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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend crossed the line with my daughter

130 replies

chandie · 05/12/2022 18:36

I'm not happy about it.

She had my DD in an emergency for me. DD is 10 months old and breastfed, but eats a lot and drinks from a bottle no problem

I was gone for just 2.5 hours.

When I returned, my friends had said to me 'sorry but I did feed her Blush she just seemed really unsettled and like she needed to nurse'

I was shocked, and asked why she would do that? If she's hungry give her the food I'd left, or her bottle

She said yea but she just wanted comfort. I said I wasn't even gone that long

She has now taken to a Facebook group called 'Breastfeeding Yummy mummies UK' and slagged me off. Loads of people backing her saying I've got the problem.

Now, I'm not against breastfeeding, I fed DS until age 3. But I don't want someone else feeding her and shouldn't have to explicitly explain that before leaving her with someone who can breastfeed surely? Envy

OP posts:
dooneyousmugelf · 05/12/2022 19:02

Oh my god! Sorry to say when I read your OP I thought it was a troll post. I highly doubted there would even exist such a group as 'breastfeeding yummy mummies' also, until I looked it up. Wtf

Namechangenumber23 · 05/12/2022 19:02

chandie · 05/12/2022 18:58

Most of those group members are absolutely batshit. Some normal innocent women amongst them but not a lot

Show quote history

Nowt's changed then. I BF my son nearly 20 years ago and they were bad enough then. I was quite a young Mum and they were very intimidating and full on.

Original poster
chandie · 05/12/2022 19:05

dooneyousmugelf · 05/12/2022 19:02

Oh my god! Sorry to say when I read your OP I thought it was a troll post. I highly doubted there would even exist such a group as 'breastfeeding yummy mummies' also, until I looked it up. Wtf

Yes they're just awful, especially the 'big bots' and then everyone piles in to agree with them

They are nasty pieces of work a lot of the time, ignoring new mums in tears and struggling to breastfeed. Insisting they need to do the best for their baby and persist with cracked nipples and agree PND over breastfeeding and not wanting to

OP posts:
C1N1C · 05/12/2022 19:05

This reply has been hidden

This reply has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

LimeTwists · 05/12/2022 19:07

Oh my GOD, OP. I can’t tell you how angry I’d be about this. What an absolutely insanely intrusive thing to do without asking.

susiesuelou · 05/12/2022 19:08

I'd be FUMING. No way. Just no.

MojoJojo71 · 05/12/2022 19:11

I’d be livid and would probably end the friendship. I don’t think I could or would even want to continue to be friends with someone who would disrespect me like that. She had absolutely no right to breastfeed your baby without your explicit consent. Bloody weirdo

YellowTreeHouse · 05/12/2022 19:14

I would be so incredibly angry and I would absolutely let all hell rain down on her.

She would certainly know that what she did was inappropriate and unacceptable.

2bazookas · 05/12/2022 19:15

When baby sitting other peoples kids, I always took the line, I will treat your child as if it was mine. If your baby had been fed, was "unsettled and "needed comfort" that tells me it was upset and bawling.

She put the baby's needs first.

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 05/12/2022 19:16

A "police matter"? What a joke.

Not sure how I'd feel about this tbh. Theoretically my BFF could breastfeed my baby. I think I'd be more annoyed at the lack of apology and posting it to a Facebook group than the act itself.

CloudyYellow · 05/12/2022 19:18

PenelopeTitsDrop3121 · 05/12/2022 18:55

She was definitely in the wrong. How dare she!! HIV can be transmitted through breast milk,a small risk but a risk all the same.

If this correct then it is extremely serious matter.

Original poster
chandie · 05/12/2022 19:23

2bazookas · 05/12/2022 19:15

When baby sitting other peoples kids, I always took the line, I will treat your child as if it was mine. If your baby had been fed, was "unsettled and "needed comfort" that tells me it was upset and bawling.

She put the baby's needs first.

Right so use other methods then. Don't do something so intimate I haven't agreed to

OP posts:
Mouk · 05/12/2022 19:33

YANBU!

GoAgainstNicki · 05/12/2022 19:58

You must be lying?!! I had to read this twice to make sure I understood it correctly. Why the hell would she stick her breast in your child’s mouth, that is SO strange? And then go on to FB to slag you off as if you’re in the wrong?! I’d cut her off with no hesitation. Fucking weird

GCMM · 05/12/2022 20:21

Definitely crossing a line. I would never have breastfed someone else's baby (even if they asked me to) nor allow them to feed mine.

poefaced · 05/12/2022 20:23

🤮

Who does she think she is, Rebecca De Mornay?!

Amanitacae · 05/12/2022 20:28

chandie · 05/12/2022 18:58

Most of those group members are absolutely batshit. Some normal innocent women amongst them but not a lot

Show quote history

I joined this group when I had my first child. I'm now on my third and am still in there, usually just for the wildly inappropriate posts which regularly appear.

I can't find your friend's post complaining about you though OP. What could I search under?

Wrinklydinkly · 05/12/2022 20:47

I'd be boiling mad. That's utterly inappropriate. Breastfeeding is an intimate thing between mother and child. Sounds like she used the opportunity of being alone with your child to further her yummy mummy profile on her weird FB group, she didn't do this to benefit your baby, it was completely unnecessary, she did it for herself. Be very wary of her.

GrohlOnAPole · 05/12/2022 20:55

I’d not be at all happy with this! I fed DS until 2.5 but to me it was an emotional bond as well as for food and I’d have felt really upset at someone else doing that with him.

obviously if it was life or death then I’d be grateful. But when there are other options then I’d not like it at all.

likewise, I’d not breastfeed another persons baby unless it was an absolute dire emergency. Or if they asked me to for some reason. Certainly I’d want to know that they would want it to happen.

oioimatey · 05/12/2022 21:02

Wtaf... That is such an obvious line that she has crossed. Why would you even dream of doing that??

If your friend's DC is unsettled then, I dunno, distract them? I would never feed a friend's child, especially if they didn't give their explicit permission!

FlamingWreath · 05/12/2022 21:05

I don’t so much think it’s crossing the line as an assault actually. I do think this is a police matter.

Notimeforaname · 05/12/2022 21:17

She put the baby's needs first
This is fucking mental.

Deciding to breastfeeding someone else's child with no permission is fucked up.

This wasn't a starving newborn who'd been abandoned .. this was a 10 month old being watched for two hours.
The woman is mental.

Throckmorton · 05/12/2022 21:27

CloudyYellow · 05/12/2022 19:18

If this correct then it is extremely serious matter.

Show quote history

Yes, it is absolutely true - HIV can be transmitted via breast milk

CrackingcheeseWallace · 05/12/2022 21:40

Wow! I'd go nuclear with that! She can fuck right off, so can all 'yummy mummies' gag 🤮🤮🤮🤮

Crackof · 05/12/2022 21:48

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 05/12/2022 18:41

I find this weird. It almost feels like a power play. It wasn't a necessity; she did it just because you couldn't stop her.

Totally this

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