To think colleague should have asked if I wanted Christmas off before she booked it off?

[SulkySam]

AIBU to be a bit pissed off colleague booked this Christmas off when she had last Christmas off too? Isn’t it the polite thing to alternate having it off.

I started in role in September last year and she’d already booked off for last year before I started. Absolutely fine.

For this year she mentioned in conversation she’d booked it off, told me it had been approved as if it was fait accompli. No discussion and as it had already been approved there wasn’t much I could say! Quite pissed off manager just approved it as well.

Obviously I’ve know for a few months now but it is still making me seethe! She is an older lady, no DC while I have 5 DC including two disabled children.

Of course that doesn’t mean I have priority over her having time off for Christmas (just to make that clear before someone jumps on it) but isn’t it usual etiquette to take turns?

You are right of course! I forgot that as well as either swanning around and spending all my spare cash in all my spare time OR rotting in a pit of bitterness and loneliness I'm also meant to forget about any holidays or other commitments I might have. So many rules to follow in this childfree world 😉

Working on the assumptions that:
You don’t work Sundays or bank holidays;
You hadn’t requested any leave over Christmas by the beginning of December;
You don’t actually work overtime to cover your colleague’s absence;
I don’t think either the colleague or management are unreasonable.

If we are talking feast days and bank holidays then management seem a bit laid back.

If the leave year runs January to December people with children often have very little leave left to take by Christmas.

Of course @Woolandwonder #bekind and the one I keep seeing on these threads with posters stating their HORROR! at colleagues without kids thinking they can get time off at Christmas DON'T BE SO SELFISH!!!
(And i am a parent I just don't think it gives entitlement to ride roughshod over others and then pull the above!)

The irony being of course that if people are actually kind, thoughtful and less entitled I'd be the first person bending over backwards for them so they can be with their kids/care for their elderly relatives or whatever, whenever they needed that.

I used to be sure to send my email for leave on the first day of the new year as this is when our holiday reset. I always volunteered to work on NYd early shift so I could.

It was only when we were discussing if I’d be booking any more time off that she mentioned she booked Christmas off already. At the time I was kind of WTF but got on with it
When did this conversation happen? Christmas is in 2.5 weeks time, if you were so bothered about booking it off why have you only thought of it now? Or did you assume you'd be allowed to have it off even though you haven't requested it, because you worked last year?

What is wrong with everyone tonight. OP you are not being unreasonable your colleague had Christmas off last year it is only fair that you have it this year. Sorry everyone has got the nasties tonight fight your corner or she will do it every year. Best of luck!

Well, in future you will know what to do. Mind you, don’t do what a colleague of mine did and book every school holiday for a year so nobody else could, and then cancel the bits she didn’t need at her leisure later in the year.

Ee. Well she must be well liked. I am surprised she wasn't pushed out

Book next Christmas off now if you can. Or as soon as your employers holiday year refreshes

100% ^This - @SulkySam.

Thankfully I don't have this work situation, so it's never been an issue - my children are adults, and though I still enjoy spending Christmas Day with them, I'd understand if someone with young children wanted first dibs... It's only fair to take turns though.

Had a colleague who did this, who thought first come first served. Was booking things 2-3 years in advance and assuming had first dibs! It’s completely unreasonable behaviour. And manager is hopeless to not, well, manage it!!

I left that job! And pity whoever is working with that colleague right now

If it's first come first served, book next year off now. If it's take it in turns go to your manager and let them deal with it.

No. Why would she?

On your first date back in 2023 book Christmas off

Any decent company would alternate it between staff doing the same job but as tour's does'nt, get booking

She does not need to run a leave request by you whatsoever. You are part-time so I think she will get preference anyway, if for example you had both requested leave on the same day. However having said that how far ahead did she book? A good manager would ask for all holiday season leave requests to be submitted by a particular date and then adjudicate the schedule fairly. Else you may as well book Christmas leave for 2023, 2024 and 2025 now, where does it end?. YANBU and I do feel the manager is quite poor.

in the new year start telling your colleague how much you’re looking forward to having next Christmas off.

good idea. That’ll remind them to submit their leave requests.

If your employer works on a first request policy, then that is what should govern the leave policy. If the policy is known by all employees, then the only expectation should be that the employer follows the policy.

Xmas can be as meaningful to a single childless older person as it is to a parent with multiple young children. There is no need for your co-workers to consult you about their plans.

If you think that the policy should be reevaluated or revised , you should take that up with your employer.

Your anger is misdirected. You should be annoyed with your employer's policy rather than the employee who adhere to the policy.

It doesn't work like that. Your colleague is not required to consult you before booking her annual leave. I wouldn't expect that of a peer at all.

If only one person can be off at a time, the manager should be responsible for dealing with it.

Potentially this. If that's the way it operates, get in on 2 Jan.

Although ideally talk to your manager and get some alternation going so you aren't racing each other.

in the new year start telling your colleague how much you’re looking forward to having next Christmas off.

I wouldn't do this... if she wants it off, she should book the time off.

I just knew this would be about a childless colleague. OP would you be complaining if she had young children?

This is a reflection of extremely poor management.

Christmas or summer annual leave should not be on a first come first served basis. This will just lead to silly annual leave requests a year ahead.

In the companies I have worked for, everyone had to submit their preferred annual leave. It was then discussed to see how many people could be off at the same time and if everyone wanted the same dates off, then it would be a requirement that everyone worked one of the days they had initially requested off if it meant everyone was granted at least of the their requested time off.

ie granted at least some of their requested time off.