To think you shouldn’t invite someone to your stag/hen if they’re not invited to your wedding?

[Justnosing]

And would you attend?

weekend abroad stag/hen. Been friends for around 10 years (they are friends/close relatives of our closer friends)

Stag and hen dos are coming up. The thing is, we’ve not been invited to the wedding which is in 2 months time…

we have invited the couple to every event we’ve hosted over the last 10 years. And have had the couple round without our other friends or their relatives.

We are the only friends out of our “group” that have been invited on the stag and hen (though this could be for other reasons), but not even an evening invite to the wedding.

would you go?

I don't see the problem. If you want to join, join. If not, don't.

What happened in the end op?

I think tactful honesty is probably the best approach here.

If you're not honest, you'll feel resentful if you go to the hen or the bride and groom may be annoyed if you cancel so close to it.

I think I'd ask them if you're invited to the wedding. This will be thier cue to explain why not (my guess is its a small wedding and they didn't want to invite only you guys and not the others in the friendship group).

It always surprises me how many friends people must have. A friendship of 10 years where you share lots of time together is totally wedding worthy. The fact she hasn't invited you means she must have quite a few friends who she feels she's closer to. Lucky her, I can count my close friends on one hand!

Not a chance I would go to a bloody hen do if I wasn't invited to the wedding.

I had an abroad wedding. Many of my friends are part of groups
There's no way they'd all have been able to come and my husband's group of family and friends is smaller than mine so we didn't invite everyone.
I had a reasonably cheap hen do not a weekend away etc nothing fancy just local. They all came. No one was offended.
It all depends on the circumstances

Always wonder on these type of hens if they're the ones where the organiser says 'remember we're all chipping in to cover the bride 😀'.......

I wouldn't have come to the hen do. You chose to have a wedding abroad so you chose to exclude people who couldn't attend your wedding.

I guess I would go if I wanted to go. But I certainly wouldn’t feel bad about said no.

It is really weird to invite someone to the hen and not the wedding, unless for some reason it’s a very small wedding. I would think the hen is normally the bride’s very best friends, with a wider group invited to the wedding. Certainly wouldn’t be everyone who is invited to the wedding, usually. Very odd to be the other way around.

Whether I went or not would depend what's on offer and if it's something I'd fancy. I'd feel no obligation neither would I feel snubbed if others of similar 'status' had not been invited either.
It's not free though is it. What could you do instead with a the money. Also I find these sort of events ar really about the company. Who'll be there?
Forget everything else and yoo what you want

Lucky you're not my friend or family then

That's the reason. They wanted gifts.
So much greed in weddings nowadays.

Always feel like you're only there to make up the numbers if you're not being invited to the wedding at all....

There's another thread about someone being invited to a wedding at less than 24 hours notice, they're obviously on the Reserve list.
Maybe you're on the reserve list for this wedding. Someone drops out, you get a last minute invitation. They don't miss out on a gift.

No! I personally think people lose their marbles slightly when planning their wedding! Putting everyone’s nose out of joint because it’s ‘their’ big day. Let them go for it but I wouldn’t be wasting my money on celebrating with them

So what happened?