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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think colleague should have asked if I wanted Christmas off before she booked it off?

384 replies

SulkySam · 06/12/2022 19:15

AIBU to be a bit pissed off colleague booked this Christmas off when she had last Christmas off too? Isn’t it the polite thing to alternate having it off.

I started in role in September last year and she’d already booked off for last year before I started. Absolutely fine.

For this year she mentioned in conversation she’d booked it off, told me it had been approved as if it was fait accompli. No discussion and as it had already been approved there wasn’t much I could say! Quite pissed off manager just approved it as well.

Obviously I’ve know for a few months now but it is still making me seethe! She is an older lady, no DC while I have 5 DC including two disabled children.

Of course that doesn’t mean I have priority over her having time off for Christmas (just to make that clear before someone jumps on it) but isn’t it usual etiquette to take turns?

OP posts:
LadyGAgain · 07/12/2022 00:31

gamerchick · 06/12/2022 19:38

No it's snooze you lose OP. You should have got in there first. Next year.

This

Aubree17 · 07/12/2022 05:43

Is this actually Xmas day or just time off over the festive period?

Did you ask your manager for time off? Not everyone wants time off at Xmas. If not, how was she to know?

If it's Xmas day that's a little different and there should be a form of rota system or discussion beforehand.

NotToBeShaked · 07/12/2022 06:03

We have a rota system over Christmas and New year and write a specific rota for the season. People have to work either Christmas or New year. If it isn't resolved by people picking then we look at last year's rota to resolve.

WhateverHappenedToMe · 07/12/2022 06:18

Surprisingly enough, older colleagues can have elderly parents and might want to spend what could be their last Christmas with them.

They may not have children, but they can be children.

RoachPussy · 07/12/2022 06:46

They would have said they wanted Christmas off and you would have then said that you wanted it too. Pointless conversation.

FoldemUp · 07/12/2022 06:48

She is an older lady, no DC while I have 5 DC including two disabled children.

Of course that doesn’t mean I have priority over her having time off for Christmas (just to make that clear before someone jumps on it)

So why mention it? It’s clear you think that her Christmas is of less value than yours, and you have more right to the leave.

Why didn’t you apply for your leave in a timely manner?

Damnautocorrect · 07/12/2022 06:53

in the team I managed, Me and my team were happy for the people with children to be off for Christmas whilst we worked it.

your manager should manage it better. Previous work places have not allowed people to apply for Christmas until September and have it discussed within the team before approval.

Mistressofnone · 07/12/2022 06:55

Personally I can see the OPs frustration but would have raised it earlier. Could have said early in the year they would like to book Christmas off this year but could manager explain how it works, if there is a rota system etc.

MyPurpleHeart · 07/12/2022 06:56

It's the 7th december and you haven't booked it off yet. What did you expect her to do, wait and see if you were going to book it?

You dropped the ball here

Feelallright · 07/12/2022 07:05

Management should manage the Christmas rota. It should not be first come first served, no matter how it’s done at other times of the year. Things to take in account: who had it off last year or the previous year, who has volunteered to have it off previously, which other popular days are they working - eg, Boxing Day, New Year’s Day etc

ferntwist · 07/12/2022 07:09

I bet most of the posters who have said “you snooze, you lose” have ever actually worked in a role where you have to work over Christmas. Time off for Christmas should be managed fairly, with alternate years worked. I’ve had to work either Christmas or New Year my entire working life and that’s always how it is done. It is very poor management to allow a free-for-all

londonrach · 07/12/2022 07:15

Yabu. Your comment about her not having children is awful. Surely she allowed a Christmas too. Surely who ever books first...you booked next year yet

CeeceeBloomingdale · 07/12/2022 07:18

I've only ever worked in places where it is first come, first served. It's on you to put it in first, not her to ask your permission to apply.

NoNameNowAgain · 07/12/2022 07:20

ferntwist · 07/12/2022 07:09

I bet most of the posters who have said “you snooze, you lose” have ever actually worked in a role where you have to work over Christmas. Time off for Christmas should be managed fairly, with alternate years worked. I’ve had to work either Christmas or New Year my entire working life and that’s always how it is done. It is very poor management to allow a free-for-all

That’s really why I don’t believe she’s actually talking about Sunday 25th December. It’s too casual a system.

Tessabelle74 · 07/12/2022 07:26

@Itaintwhatyoudoitsthewaythatyoudoit that's an even dafter policy than first come first served as what if you've asked for the same fortnight as a colleague and you both want to go abroad, do the management give you both a week each? How do they decide which week you get?

Tessabelle74 · 07/12/2022 07:29

@ferntwist I said you snooze you lose and I've worked in both care and retail so yes I have worked Christmas. In fact in my last care home it's the only fair policy I've ever known in that EVERYONE worked Christmas day, we all did 4 hours and whether that was morning, afternoon or evening was randomly selected. Even in jobs where it's supposed to be alternate years it rarely works like that as new starters coming in claim they already have Christmas booked off which needs honouring and existing staff ending up working again

Itaintwhatyoudoitsthewaythatyoudoit · 07/12/2022 07:43

Feelallright · 07/12/2022 07:05

Management should manage the Christmas rota. It should not be first come first served, no matter how it’s done at other times of the year. Things to take in account: who had it off last year or the previous year, who has volunteered to have it off previously, which other popular days are they working - eg, Boxing Day, New Year’s Day etc

Exactly this

I remember working with someone who as soon as annual leave was put on the internal system would request every day off after a public holiday to ensure she had four days off. When the time came around and others decided they might take it off, they realised what she had done. Mgt hadn’t approved her requested leave and hers was refused. She made a big fuss that she had booked flights home (family in another country) for every public holiday. It was her own fault. Colleagues have to be fair.

Aprilx · 07/12/2022 07:44

I have never asked my colleagues about taking time off and nor have I ever taken Christmas in turns as I have never had an identical job to a colleague so cover is not an issue.

And I have absolutely zero sympathy for you on account of the comment about your colleague not having children.

Schlaar · 07/12/2022 07:48

When did you find out she’d booked Xmas? Its a bit late if you’re trying to book it now! Sorry but she booked her holiday and it was available, you had the same opportunity as her to book it.

Itaintwhatyoudoitsthewaythatyoudoit · 07/12/2022 07:53

Tessabelle74 · 07/12/2022 07:26

@Itaintwhatyoudoitsthewaythatyoudoit that's an even dafter policy than first come first served as what if you've asked for the same fortnight as a colleague and you both want to go abroad, do the management give you both a week each? How do they decide which week you get?

Yes one week each and people adjusted their holidays accordingly.

It was a very large organisation but the same policy applied in every department including the smaller depts. . It worked very well. In the smaller delta, colleagues worked it out between themselves sometimes and if they didn’t have a good relationship, submitted leave which wasn’t approved until nearer the time and everyone’s requests were taken into account.

It wouldn’t have been fair for one person to get all Christmas off, all school midterm breaks off etc.

Most people were decent enough not to automatically request the most popular times but there were some, usually the same ones every year, who would make a song and dance about it.

Mgt would take all requested leave, look at the numbers and ho back to the team requesting people to revise their requests. If people didn’t comply, their leave would be decided for them.. It worked.

slashlover · 07/12/2022 09:33

ferntwist · 07/12/2022 07:09

I bet most of the posters who have said “you snooze, you lose” have ever actually worked in a role where you have to work over Christmas. Time off for Christmas should be managed fairly, with alternate years worked. I’ve had to work either Christmas or New Year my entire working life and that’s always how it is done. It is very poor management to allow a free-for-all

I've worked in retail where we were only closed Christmas day, where we had to work Christmas day and where holidays were not allowed in December at all (unless an emergency).

I still say "you snooze, you lose".

KimberleyClark · 07/12/2022 10:04

The last place I worked used to close down between Christmas and New Year which was good, but before that was brought in there’d be a whole team meeting - about 20 of us in our department (not including the CEO and directors) - in October where the team leader would raise Christmas cover and about 10 people would say oh yes they didn’t mind covering.. So the team leader would say great, that looks like we have enough cover. But then come the actual time there was never more than two or three of us in - the rest had just changed their minds and booked leave. AFAIK there was never any comeback about the Christmas cover, it just seemed to be expected that people wouldn’t work when they’d said they would.

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/12/2022 10:17

@SulkySam said in op that she’s known for a couple of months so guessing had that chat august/sept

bur still doesn’t say why she didn’t book those 3 days off needed for Xmas

Jayne35 · 07/12/2022 10:21

I think it should be alternate years for staff who work in a business open all year, like a Hotel. Why should the same staff members get Christmas day off every single year just because they request it on 1st Jan? Children or no children is irrelevant imo.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 07/12/2022 10:24

My boss did a spreadsheet of everyone's preferred leave and them addressed any days we were all wanting to be out. This was before anyone's leave was approved.