Friend ....splashing the cash aren't you?aibu?

[ilgiveyouonemoretime]

Just got back from a week abroad and had a great time.(first time abroad in 12 years )
Friend rang and asked if we had a good time-I said yes and we had got the bug and booked for Greece next august.
We were talking about plans and I said this weekend me and partner are going to Edinburgh and she kind of said "must be nice "

Then my partner tagged me in fb a post about concert tickets he had bought for us for next year.
Within a minute friend rang and said "you both are splaying the cash a bit aren't you -must be nice and tutted"
Then said "won the lottery "
I said no I wish and laughed it off

The holiday this year was bit monthly D/D £200 each and the same next years.
The concert tickets were probably put on his credit card.
The trip to Edinburgh hotel is paid for because I've been selling bits I don't want on vinted and made £300

My friend has just spent £5000 on a new car (from inheritance) so it's not that she's struggling with money or anything.

Me and partner have no children yet -we don't really drink or smoke and I don't have a car to pay insurance /petrol for as my job is within walking distance so we save a bit.

Aibu to talk about things I have a planned?
I just get excited
I was a carer for my mum for 10 years and had no life ..she passed two years ago and I just have this whole new life where I can go out and do stuff and it's really nice
I can actually smile and not have the weight of the world on my shoulders

She sounds like she’s not really a friend at all! Maybe she was enjoying being the ‘rich’ friend with her inheritance?
Enjoy what you can, whilst you can!

You don’t need to justify your spending.

however if you have been hard up and she has been a sounding board for you and a good ear, and then suddenly a holiday, a weekend away, concerts and then another holiday booked for next year it can be a bit frustrating being the person taking the emotional load in a friendship and trying to help them manage things,

not saying that’s what’s happened here but jumping right on the other person without context is a bit harsh

Let it slide. You don’t need to justify or explain. You’ve made your decisions.

In a short space of time she probably just noted 2 holidays, 1 weekend away and concert tickets, not really thinking about that it’s spread over 2 years.

My 'actual friends' don't tend to tut and sneer at me for booking a holiday or resent me doing anything nice. Maybe you need to get better ones if you think that's normal.

Sounds a bit jealous op

We've booked all of next years hols/gigs etc already, but we usually do that. I love having things to look forward to.

I’ve just said no to GnR tix as it feels
like a lot going out at once. But I may change my mind next year.

Could it just be a throwaway comment from her? There's an older lady in my work, who, everytime one of the younger ones comes in with something new, she makes comments like "oh, you can't hide money eh!". Or "oh, someone's feeling flush!". It's all done in a jokey way, with a smile and a laugh and she is the most lovely woman, wouldn't begrudge anyone anything.

I was a carer for my mum for 10 years and had no life

You have no need to justify how you have paid for everything but as someone who is recently coming out of the fog of being a full time carer I just want to wish you all the best and tell you to enjoy your life. My mum is in a home but 18 months after she went into hospital I am still in shock at how different my life is now and the little things that others take for granted that I can now experience. Enjoy every minute - no caring friend would begrudge the freedom you have.

Enjoy as many trips and holidays as you want. Pay no mind to your miserable friend.

@IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere it's crazy isn't it the difference.
I used to go to Tesco and think I can't look at the clothes because I need to be back incase she needs the toilet ...it's strange being able to look around and not worry about not having enough time or if I take too long she might stand up and fall over
It's so strange

It's not a throwaya comment when the frien actually called to comment. It would be if it was mid conversation, not specific conversation about that.

YANBU OP, you should be able to talk about your plans with friends.

@Singlebutmarried same I love having things planned now.
It's a novelty for me
We got blur tickets and so excited
My friend went to see GNR and said they were fantastic

She's a rude bitch. Ignore her.

Enjoy Edinburgh and the concert, and your holiday! You deserve it.

Don't explain to her the £200 a month and credit card etc. You didn't need to explain it to us.

Next time she says "must be nice" reply, "it is".

YANBU - especially as a friend would know you’ve not been able to do anything for past years.

some people just don’t like others to have a good time

I agree with the last sentence. When you show guilting for no good reason doesn't work, they move on

I hope you also call out every comment that refers to someone as a dick or a cock as misandry otherwise can you not with this virtue signaling nonsense

Just say no, I’m not splashing ‘the’ cash, I’m splashing MY cash, what’s it to you? I would honestly say “it feels to me you have a problem with what I choose to spend my money on. Am I right? “ call her out!

She is jealous.
A £5,000 secondhand car is not a fancy car - have you looked at car prices lately? So I would assume she needs a new car. She may indeed may not be able to afford what you have spent.

I'd say 'yes it's great to be able to treat ourselves occasionally after being careful for so long'! Then smile. Then perhaps change the subject?
I did have an acquaintance who would go on and on about how the villa they had on some island was on the wrong end so too windy, though the pool and cinema room was great, then went on to detail her upcoming skiing trip, plus her mini break to Barcelona... I don't think she even thought about that the rest of us were lucky to get one holiday abroad. We enjoyed hearing about her trips but didn't like the moaning that went with it and her monopolising the conversation.

oh shut up! A knob then, is that allowed? 🙄 pick your battles dad! virtue signalling at its most pathetic.

Years when money was tight we had this with our one real luxury a family UK holiday at a reduction.

It pretty much always turned out family and friends had serval holidays often aboard lost of meals out trips away - and they'd often expect me to listen and be interested in their plans. It did get very irritating - I learnt to tune it out or change the subject.

Not related, but a friend saw them in Aus at the weekend and said they were shit

You enjoy every bloody minute of fun and freedom. You deserve it.

I cared for my parents for 2 years and it nearly finished me off tbh. I know exactly what you mean about not having that weight on your shoulders.

If your friend can't be happy for you, or at least keep her opinions to herself, bin her off.

Your money your hobbies. Nobody else has a say on it unless they’re loaning you the money. She’s just jealous