It’s a dog one. Who was being unreasonable?

[Ohhelpicantthinkofaname]

So, I own a friendly, if slightly mad medium sized dog.

today we were out on a walk and was heading back up a footpath with a stream to the side. Most people have their dogs off the lead along this path, it’s nothing unusual.

so I’m walking up the path and my dog is a little way ahead. A child approx 20+ meters away see my dog, screams and runs back to his mum. The child is probably 7-9 years old. I call my dog back so she’s near me.

A man who was with them and I think a friend rather than the child’s father comes up to me and says “that child is scared of dogs”. I reply “ok, well my dog likes kids, but I’ll take her over here” and walked over to where the stream was a threw her ball in so she would just play and ignore them as they walked by.

the man gave me the filthiest look and mutter some choice things about me under his breath.

to my mind it’s better for a child with a fear of dogs to see a dog at a safe distance minding its own business, rather than me panicking and rushing to put it back on the lead, making it seem like there really is something to fear. My dog has good recall and I trusted her not to cause an issue. Also at that child’s age I would have thought some exposure to dogs to try and address what is clearly quite a serious fear would be a good thing, rather than feeding into it by trying to ensure he doesn’t encounter any dogs.

so was I unreasonable for not putting my dog straight back on the lead, and the man was justified for his glaring and muttered insults. Or is it fine to keep her off the lead, occupied and at a safe distance?

The kid passed by without incident btw. If I though my dogs would have actually done anything she would have been on the lead.

@MadelineUsher not really, just logic.
Dogs need walked, OP’s dog is medium sized and likes playing with a ball in water - likely a dog of a working nature who will be out walking at least twice a day, every day no matter the weather, for a decent amount of time. Dog wasn’t bothered by the noise of someone screaming and came when recalled so is clearly a well socialised and trained dog.

Child on the other hand - screamed at sight of the dog. Clearly not out walking that route often if it’s a popular one for dog walkers or he’d be screaming every few minutes.

Access to public open space is for everyone, a 7 year old human does not take priority over every other human and animal who uses that space in an appropriate way.

Lots of mention here of dogs only being let off of the lead in “appropriate places”. A dog with good recall off the lead on a path by a stream in a rural area with no livestock around is appropriate.

Brilliant post. Couldn't agree more. Especially with the below -

Child on the other hand - screamed at sight of the dog. Clearly not out walking that route often if it’s a popular one for dog walkers or he’d be screaming every few minutes

Access to public open space is for everyone, a 7 year old human does not take priority over every other human and animal who uses that space in an appropriate way

I’m a dog owner and I’m sick of other dog owners having their dogs off the lead. The times dogs have came bounding over to my dog and started leaping all over him with the dog owner shouting from a distance “don’t worry, they are friendly”. I don’t give a rats arse if they are friendly, have control over your dogs. Clear up your dog shit too. So many owners walk ahead of their dogs, then pretend they didn’t see their dog behind them laying a huge steaming turd.
Seems there are so many lazy, irresponsible dogs owners around.

not really, just logic.
Dogs need walked, OP’s dog is medium sized and likes playing with a ball in water - likely a dog of a working nature who will be out walking at least twice a day, every day no matter the weather, for a decent amount of time.

Oh, please. As the owner of an actual working dog, I can tell you, yes they do need a lot of exercise and enjoy working; and indeed playing with a ball, with or without water; but so do many breeds. Playing with balls and leaping into water is hardly the sole province of working dogs... You are just inventing more and more things! "Of a working nature", my arse.

Dog wasn’t bothered by the noise of someone screaming and came when recalled so is clearly a well socialised and trained dog.

Dog comes when called, that's basic training. OP describes it as "slightly mad" which does hint at a few other things.

I can't be bothered to take apart the rest of your latest fantasy post, sentence by sentence, but you really are just making all these things up. Which is not logical.

To clarify, I describe her as slightly mad as she’s a high energy working breed with a lot of personality. But she also has fantastic recall, will always come back when called and will always wait when told to wait.

there was no way that I would be letting my wet muddy dog go anywhere near anyone let alone a frightened kid. But to me taking her well away from the child and ensuring she did bother him or even look in his direction, allowing the kid to pass without incident and barely noticing the dog was sufficiently responsible dog ownership.

My standard response to that was "well mines not so I suggest you get over here and get yours away" mine was soft as butter but it used to piss me off when other people let their dogs get in her face.

Sorry, but have you actually read my post? I kept my dog well away from the kid. She was never anywhere near him. I never let my dog go up to people unless invited. I have worked hard to ensure she has good recall and does what she’s told.

please don’t accuse me of being something I’m not. I agree that unruly dogs are annoying and I’m well aware that not everyone wants a dog to go up to them. This is why she is not allowed to go up to anyone unless they call her over and even if they do if she’s wet or muddy I won’t let her go to them.

please read what I’ve written before making accusations.

Oh so you put your.dog on the lead did you?
No you didn't.
Yes I read your post. All the facts and the entitlement is off the scale.

Ok. That’s your opinion.

so you feel it would have been best for me to put my dog on the lead and carry on walking on the path right past the kid yeah? Rather than taking it well away from the child so it could pass by hardly noticing it? Because putting on the lead and taking it away seems a little OTT. One or the other is reasonable and I feel what I did was less distressing to the child.

but we’re all different I guess.

@AngelicPickles

Only unleashed in suitable areas. Good recall and training they've invested in. Take the initiative to keep their dog away from children they don't know and adults too. If all dog owners were like that then the 'hatred' for dogs wouldn't be widespread.

so I did all the things you say makes a good dog owner yet my entitlement is still off the scale. Sorry, but what?!

And even if it is the friendliest dog in the world, dogs way of being friendly is approaching at speed, barking, licking, jumping up, scratching.

My dog has never done any of those things, so by your logic he either isn’t friendly, he’s a person…

As an owner of 2 cats (but also a lover of dogs) can I say how distressing it is to see people who are genuinely scared of dogs, it is something usually rooted in childhood, or a habit learned from an adult.
Okay a lot of dog owners are thoughtless and let their dogs jump up at small children, which usually creates the fear, just a bit of forethought by owners to have their dogs on leads when young children are around would stop this.
You miss so much if you are frightened of dogs or cats, just some consideration and sense needs to be used by owners and parents/carers ie Don't let a small child "worry" a dog or cat.
I love it when I dog walk and a child comes up and asks if they can stroke the dog, I always think thats a child that has been thoughtfully raised to be sensible around animals.

Five metres isn't a significant enough distance to ensure your dog can be intercepted before it decides to go near the child.

No sorry dogs aren't people. Your logic is flawed.

@MadelineUsher looks like you’re the one making things up - where in the OP does it say the dog “loomed up” to the child.

Maybe read the post, engage your brain and contribute something useful rather than antagonising other posters

The dog was happily playing in the stream with her ball, totally ignoring the child.

Would you have preferred OP to leash her dog and walk past the frightened child at even closer range, or better yet just jump in the stream with the dog? How is that a better solution than sending the dog totally off the path to amuse herself with her ball for a moment so the child could pass by?

Also OP do you have a spaniel by any chance

Dogs should be on leads on paths where people and other dog walkers have no choice but to walk past. All you do is recall your dog as soon as you see someone approaching, clip the lead on, reward, then wait until they pass. Why is that a problem? Why have a drama about frightening kids and worrying people with reactive dogs?

Because they've gone to the effort to talk to you and explain and OP has made it all about her dogs needs and likes.

Maybe read the post, engage your brain and contribute something useful rather than antagonising other posters.

Where did I make it about my dogs needs and likes?

I did what in the moment seemed like the best thing for all involved. It worked and the kid passed by without incident or distress.

“ok, well my dog likes kids"

Well in this case, as has been mentioned repeatedly throughout this thread, if OP had put her dog on the lead then it would have been CLOSER to the child. So there is no basis whatsoever for all the "just put your dog on a lead ffs" comments because what OP did meant that the dog was further away from the kid.

Oh for gods sake. That was my knee jerk reaction to his abrupt way of speaking to me. But actions speak louder than words. Did I let my dog run up to the kid? That’s what she would have probably liked to do if she was allowed. But no, I didn’t. She went no where near him as I’ve actually taken the time to train my dog to do as she’s told.

theres some dramatic people on here

because what OP did meant that the dog was further away from the kid.

If she'd called the dog back, put the lead on it, and walked away with the dog from the child, that would have been kinder.

A frightened person, child or adult, is not necessarily reassured by an offleash dog in a slightly different location. How is one to know it won't still bound over.

If she'd called the dog back, put the lead on it, and walked away with the dog from the child, that would have been kinder

It is kinder to make the scared kid walk past the dog on a narrow path than to have the dog playing with its ball in a stream. Yeah not seeing the logic there.