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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner brushing your teeth (lighthearted)

63 replies

AuntMarysPinny · 06/12/2022 12:59

Please settle a debate between me and a friend. After decades of friendship she has just revealed that her husband sometimes brushes her teeth for her! She says she sometimes doesn't have the energy after looking after young kids all day and it's nice to have someone take care of you. I felt physically repulsed! The idea of someone being that close to me, cleaning my teeth, peering into my mouth - I'm shuddering just typing this. Each of us thinks the other is being odd so...

YABU - a partner brushing your teeth is the highest level of intimacy that can be achieved

YANBU - it's an obscene act that shouldn't be talked about in polite society

OP posts:
allthelittlelights · 06/12/2022 12:59

Ew no.

StollenAway · 06/12/2022 13:00

I don’t know why but this really made me
laugh, thanks OP!

My kids liked to brush my teeth at times when they were toddlers as a way of encouraging them to brush their own. They weren’t very good at it. I’ve never asked DH tbh but I don’t find the thought repulsive, just it would probably be a bit annoying if his brush strokes weren’t satisfactory.

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 06/12/2022 13:01

I think it's quite sweet.

Dello · 06/12/2022 13:03

My DH would

  1. not do this

but if he did, he’d inadvertently be knocking my teeth with the brush and use far too much toothpaste. I’ve seen him attempting brushing the children’s teeth when the children were little! It is the opposite of relaxing.

I don’t think 2 adults should be in the bathroom at the same time unless already clean and sharing a shower.

FoxyLadyBOOtique · 06/12/2022 13:03

I think I would probably quite enjoy it.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 06/12/2022 13:04

That's a bit odd!

MavisMcMinty · 06/12/2022 13:04

If you’ve broken both your collarbones, it’s fine for your partner to brush your teeth, wipe your bum and deal with your tampons/periods. (This happened to my physiotherapist, after a skiing accident, she told me about it when I was moaning about my single fractured right collarbone.) Otherwise it’s Prince/King Charles territory.

MustardCress · 06/12/2022 13:05

It might not be for everyone but I also think it’s quite sweet! Imagine being 90 years old and frail and having someone who loves you do this for you. It’s very touching really ❤️ animals groom each other!

IDontWantToBeAPie · 06/12/2022 13:05

I think it's sweet as well. I've never done it but it seems a small gesture to make her feel loved and taken care of when she's knackered.

I'm sure they've put worse in each others mouths than a toothbrush Blush

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 06/12/2022 13:06

My husband would totally do this but I wouldn't ever want him to.

Fleabigg · 06/12/2022 13:07

Absolutely not. I get quite touched out by the end of the day though and don’t even like anyone touching my hair or similar.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 06/12/2022 13:07

Brushing/washing hair would be lovely but teeth cleaning just seems strange to me.

StollenAway · 06/12/2022 13:08

I don’t think 2 adults should be in the bathroom at the same time unless already clean and sharing a shower.

Really?! You wouldn’t say sit and chat to your partner while they were in the bath? Or just brush your teeth at the same time?

StollenAway · 06/12/2022 13:09

Also I’ve decided to ask DH to brush my teeth tonight and see whether it’s enjoyable or not.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 06/12/2022 13:10

I hate this idea but I also have a real thing against anyone putting anything in my mouth (I know!). Can’t bear the idea of couples feeding each other either

OoooohMatron · 06/12/2022 13:11

What??? The only time this would be remotely acceptable is if both my arms were in plaster. Even then I'd probably find a way!

PinkButtercups · 06/12/2022 13:14

She doesn't have the energy to brush her teeth. What a fucking wet blanket. Bet she had the energy to wipe though.

It's pathetically funny.

ParbadosBeach · 06/12/2022 13:20

This is not sweet in the slightest.
Only time this would be acceptable is if you're physically unable to do this for yourself.

Somanysocks · 06/12/2022 13:45

I've cleaned my dad's teeth for him, and then put them in a glass of water.

Dello · 06/12/2022 13:48

@StollenAway
ok perhaps a conversation in a bath but really prefer someone not watching me trying to get rid of hard foot skin, shave my legs and rinse a bath out etc

alittleadvicepls · 06/12/2022 13:50

DH would totally brush my teeth if I asked him to but like… why? He’s washed my hair many times before though and it’s really nice!

Christmasnero · 06/12/2022 13:51

The idea of someone being that close to me, cleaning my teeth, peering into my mouth - I'm shuddering just typing this.

Gosh op, her partner has probably been closer to her than that before
given she has children, I’d wager they’ve been much closer than him looking at her mouth

ChocoFudge · 06/12/2022 13:58

Err no thanks!
I can't imagine why anyone would want someone else to brush their teeth for them barring serious injury or illness making it impossible? Surely if you're so tired that you can't physically brush your own teeth then you should see a doctor cos that isn't normal!

10HailMarys · 06/12/2022 14:00

Creepy as fuck. Infantilising and weird.

xogossipgirlxo · 06/12/2022 14:00

I don't think it's obscene, but it's definitely weird. I thought you were talking about someone very ill and bedbound, not tired.