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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend crossed the line with my daughter

130 replies

chandie · 05/12/2022 18:36

I'm not happy about it.

She had my DD in an emergency for me. DD is 10 months old and breastfed, but eats a lot and drinks from a bottle no problem

I was gone for just 2.5 hours.

When I returned, my friends had said to me 'sorry but I did feed her Blush she just seemed really unsettled and like she needed to nurse'

I was shocked, and asked why she would do that? If she's hungry give her the food I'd left, or her bottle

She said yea but she just wanted comfort. I said I wasn't even gone that long

She has now taken to a Facebook group called 'Breastfeeding Yummy mummies UK' and slagged me off. Loads of people backing her saying I've got the problem.

Now, I'm not against breastfeeding, I fed DS until age 3. But I don't want someone else feeding her and shouldn't have to explicitly explain that before leaving her with someone who can breastfeed surely? Envy

OP posts:
mintich · 05/12/2022 18:37

Wtf??? I'd be furious!

DowntonCrabby · 05/12/2022 18:39

She’s is 100% in the wrong. Not to have nursed someone else’s baby, but to have done so without the Mother’s express knowledge and permission.

iamjustwinginglife · 05/12/2022 18:39

That's just weird! I'd cut all contact-she has no boundaries.

Original poster
chandie · 05/12/2022 18:39

@mintich thank you! At least someone agrees

Even my own mum says I'm being silly

H says it's fine and what's the problem? Does she abuse alcohol or smoke?

I said no that's not he point, she's actually a very healthy person, better lifestyle than me that's for sure

But it's not my boobs and that's why I'm angry

OP posts:
cansu · 05/12/2022 18:39

That is rather odd of her. I think there are however some people who have odd views about breastfeeding and their role as someone who feeds infants. I think I would just not ask her again as it would seem weird to me to feed someone else's child.

romdowa · 05/12/2022 18:40

Is be furious and the yummy mummies can pisd off as well

Cuppasoupmonster · 05/12/2022 18:40

🤮

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 05/12/2022 18:41

I find this weird. It almost feels like a power play. It wasn't a necessity; she did it just because you couldn't stop her.

Original poster
chandie · 05/12/2022 18:41

romdowa · 05/12/2022 18:40

Is be furious and the yummy mummies can pisd off as well

Happy to link you if you're interested lol. They're a bit cult like

OP posts:
Fleur405 · 05/12/2022 18:41

Yeah that is super weird. I breastfeed my own baby. But I wouldn’t feed someone else’s. Not even my sister’s to be honest

Daisybuttercup12345 · 05/12/2022 18:41

I would be absolutely raging.

Changechangychange · 05/12/2022 18:42

That is really fucking weird. I BF DS to 20 months, and I would have been furious if somebody else had stuck their tit in his mouth - it is a really intimate thing to do (I do NOT mean sexual, but special to the bond between mother and baby).

Blanca87 · 05/12/2022 18:42

This is hand the rocked the cradle -esq. I would be furious

Scrambledchickens · 05/12/2022 18:43

I wouldn’t mind a good friend feeding one of mine in an emergency and if they wouldn’t take anything else. At 10 months with lots of options I think it’s a bit odd tbh.

Redkettle · 05/12/2022 18:43

chandie · 05/12/2022 18:41

Happy to link you if you're interested lol. They're a bit cult like

Show quote history

Oh god def link! Yanbu!

Seasidesusy · 05/12/2022 18:44

I would absolutely not be ok with this and if I was in her position I wouldn’t dream of feeding a friend’s child. I’m a member of that FB group (although I haven’t seen your friend’s post) and can imagine they all think you’re being unreasonable but honestly, your baby, your boundaries.

BiscuitLover3678 · 05/12/2022 18:44

I’d personally have no issue with it but it’s weird she did it without asking. I’d only do it or expect it to be done if discussed as an option beforehand. It feels very odd otherwise.

Original poster
chandie · 05/12/2022 18:44

www.facebook.com/groups/1158967504148194/?ref=share

OP posts:
Original poster
chandie · 05/12/2022 18:45

Seasidesusy · 05/12/2022 18:44

I would absolutely not be ok with this and if I was in her position I wouldn’t dream of feeding a friend’s child. I’m a member of that FB group (although I haven’t seen your friend’s post) and can imagine they all think you’re being unreasonable but honestly, your baby, your boundaries.

What's wrong with them? I don't know why they all insist I am the weirdo

OP posts:
Figgygal · 05/12/2022 18:45

Hardly an emergency at 10months with other options available to her
I'm aghast

Original poster
chandie · 05/12/2022 18:45

Figgygal · 05/12/2022 18:45

Hardly an emergency at 10months with other options available to her
I'm aghast

Her argument is it's for comfort

OP posts:
RandomPerson42 · 05/12/2022 18:46

Your friend is bizarre, will she breast feed your husband too if he asks nicely?

Rainraingoaway21 · 05/12/2022 18:46

That is weird and unnecessary - she done that just because she could.

I would be furious too.

WhoWants2Know · 05/12/2022 18:46

You just can't put your boob in anyone's mouth without permission. Baby doesn't have capacity to consent, so a parent's permission is needed

LightDrizzle · 05/12/2022 18:46

That’s odd when she knows your baby is happy to drink from a bottle. Also could she not have messaged to check whether you were happy for her to do that?

She has to know that this is not usual in the U.K. or anglophone countries so irrespective of her own views on it, she should have checked.

Sounds like she was collecting cool vouchers for her little group and that was more important than your preferences about your own baby. She sounds up her own arse.

I’d be pissed off too and think less of her.

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