To think colleague should have asked if I wanted Christmas off before she booked it off?

[SulkySam]

AIBU to be a bit pissed off colleague booked this Christmas off when she had last Christmas off too? Isn’t it the polite thing to alternate having it off.

I started in role in September last year and she’d already booked off for last year before I started. Absolutely fine.

For this year she mentioned in conversation she’d booked it off, told me it had been approved as if it was fait accompli. No discussion and as it had already been approved there wasn’t much I could say! Quite pissed off manager just approved it as well.

Obviously I’ve know for a few months now but it is still making me seethe! She is an older lady, no DC while I have 5 DC including two disabled children.

Of course that doesn’t mean I have priority over her having time off for Christmas (just to make that clear before someone jumps on it) but isn’t it usual etiquette to take turns?

Alternating is fair, but it has no need if one party doesn't show an interest...
It sounds like only the colleague put in booking request and no one else challenged it. So why not give it

It’s a lesson learnt I suppose. I’d ask the manager now if you can have next year off.

No. It’s not for two people working in the same role to work out cover. That is the manager’s job.

I am that older childless woman, and I fully resent never getting holidays in the summer. Christmas is very important to me with aging relatives and my lovely family, and I refuse to conscion the idea that I am less worthy of leave at that time than people who have children.

If I had five children I wouldn’t work in a field which needed me to work Christmases.

Not really. Just because someone is quick off the mark doesn’t mean they get all the holidays they want and sod everyone else. Selfish imo.

Our way, we don’t have people upset because we all work it out together and share.

Christmas or summer annual leave should not be on a first come first served basis. This will just lead to silly annual leave requests a year ahead

Or whenever you have to book, that might be 2nd Jan or it might be by Easter, for example. I still think it's fairest unless you can alternate. I don't like the idea of putting in requests and then the manager has to decide who's most deserving - under that system the people with small kids and no childcare will always get Christmas off.

As for people having to give up their leave because new joiners have already booked it off, that isn't always the case. I didn't have to work 25th and 26th, but I did have to work 27th when I started a new job because my colleagues had booked it off months before. Fortunately I got 24th off so could travel to visit my mum for Christmas, just had to come back on Boxing Day.

Any other way is down to poor/non existent management skills in an unprofessional environment.

I’m failing to see what crime the colleague had committed it was free so she booked it.

She's older, doesn't have children and has the temerity to organise her annual leave without consulting, the much more important, younger woman with children. The selfish old hag should also be offering free childcare on her days off because older + no children = no life.

Poor by management to handle Christmas leave in this way. All requests should go in and then allocated by managers. Disagree that Christmas should be first come first served.

Yeah you need to say something to your manager so that it is managed properly in future. Also get next yr booked in now!

My current role we are all asked to submit holiday requests for Xmas and they manage it collectively by seeing how many folk are willing to come in. If they have enough everyone's holidays get approved if not they then look at who didn't get it off last year and who did to work out who will get it.

I also worked somewhere where we had to have my role covered over Xmas and new year. So me another colleague had to take turns one year off one year on. That's only fair.

Why would your colleague voluntarily want to forego her Christmas with her family and friends in order to facilitate your holiday. She did the right thing, applied using the process in place and had it approved. It's good to be altruistic sometimes but it's a traditional time to spend with those you love and she made sure to play by the rules and secure her time off.

People with children aren't the only ones with family.

She's not a mind reader so unless OP spoke up early how would she know.

It's the company policy. First come first served so tough. Just because you have children doesn't make her time off any less valuable.

Why don't you suggest a fairer way to your manager for next year ?

I'm thinking she's waited until now to see if you book it off you haven't so she has.

@ThatGirlInACountrySong The OP hasn't had a chance as far as I can tell, as it sounds like the Xmas holiday slot has already been taken by the colleague who got in there first. Yes there is definitely a case and culture of 'you snooze you lose' but it's not particularly fair and a decent line manager would not allow that to happen. So I think it's worth complaining about. Plus if the OP doesn't complain then certainly nothing will happen. It sounds like there must always be cover over Xmas, and the other staff member would have known that she took last year off and therefore should have been working this year. IMO it's down to the line manager to sort this out make sure things are fair in this situation and a fair line manager would do that.

Yup. That's about the size of it. Whenever something doesn't go to plan, look out for an older woman to blame, and sacrifice her own wishes to fix it for you.
Other adults should always prioritise your children over themselves, and if that adult happens to be a woman, that counts double.

Alls fair in love, war & Christmas holidays

you should’ve requested it off as soon as it was available to you to book, she got in there first.

What type of work do you do?

And the reason it’s relevant is because many workplaces DO prioritise those who’ve managed to procreate. I’m about to work my 9th Xmas in a row because the parent brigade where I work think their kids will melt if mummy isn’t there for the entire Christmas period.

I think this is really paradoxical. We know that women with children have real difficulties in managing life-family-work balance because workplaces are organised for male employees as the default human being. And that men with children don’t (won’t?) step up to share all the load.

This needs to change.

And yet, every time on these threads, those of us without children are castigated and treated as second-class human beings by many posters.

This also needs to change.

It’s tough to be the main person responsible for children, housework and family life while working (often for less money than your male colleagues). But speaking for childless women, single women, older women - our time and sacrifice is NOT the solution.

So@SulkySam yes YANBU to want to spend Christmas with your family.

But you are TOTALLY unreasonable to blame your inability to do so on your older childless female colleague.

My eldest is 13 and I have always been that pain in the arse colleague who gets the Christmas request in as soon as it was possible. For most of my career I was living at opposite side of country to relatives. Childcare is also closed during Christmas period. I didn’t have money to pay a babysitter while I worked. Other colleagues used to book really quick too as they also lived far from where their families were from or had elderly unwell parents. It was mostly the ones who were originally from city we were in that worked it and the manager used to try make it so they only had one day each to work.
I work a job now where no one in my department has to work between Christmas and New Years.
Could you look into other PT jobs where working over Christmas isn’t needed or else learn to be the early bird.

What way is leave allocated. In my work there are different leave lists and the person with the highest grade (seniority) is at top. If there are two or more of the same grade on the same list, then it is whoever has the most years service comes first

I can imagine why you're frustrated OP but unfortunately it's one of those things in certain jobs.
Years ago I worked in a bank and we had holiday lists - basically we were in groups of around 6 and you chose in order of length of service. The first time it was sent around you picked two weeks, then the next another two weeks etc. Unfortunately I was in a group with people who had been there much longer than me so Christmas was always long gone by the time the list got to me. But I did usually pick a week at Easter which was nice (5 days off for 4 days AL).

What days are you wanting off, have you not got the Sat, Sun, Mon, Tues off?

Op hasn't come back. Doubt this was genuine

This is on your manager. I don't do first come first served but I do balance between everyone. I don't think people with children should necessarily get priority though.

Different places work in different ways
One place I worked at.for several years organised leave by years of service so the same people had first choice of holidays and always booked Christmas off
I had to fly to another country on Christmas Eve after work and fly back again early morning on the 27th to be at work on time
It sucked big time but that was the rules