Are all single mothers this chronically sleep deprived?

[Waxxy]

I'm a lone parent. I get up at 6am, unload the dishwasher, put laundry on, do son's packed lunch etc, get son up and ready for nursery, breakfast together, then off to nursery at 8. Start work at 8:30, finish work at 5 (take a slightly longer lunch break so I can go out for a 30 min walk which is important that I do). Pick son up at 5:30, home by 6. Spend a couple of hours with son, doing snacks etc and put him to bed for 8. Spend 1/1.5 he doing housework/online shop/daily boring stuff, usually sit down at around 9:30 and watch tele/read a book got an hour. Upstairs, Makeup off, sometimes shower, braid hair up (I have afro hair), in bed for 11/11:30. Sometimes takes me an hour or so to fall asleep even if I'm shattered so often still awake at 12/12:30. Have been getting 5.5/6 hours of sleep a night for at least the past year. Usually catch up a little bit on weekends.

I'm groggy all the time, brain fog, feel a bit zombie ish. But not sure where I can get more time from to sleep. If I don't do housework my house would be so messy and mental health would suffer. Am I missing something here? Is this just the norm? Am I just spending way too much time stuff I don't need to in the evenings?

Feel like I massively need to turn my life around if I want to feel human again.

Surely you don’t need to do 1.5hrs of housework every night though followed by a load of laundry every morning?
You have to prioritise. Being a single parent is tough but of course you’re going to be tired if you’re getting to sleep after midnight and getting up at 6.
A couple of nights a week you need to just go to bed early. Have dinner with your son, put the dishes in the dishwasher while he plays and do a very quick pick up. Put him to bed, take your makeup off and shower first - it feels so much easier to have an early night when that’s already done.
Watch an episode of something with a cup of tea or read a book in the bath and bed by 9.

Single parent.
of 2

and no, I don’t relate to how you’re feeling in the slightest

Two of you and you do a wash every morning

and your nursery aged son Is doing homework? 😂

Oh sorry housework not homework!!

My house just looks like a tip if I don't. Usually consists of mopping wooden floors, loading dishwasher/washing up, cleaning woodburner which is on all the time and fills up with ash quickly, taking rubbish out, sorting any emails I need to get back to etc etc. Maybe I need to stop doing this. It just naturally seems to take that amount of time.

Go to bed when your son does for a few days. When you are less tired everything will feel better

But if you’ve been out all day…. What housework every day for 1.5 hours?

sounds like you’re making mountains out of molehills! Wait until he starts school, that will leave you quivering!

I didn't say my son does housework, but he does help out. Tidies his room, helps me load the dishwasher etc. Only basic stuff but I don't think that's a bad thing.

OP didn’t say her son was doing homework

Why will him starting school leave me quivering?

Yes I posted an update a second later!

Nicely, I think you’re expectations are off. Your house will not be a tip from not cleaning for over an hour and a half every single day .

He will finish 3.30
World book day, Egyptian day, donate to this, come to that, assemblies, parents day… it’s bloomin endless!

Your posts are really unhelpful and unsupportive @Goodgrief82

Op, you've a lot on. Less housework definitely. Are you a perfectionist? Give yourself a break. Do half the the housework tasks you normally do. Alternate them each day.

And when your dad starts school, you won't be left quivering. Stupid comment. You will take it one step at a time and you will be fine.

Fair enough. Maybe need to just have lower expectations and not put so much pressure on myself.

Not your dad! When your ds starts school.

oh and… homework!

I often find it takes 1/1.5 hrs to get all the house and admin stuff done and everything cleaned down and ready for the next day in the evening - so maybe we are both doing it wrong but OP is not alone! That includes time for meal planning, online shop, laundry, all the things for the family I can’t do in the day while I am at work.

He will have wraparound care as my work hours won't decrease. He already has all of these things at nursery. Parents day, open days, world book day, etc, they all already happen. I don't see how it will be wildly different.

Great then. So at least can’t get worse if you’re feeling overwhelmed now

@Waxxy I knew you'd have it sorted! No quivering from you.

Drop the unnecessary housework. Nobody needs to mop that much. Laundry and kitchen cleared at the basics that need to get done. Everything else can wait.

I already spend a lot of time reading to him and doing puzzles, teaching him about the solar system etc, this time will likely just be replaced with homework. Again, don't see why school is going to be wildly different to what I do now.

You just have to let things go. With the woodburner get everything ready at the weekend. I make sure I have a bucket full of paper ready, one of sticks and all the logs are inside. Ash is just shovelled out into a bucket and emptied when it’s full.
Im not single but he works away and the house and yards are a lot of work.
Enough uniform or clothes for two weeks. Child’s clothes laid out in piles one fore each day. It’s those kind of things that save time daily.

So at least you’re feeling ok about the future in terms of things not getting more overwhelming. So should all get better then as he grows older and more independent!