It’s a dog one. Who was being unreasonable?

[Ohhelpicantthinkofaname]

So, I own a friendly, if slightly mad medium sized dog.

today we were out on a walk and was heading back up a footpath with a stream to the side. Most people have their dogs off the lead along this path, it’s nothing unusual.

so I’m walking up the path and my dog is a little way ahead. A child approx 20+ meters away see my dog, screams and runs back to his mum. The child is probably 7-9 years old. I call my dog back so she’s near me.

A man who was with them and I think a friend rather than the child’s father comes up to me and says “that child is scared of dogs”. I reply “ok, well my dog likes kids, but I’ll take her over here” and walked over to where the stream was a threw her ball in so she would just play and ignore them as they walked by.

the man gave me the filthiest look and mutter some choice things about me under his breath.

to my mind it’s better for a child with a fear of dogs to see a dog at a safe distance minding its own business, rather than me panicking and rushing to put it back on the lead, making it seem like there really is something to fear. My dog has good recall and I trusted her not to cause an issue. Also at that child’s age I would have thought some exposure to dogs to try and address what is clearly quite a serious fear would be a good thing, rather than feeding into it by trying to ensure he doesn’t encounter any dogs.

so was I unreasonable for not putting my dog straight back on the lead, and the man was justified for his glaring and muttered insults. Or is it fine to keep her off the lead, occupied and at a safe distance?

The kid passed by without incident btw. If I though my dogs would have actually done anything she would have been on the lead.

Stop the amateur psychology and put your dog on the lead. Honestly the sense of you having one clue as to what this does to a child who has a phobia is astounding.

To me that seems healthier for the kid to see than putting the dog back on the lead and making it seem like something to fear.

With respect, that’s not really your call to make. You don’t know that child, or why he is so afraid of dogs. The fact that someone came to tell you the fact would make me think that it was something serious (my DD doesn’t like dogs - and neither do I - but I’ll usually jolly her along a bit with something like “it’s not a rampaging tiger, it’s a little pet dog” or whatever). And fear of dogs isn’t irrational; many posters on here have reported lasting damage from bites. Every couple of months comes a news report of a child mauled and killed by a dog, whose owner always claims had never been aggressive before. You thought yourself superior in that situation, that came across and the man made his own thoughts clear. But sounds like no harm done.

Your dog was under control and you took him away from the child. YANBU.

By your description I don't think you did anything wrong. Your dog was under control and well away from the child. If i was being picky I would say you did slightly antagonise the family friend but it sounds like you were responding in kind.

@GuyFawkesDay We don't have dog parks in the UK.
Of course the UK has dog parks!

Im a dog owner and i think you were in the wrong! You should have put the dog on a lead for the child's peace of mind! Its not up to you to decide how the child should be exposed to a dog!

@GuyFawkesDay I'm in the U.K. too, and as I say there are definitely dog parks where I am.

(I agree with other posters that they are quite rubbish, though)

Except for the one I mentioned with the woodland area, that one is quite good as it's so large.

Dogs aren't people op.
They're descendants of wolves.
Every single fucker whose dog has bitten or even killed a child has a 'friendly dog who has never done anything like that before'.
And even if it is the friendliest dog in the world, dogs way of being friendly is approaching at speed, barking, licking, jumping up, scratching. You know, because they are not people FFS.
Others shouldn't have their space invaded because you have a weird entitled perception that everyone should love dogs and if they don't that's their problem.
I used to like dogs until I had children. Now I have a little boy who is traumatized by being jumped on, bowled over and barked at by people aggressively insisting their dog is being friendly. Taking it as some sort of personal affront that my child is scared of an unpredictable beast who towers over them and whose owner makes only half arsed attempts to control them.

On the slipside my in-laws and next door neighbours have big breeds and impeccable dog owning attitudes.

Only unleashed in suitable areas. Good recall and training they've invested in. Take the initiative to keep their dog away from children they don't know and adults too. If all dog owners were like that then the 'hatred' for dogs wouldn't be widespread.

Unfortunately, people like you and the recent thread where someone took their unleashed dog into a children's park are the rule rather than the exception. Honestly you are lucky most people in England have a high tolerance of animals because to be quite frank, if someone kicked your dog for invading their space and they consequently bit and had to be put down you'd have only yourself to blame.

A reminder that only one of you is meant to be an animal without boundaries. It's your dog and your responsibility, not for humans to dance around your poor choices.

I reply “ok, well my dog likes kids what was the point of saying this? It sounds a bit nasty. It doesn't matter what your dog likes.

Not your place to try and expose this child though. This isn't your child. Just put your dog on a lead and don't make nasty comments like oh well my dog likes kids. Your dog liking kids doesn't trump the kids fear of the dog.

Yes its your weird nasty comment

@alasangne why did you feel the need to post the same thing twice and make the comment on op being "nasty" when she clearly hasn't been nasty at all. Were you there? No. Very odd.

Oh and just so you know, the following comments are as dickish as 'My dog likes children''
He is only a little dog.
He is not scary
He is friendly
He is just showing he likes you (whilst barking jumping up)
He's just saying hello (barking aggressively)
He's not going to hurt you.

Each and every one of these utterances highlight you as an entitled and cu tish dog owner.

I bet you employ them with your 'slightly mad' dog on a regular basis.

Because I didn't see that OP acknowledged it might have been her comment that annoyed them the first time. And yes it was nasty. Well my dog likes kids. How is that anything other than nasty.

The I haven't read the thread loons are now well out.

This dog was recalled and was never close to the child. It sat with its owner whilst the kid passed by. It never approached, never mind jumped up, bowled over or anything else. It's clearly well trained.

How is that a problem?

I totally agree.

If someone says they are scared of dogs don't try and tell them that your dog is an exception

@alasangne 😂 how is it nasty?

There really are some very odd people that come out of the woodwork when dogs are the subject. Baffling.

It wasn't put on a lead. It was five metres away. That's nothing to a dog.
And even if it's the most amazingly behaved dog in the world common courtesy means you try and accommodate other people because, once again, people come before dogs.

What is the problem with putting a dog on a lead for a minute or two, though?

Every single fucker whose dog has bitten or even killed a child has a 'friendly dog who has never done anything like that before'.

This is just nonsense - most dogs involved in recent, high profile child attacks have had a known history of biting. Whilst it can happen that a dog who has been charming all its life suddenly flips and kills or mauls a child, that is very much the exception. Most dogs who attack have been showing significant signs of escalating aggression.

"My dog likes kids" is no more a nasty comment than "that kid is scared of dogs". They are both pointless statements - the man's comment is redundant after the kid screamed and ran away from the dog initially, and the OP's comment couldn't be relied upon as fact. If this is the baseline for offense, people need to get a grip.

Nope the label of 'my dog is friendly ' is a self Id subjective one.
My cousin's dog bit an old lady in the face. It had never done that before. Mainly because anyone who knew the family knew they'd done bugger all training and the label of friendly was inaccurate.
Old lady didn't know, but cousin got to act all affronted blame the old lady and say he was provoked.
The Alsatian that bit my friends hand also apparently had a clean record and was 'friendly'.

I have to say my child doesn't like dogs because cunty dog owners take his whimpering and cowering as a personal affront and an invitation to take their dog close to him and encourage it to sniff him.
Perhaps if dog owners were not so entitled as a general rule we wouldn't need to announce the bleeding obvious.

@AngelicPickles sweeping generalization there.