting in Brisbane for a long time before their Instagram announcement. She has also said herself that she was doing extra work on Harrow so she and he definitely met a lot earlier.

OP posts:
Namechangeagain000 · 07/12/2022 20:04

But she didn't need to stop work, most of the women in Hollywood are working mothers - both married and single. She's highly intelligent and an extremely skilled linguist so could always take work dubbing films or as an interpreter if all else fails on the acting front. She needs to get well and go to work.

MorganKitten · 07/12/2022 20:07

TheSunnySide · 06/12/2022 23:28

One of the children is about 8, the other not that much older. Still young enough for a court to expect someone in his position to support financially. Or is it different in California?

morally at least I would think they need to be housed. I can of course see the logic in selling the house and splitting the proceeds but my ‘angle’ was his recent revelations about his seemingly jobless girlfriend paying his bills. Though of course he is paying his wife and children’s bills. Maybe he should stop doing that.

They are 9 and 13, he has a lead role on a tv show, He has a three year restraining order against Alice. She has a lot of MH issues that hurt the relationship then and now.

Sunshinegirl82 · 07/12/2022 20:09

But all the documents were attached to the filing so how is it heresay? How is a print out of an email heresay?

The judge made it clear when granting the order that he wasn't relying on oral testimony Ioan submitted regarding him contacting his employers precisely because it was heresay. He relied only on the actual evidence presented of Alice's conduct.

Perfectpeace · 07/12/2022 20:11

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 07/12/2022 16:27

How was she stealing his money?

And how would an unknown like Bianca make money off social media?

Read the court documents - you will find them online. I’ve no idea what you are on about re Bianca and social media as I haven’t mentioned that???

MorganKitten · 07/12/2022 20:11

The court documents state he is paying everything on that houseg, $6,570 a month, there’s also back joint debts Alice won’t pay towards… so there’s definitely two sides to this one.

Cheeseandlobster · 07/12/2022 20:12

Perfectpeace · 07/12/2022 01:40

Did you start this thread in an attempt to hide the fact that court documents show Alice has been stealing Ioan’s money while hiding her own? Did you miss the part where is states he has paid every bill for the house, her and their children while she lies in bed, drugged and pissed daily? Did you miss the last set of court documents outlining the abuse she has directed at him and their children?

Alice is an absolute disgrace of a woman and I hope his house is sold ASAP, all the money she stole from him is returned and she has to move to the area of LA where 70% of children speak English as a second language, that she was so afraid of doing. Racist bitch to boot.

This. What a nasty little thread based on nothing but hearsay.

Perfectpeace · 07/12/2022 20:16

Namechangeagain000 · 07/12/2022 20:04

But she didn't need to stop work, most of the women in Hollywood are working mothers - both married and single. She's highly intelligent and an extremely skilled linguist so could always take work dubbing films or as an interpreter if all else fails on the acting front. She needs to get well and go to work.

She didn’t choose to stop work, she’s just that lazy and nasty no-one wants to offer her parts. Honestly, there are pages and pages of court documents outlining why Ioan was granted a domestic violence retraining order yet woman on here are tying themselves in knots trying to lay blame at his door for a situation entirely of her making.

Perfectpeace · 07/12/2022 20:18

Cheeseandlobster · 07/12/2022 20:12

This. What a nasty little thread based on nothing but hearsay.

I think there’s an agenda here. Latest set of court documents showing her financial abuse of him and then this appears! Very suspicious.

I wonder what the people defending her would be saying if the sexes were reversed.

Namechangeagain000 · 07/12/2022 20:18

Perfectpeace · 07/12/2022 20:16

She didn’t choose to stop work, she’s just that lazy and nasty no-one wants to offer her parts. Honestly, there are pages and pages of court documents outlining why Ioan was granted a domestic violence retraining order yet woman on here are tying themselves in knots trying to lay blame at his door for a situation entirely of her making.

Please read what I wrote. she needs to get well and go to work

also please see my previous comment. She's the abuser here. I've also had a nose through the OPs posting history...
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Perfectpeace · 07/12/2022 20:21

Namechangeagain000 · 07/12/2022 20:18

Please read what I wrote. she needs to get well and go to work

also please see my previous comment. She's the abuser here. I've also had a nose through the OPs posting history...
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Sorry, I did not mean to sound as though I was having a go at you. I agree with you, except that I don’t think she’s physically unwell as she has said herself no doctor has ever made a diagnosis of anything. She’s just unbelievably lazy and entitled and sees regular work as beneath her.

Namechangeagain000 · 07/12/2022 20:22

I don't think she's physically unwell but she is mentally unwell and clearly has addiction issues

Cheeseandlobster · 07/12/2022 20:26

Perfectpeace · 07/12/2022 20:18

I think there’s an agenda here. Latest set of court documents showing her financial abuse of him and then this appears! Very suspicious.

I wonder what the people defending her would be saying if the sexes were reversed.

Exactly. I have seen the vitriolic Instagram posts and tweets from AE which she wrote when she was intoxicated. Vile accusations and name calling about Bianca. Openly admitting to behaviour illustrating she has used their kids as weapons. One video was threatening and quite frankly disturbing. All deleted when she sobered up. Then in the past there were threats of suicide online and her openly saying she hoped their youngest dd did not inherit her fathers nose. She is nasty and probably capable of more nasty behaviour

Perfectpeace · 07/12/2022 20:31

TheSunnySide · 07/12/2022 16:56

Let me rephrase.

Amber Heard definitely produced bough evidence to prove in two court cases that Johnny Depp abused her.

Except she didn’t because she lost!!! My days, you are either playing with less than a full deck or just deliberately being goady.

The court documents contain Alice’s abusive emails, phone calls/voicemails and videos her children made so not hearsay at all.

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