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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend ....splashing the cash aren't you?aibu?

111 replies

ilgiveyouonemoretime · 06/12/2022 12:49

Just got back from a week abroad and had a great time.(first time abroad in 12 years )
Friend rang and asked if we had a good time-I said yes and we had got the bug and booked for Greece next august.
We were talking about plans and I said this weekend me and partner are going to Edinburgh and she kind of said "must be nice "

Then my partner tagged me in fb a post about concert tickets he had bought for us for next year.
Within a minute friend rang and said "you both are splaying the cash a bit aren't you -must be nice and tutted"
Then said "won the lottery "
I said no I wish and laughed it off

The holiday this year was bit monthly D/D £200 each and the same next years.
The concert tickets were probably put on his credit card.
The trip to Edinburgh hotel is paid for because I've been selling bits I don't want on vinted and made £300

My friend has just spent £5000 on a new car (from inheritance) so it's not that she's struggling with money or anything.

Me and partner have no children yet -we don't really drink or smoke and I don't have a car to pay insurance /petrol for as my job is within walking distance so we save a bit.

Aibu to talk about things I have a planned?
I just get excited
I was a carer for my mum for 10 years and had no life ..she passed two years ago and I just have this whole new life where I can go out and do stuff and it's really nice
I can actually smile and not have the weight of the world on my shoulders

OP posts:
Original poster
ilgiveyouonemoretime · 06/12/2022 12:50

*splashing

OP posts:
FairyLightAddict · 06/12/2022 12:51

Oh god. Ignore her. It's none of her business.

StickyCricket · 06/12/2022 12:54

She sounds a bit miserable, I love hearing about peoples plans to give me some ideas of things to book or places to go, and it’s lovely to have stuff to look forward to.

Ignore her and enjoy Edinburgh!

donttellmehesalive · 06/12/2022 12:56

Well she won't know the ins and outs of how you're paying for things, but presumably knows how you supported your mum and that you haven't been abroad for 12 years, so she does just sound very jealous and mean.

Trying to be kind - could she be struggling with something that is exacerbating her jealousy? Despite the inheritance she could have money or job worries, or relationship issues.

I think you carry on as you are and ignore though, what else can you do.

notnowB · 06/12/2022 12:57

You don't have to justify yourself to her or anyone.
Enjoy your treats - you deserve them!

NoseyNellie · 06/12/2022 12:58

Sometimes friends don’t cope well with our changes in circumstances - it might be that she was comfortable with you as a friend when your life was ‘harder’ than hers. It’s her issue if she is jealous/envious of you. I’m sorry if it’s upsetting to you - she may adjust, she may fade away as a friend, but try not to take it personally

Cheesuswithallama · 06/12/2022 13:01

I bet she is on MN. Would fit right in

shiningstar2 · 06/12/2022 13:03

Try to ignore. Share your good news with those who are pleased for you. I have friends who have a lot more than DH and me. They are lovely.. I love hearing of their adventures. I also have friends who perhaps don't have as much as me. They are also lovely and the like to hear what we do. It doesn't matter whether you've earned the money, inherited it or won the lottery. So long as you came by it honestly why would anybody mind how you spend it? If some do don't tell them your plans. 😄

MoanySloney · 06/12/2022 13:03

Your friend is a twat. HTH.

devildeepbluesea · 06/12/2022 13:04

This would hardly even cross my radar. Just ignore her.

Fragrantandfoolish · 06/12/2022 13:08

She’s jealous. Pure and simple.

CovertImage · 06/12/2022 13:16

Maybe she wasn't being a "twat" - nice bit of misogynistic insulting there from a PP - but just saying a daft thing like actual friends often do to each other.

Rockingcloggs · 06/12/2022 13:17

Tell her it's fuck all to do with her.

PumpkinDart · 06/12/2022 13:18

I'd let it slide, if it comes up again or becomes a theme I'd ask her to stop commenting on your spending. Could be something and nothing, Christ my mil accuses us of splashing the cash if we go out for lunch, some people just use silly phrases.

horseyhorsey17 · 06/12/2022 13:20

She sounds like she's jealous that you're having more fun than she is.

AreOttersJustWetCats · 06/12/2022 13:22

She's not a good friend - someone who cared about you would be happy that you had some fun things planned. Instead she's wrapped up in her own envy.

JamSandle · 06/12/2022 13:24

Jealousy.

Enjoy your experiences :)

Outtasteamandluck · 06/12/2022 13:24

Hurt people, hurt people.

Woahtherehoney · 06/12/2022 13:26

As someone who was also a carer and put their life on hold for a bit, I also now like enjoying myself as and when I can around childcare and feel no guilt for going away or having some free time. Ignore her - she sounds jealous!

AreOttersJustWetCats · 06/12/2022 13:28

The holiday this year was by monthly D/D £200 each and the same next years. The concert tickets were probably put on his credit card.

(The trip to Edinburgh hotel is paid for because I've been selling bits I don't want on vinted and made £300

Me and partner have no children yet -we don't really drink or smoke and I don't have a car to pay insurance /petrol for as my job is within walking distance so we save a bit.

Because of this woman's comment, you're falling into the trap of thinking that you need to justify and minimise how you spend your spending and where the money came from. You don't need to justify it to anyone!

AreOttersJustWetCats · 06/12/2022 13:28

Argh, ignore typos

B00B · 06/12/2022 13:31

She sounds jealous

NoGoodUsernamee · 06/12/2022 13:33

Give less fucks OP.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 06/12/2022 13:40

its none of their business how you spend your money.

just shrug it off and don’t feel bad about spending your hard earned cash on stuff you want to do.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 06/12/2022 13:47

CovertImage · 06/12/2022 13:16

Maybe she wasn't being a "twat" - nice bit of misogynistic insulting there from a PP - but just saying a daft thing like actual friends often do to each other.

Oh FFS.