Friend ....splashing the cash aren't you?aibu?

[ilgiveyouonemoretime]

Just got back from a week abroad and had a great time.(first time abroad in 12 years )
Friend rang and asked if we had a good time-I said yes and we had got the bug and booked for Greece next august.
We were talking about plans and I said this weekend me and partner are going to Edinburgh and she kind of said "must be nice "

Then my partner tagged me in fb a post about concert tickets he had bought for us for next year.
Within a minute friend rang and said "you both are splaying the cash a bit aren't you -must be nice and tutted"
Then said "won the lottery "
I said no I wish and laughed it off

The holiday this year was bit monthly D/D £200 each and the same next years.
The concert tickets were probably put on his credit card.
The trip to Edinburgh hotel is paid for because I've been selling bits I don't want on vinted and made £300

My friend has just spent £5000 on a new car (from inheritance) so it's not that she's struggling with money or anything.

Me and partner have no children yet -we don't really drink or smoke and I don't have a car to pay insurance /petrol for as my job is within walking distance so we save a bit.

Aibu to talk about things I have a planned?
I just get excited
I was a carer for my mum for 10 years and had no life ..she passed two years ago and I just have this whole new life where I can go out and do stuff and it's really nice
I can actually smile and not have the weight of the world on my shoulders

You do not have to justify what on or how you spend your money. It's your money. No matter what you do, how you act or what you spend money on, there will always be someone who frowns upon it. Smile politely and do your thing, don't let her ruin your plans with her negativity. x

PS, lend us a tenner 🤣

OP you deserve ALL the concerts 😃

@ilgiveyouonemoretime can’t believe she rang you back to comment.
That’s so cheeky.

No, she is definitely being a twat.

OP stop justifying it. If she says anything again tell her to look away if she can't bear you going on a holiday/weekend away/one measly gig.

‘Must be nice <tut>’
’Yeah, it’s brilliant, you’ve inspired me to book another 😀’

I’d lean in to it so much she’d never bring it up again.

Why do people feel they have the right to comment on what other people spend (or even don't spend)? It's so rude!

Unless you owe her money or are in the habit of borrowing money/repaying from her it's none of her business.

Ignore her.

You don't have to justify your spending choices to her.

Enjoy EVERYTHING!

😂😂😂

"Looka my wad"

This.

OP, you enjoy every moment of your freedom.

Be wary of people like this who most definitely don't have your back.

I do think it might be an idea to ask her is she ok?🙄

Your friend sounds jealous. Did you both go out together and maybe she misses your company? Perhaps invite her to go to a concert, pub with you?
Otherwise, ignore her completely as she sounds horrible. Unfriend her from fb. Great to hear you found a new life where you can go out and do stuff.

Fun fact! There is actually a language where they use "intestine" or specifically appendix as a (usually) friendly insult if someone is clumsy and/or messes things up.

Oh! the hair shirt brigade. Fucking Puritans.
Enjoy yourselves be generous with thoughts and wishes.

Next time she comments just go back with. '£5k on a new car, must be nice' or whatever comment she's come out with

Discretion is the better part of valour.

You deserve your well earned treats, but it is not necessary to go on and on and give multiple details. That can get people's backs up sometimes. Just saying.

That would be stooping to her level. And £5k is a very budget second hand car, so it was likely an essential purchase. Far better for the OP to rise above it and tell her straight that she don't have to justify her spending to her.

She sounds the jealous type. Or maybe it’s a really bad day for her and she blew off some steam with some proper sideways snarkiness. Whichever, please ignore her, what she said was really horrible and designed to make you feel guilty when you have nothing to feel guilty about. Have an AMAZING time at all the events!

Hearing about a friend's well deserved break is a nice thing, if you resent hearing about it and begrudge them the trip, you're not really their friend.

YANBU to have your plans or talk about them, but 'Just got back from one holiday, already booking another holiday, and a weekend away, and concert tickets' is a lot of expensive trips all at once and your friend isn't unreasonable to react to that. You are splashing the cash, at least relative to what you describe as your normal behavior - there's nowt wrong with that, but no point being in denial about it or getting huffy when other people notice.

If she actually said something mean or regularly commented on your finances then maybe I could see why you'd be annoyed, but if you're going to chat about spending ££££s on fun trips I don't think it's unreasonable for her to acknowledge it and the remark about the lottery just sounds like friendly teasing to me.

The friend actually called after seeing fb post. This wasn't part of some chat. That makes masaive difference.

Either way, why would anyone tutt at their friends finally enjoying themselves

She might be being rude and jealous or she might be being playful and just being pointing out your having a nice time. Not everything is a slight.

She’s jealous, ignore her!
Good for you that you’re making plans. Life’s for living so enjoy every moment (you don’t need to justify yourself).

Sounds like she preferred it when you couldn't go anywhere

People who are friendly teasers don't tut at you.

If this woman is actually OP's friend, she should damn well be aware that she's spend a decade being a carer for her mum & hasn't had a holiday in 12 years.

It's spectacularly mean-minded to refuse to acknowledge that, & to give OP grief & undermine her for finally being able to come out & enjoy herself. OP also doesn't come over as a the braggart type - her post is basically asking if she has a right to be excited about her newly regained freedom.

(Apologies & commiserations OP - I get it, the freedom is a double-edged sword, as it also means your mum is gone ... )

If you'd ever been tutted at - you'd KNOW it's a slight.