To have answered this question from DH truthfully?

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Watching TV and a character mentioned making a sex tape with a partner. DH asked if I’d ever done that. I said yes, years ago, as a young woman, and that I’d been the only person with access to the video which is long since deleted. He’s now gone off in a nuclear huff using phrases I’m very pissed off about such as “I thought you were better than that.”

Was I being unreasonable to have answered truthfully? He’s done lots of things in his past that I disagree with (and had far more sex with far more partners than me!) and this feels like a double standard!!

Gawd men really are complete arses 🙄

"thought you were better than that"??

Tell him to fuck right off! Judgemental arse.

And your insistence doesn't make it not so The fact is that we don't know. But the OP is asking if she is BU for her partner being angry she made a sex tape. And the fact is, it's probably been uploaded online and if my partner did this I would personally be upset by it.

Oh hi Ops husband

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Its not a fact its probably been posted online. That's something you've just made up.

Its not a fact that we don't know either, op was the only one with access, Op deleted it. I think she knows better than the rest of us, and gave the facts already.

Do you often just make up scenarios that suit your moral judgements or is this a one off?

I don't think you can fairly say it's "probably" been anything. It could have been filmed on an old style camcorder and there was one VHS copy in the world. It could have been stored on an encrypted laptop in a locked fireproof box. The partner could have been moved to a cabin in Greenland with zero access to the internet immediately after making it.

Regardless, despite what you might see in the headlines of trashy red tops, most people don't post revenge porn because most people aren't actually sex offenders.

Well i guess would you be comfortable if he made a sex tape

Christ, and here I thought that was going to go down the route of him pressuring you to make one with him!

Tell him to go jump off a cliff, making a sex tape is perfectly fine and normal. It certainly doesn’t make you tawdry, which appears to be what he’s implying.

Oooohhh…I’m proper angry for you. If he’s this judgemental now, just watch it. He’ll only get worse.

Well, he did ask! Had you said no, would he have taken you at your word? Encouraged you to make one with him?

Sorry, but I think you need to get off your high horse here. I'm not making things up I just said there was a possibility that OP's ex had posted a sex tape online - which is possible.

I did similar stuff about 30 years ago. There might be photos out there, but there is nothing to connect them to me, and they are so tame compared to modern stuff.

Which is perfectly fine and reasonable as an adult to think like that but OP may not feel the same way

No. You said "probably" and "very likely".

Keyansier · Today 22:07
Personally I would be upset if a sex tape of my partner was online for all to see but they weren't bothered by it.
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I understand what you are saying but the op would not have bothered to delete the video if she wasn't bothered by it.

OP, as others have said, we all have a past. Many of us did things that we would never do now. If you have been with your partner for quite a while, been happy and trusting of each other, he needs to get over this. He probably will! After all, he has 'done things' too.

I hope all goes well for you from now on.

That is such a dick move, asking you the question and then judging the answer.

Obviously they are not my proudest moment, but there is so much content out there its pretty banal to other people 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I would be angry at him and say he’s being very judgmental and sexist and I thought he was better than that.

Because I personally think it's 'probable' and 'very likely' that if the OP filmed a sex tape that it would find its way online.

The irony of you telling me to 'get off my high horse' 🤣

You actually did make it up.

Op said

I’d been the only person with access to the video which is long since deleted

Then you said

It is very likely that your sex tape is on the internet for anyone to see

Can you see now that what op (the only person who knows the circumstances) said, doesn't correlate with what you said at all, because you just made it up completely.

Agree

Just because you don't agree with me doesn't mean I'm wrong.
The OP doesn't know if there is a sex tape online, none of us know, that's my point. She filmed a sex tape with her ex and he had the opportunity to put it online and may have done so.

Play stupid games win stupid prizes

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You didnt say it was a possibility you said it was "very likely" which is nonsense. For one thing revenge porn is a crime and most people arent stupid enough to post random sex tapes online risking a criminal record for the thrill of it, and op said she was the only one with access to it